Jokes. The good the bad and the ugly.

[Dog Guy]

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.
"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
“It hasn't affected my brothers though."

[Bigguy]

A man approached the door of an isolated farm house. The next closest house was miles away. When he knocked on the door, a boy of about 10 answered.
“Excuse me son,” the man said, “Is your father home?”
“No sir,” answered the boy. “Ma and Pa took my older brother and sister into town. It’s my turn to stay here and watch the house.”
The man looked perturbed so the boy continued, “I know I look young, but we’re pretty self-sufficient out here in the country. I can probably help you with anything Pa could.”
The man hesitated for a moment, then said, “Well son, I’m going to need to talk to your father about your older brother Billy getting my daughter pregnant.”
The boy pursed his lips for a moment then said, “Yes sir, you’ll need to talk with Pa about that. I know he charges $200 for the bull and $500 for the stallion, but I ain’t got no idea what he charge for Billy.”