"Florida Man" Back in the News

[blues]

The hits just keep on coming... (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/06/06/kirkwood-manhunt-suspect-chicken-coop-broome-historian-roger-luther/1363345001/)



Police: Florida man wrecks stolen car, found naked in chicken coop in New York


BINGHAMTON, N.Y. – Returning home around noon Tuesday, Roger Luther of Kirkwood was met with a swarm of law enforcement vehicles and a helicopter was flying overhead.

As he quickly learned from news outlets, New York State Police were in the midst of a manhunt for a suspect who allegedly fled the scene of an 9:45 a.m. crash on Interstate 81. The suspect had been driving a stolen 2016 Audi from Florida.

Police arrested the suspect: John Mehne, 25, of Sarasota, Florida. He's was charged with felony counts of first-degree robbery, third-degree criminal possession of stolen property, first-degree burglary and aggravated cruelty to animals. He's being held in the Broome County jail.

More charges are being considered and state police are still investigating.

[farscott]

I am sure there is perfectly reasonable explanation for everything that happened.

[Coal Train]

He apparently “retired” but there are still many Florida Man exploits.

https://mobile.twitter.com/_floridaman?lang=en

[ragnar_d]

I am sure there is perfectly reasonable explanation for everything that happened.

When it comes to these stories, “Because Florida . . .” Is as reasonable as you’re gonna get.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Joe in PNG]

I'm volunteering at a central Florida church food ministry this summer.

Today, we had a guy drive an unlicensed and untagged motorbike across various parking lots, throw a fit, and disappeared into another ministry building.
Then, a whole 'nother guy decided to change into the clothes he just got right in front of everyone.

Two sightings in one hour.

[FNFAN]

...because, “I’m tired of living in Trump’s country, I’m tired of Trump being president.”

Added to ensure equality among the sexes!:eek:

"When asked what was wrong, the woman lifted her shirt to reveal “three stab wounds on [her] stomach that were still bleeding. The woman was subsequently transported by EMS workers to a local hospital “under trauma alert. The report states that the woman said she “has been Baker Acted before and has attempted to hurt herself in the past.”

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/donald-trump/palmetto-stabbing-941685

[blues]

https://wbbh.images.worldnow.com/images/18054610_G.jpg?auto=webp&disable=upscale&height=560&fit=bounds&lastEditedDate=1548441870000


https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jv8P1JWBCEk/WYdBu25PTWI/AAAAAAAAACQ/VefcYrvduZIQ4MHIY2Ib9XFkJoC8uHHnQCLcBGAs/s1600/BudweiserAmerica.png

[Sal Picante]

Sarasota, eh?

"wasn't me..."

[RJ]

We need a Pflorida-Man Pfestivus Meet up (or at least shooting session) soon(tm).

[critter]

Well Florida would have long since been at the bottom of the Atlantic... if Georgia didn't suck so much...


Just kidding... that's only Atlanta...

[blues]

Well Florida would have long since been at the bottom of the Atlantic... if Georgia didn't suck so much...


Just kidding... that's only Atlanta...

If Georgia sucked more, you wouldn't have this:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c7f8DxRLEQU/VU6ATSR1DtI/AAAAAAAABLA/E3P3T08b8K0/s1600/images.jpg


Just sayin'...

[StraitR]

You've been sending us your left voting ill-mannered retirees for decades. Seems only fair we start sending you our sun-stroked nutjobs. :p

[TDA]

38791

[Greg]

SHIRTLESS FLORIDA MAN FIGHTS TREE

https://floridaman.com/shirtless-florida-man-fights-tree/

[11B10]

The hits just keep on coming... (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/06/06/kirkwood-manhunt-suspect-chicken-coop-broome-historian-roger-luther/1363345001/)




blues, it would appear that "Florida men" are attempting to take the lead from California men in being a whack job. Do you think this is a side effect of having too much sun, or ?

[Joe in PNG]

blues, it would appear that "Florida men" are attempting to take the lead from California men in being a whack job. Do you think this is a side effect of having too much sun, or ?

In defense of my home state, Florida Man most often is not actually originally from Florida.

We do get a whole lot of transients drifting down because sweltering is better than freezing to death.

[Hambo]

In defense of my home state, Florida Man most often is not actually originally from Florida.

That's true on the coasts, but if you head inland Florida Man is a native. Except when he's from Georgia.

[Coal Train]

https://i.redd.it/dmyvhyyjlul11.jpg

[Joe in PNG]

That's true on the coasts, but if you head inland Florida Man is a native. Except when he's from Georgia.

There's lots of Michigan people here in the middle of the state.

[blues]

https://img4.nickiswift.com/img/gallery/this-geico-caveman-is-gorgeous-in-real-life-upgrade/hes-been-working-steadily-in-showbiz-1557772804.jpg

"All this talk about 'Florida Man' just makes my skin crawl. We were here first!"

[critter]

If Georgia sucked more, you wouldn't have this:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c7f8DxRLEQU/VU6ATSR1DtI/AAAAAAAABLA/E3P3T08b8K0/s1600/images.jpg


Just sayin'...

Now that was an actual LOL moment...

[11B10]

In defense of my home state, Florida Man most often is not actually originally from Florida.

We do get a whole lot of transients drifting down because sweltering is better than freezing to death.



Joe, I know exactly what you mean by "not actually from Florida." My big brother has a couple places near the Gulf coast, but I can't imagine him being in those types of altercations. Although.....he did "kidnap" me for a two week long guys only trip right after I retired and we might have done now forgotten things. Let's just say that I was a very cooperative kidnapee.

[Wondering Beard]

https://i0.wp.com/www.powerlineblog.com/ed-assets/2019/06/Screen-Shot-2019-06-01-at-9.40.50-PM.png?resize=595%2C600&ssl=1

[HCountyGuy]

Classy Florida

Florida woman stabs husband to death. She used to be his stepdaughter. (https://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending-now/florida-woman-accused-of-stabbing-husband-to-death-used-to-be-his-stepdaughter/956540972)

[Drang]

Classy Florida
You spelled "classic" wrong.

[HCM]

Classy Florida

Florida woman stabs husband to death. She used to be his stepdaughter. (https://www.wsbtv.com/news/trending-now/florida-woman-accused-of-stabbing-husband-to-death-used-to-be-his-stepdaughter/956540972)

38841

[DC_P]

Fla. man shooting at Amazon Alexa sparks gun battle with police (https://www.policeone.com/officer-shootings/articles/484084006-Fla-man-shooting-at-Amazon-Alexa-sparks-gun-battle-with-police/?utm_source=PoliceOne+Member+Newsletter&utm_campaign=c799ec0f34-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_06_10_08_44&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ca044a84ea-c799ec0f34-61393463)

[blues]

Fla. man shooting at Amazon Alexa sparks gun battle with police (https://www.policeone.com/officer-shootings/articles/484084006-Fla-man-shooting-at-Amazon-Alexa-sparks-gun-battle-with-police/?utm_source=PoliceOne+Member+Newsletter&utm_campaign=c799ec0f34-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_06_10_08_44&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ca044a84ea-c799ec0f34-61393463)

This should lead to some new Alexa skills...

[DC_P]

https://www.motor1.com/news/370908/florida-man-smashes-20-cars/

When asked by the authorities as to why Wilson did the crime, he responded with this: "Take me to jail. I did it because Donald Trump owes me one trillion dollars and these vehicles belong to the mafia."

[Pacioli]

https://www.motor1.com/news/370908/florida-man-smashes-20-cars/

When asked by the authorities as to why Wilson did the crime, he responded with this: "Take me to jail. I did it because Donald Trump owes me one trillion dollars and these vehicles belong to the mafia."

"Witnesses said that Wilson used rocks and a belt buckle to smash the windows of the unsuspecting parked vehicles."

Those cars should have had better situational awareness. Condition White!

[BehindBlueI's]

https://fox59.com/2019/10/04/florida-man-mistakenly-shoots-and-kills-son-in-law-in-birthday-surprise-gone-wrong/


Florida man shot and killed his Norwegian son-in-law when a birthday prank went horribly wrong Tuesday night, authorities say.

[RJ]

Inventive.

https://www.baynews9.com/fl/tampa/ap-online/2019/10/07/woman-hides-in-stores-ceiling-to-avoid-shoplifting-arrest

“PORT CHARLOTTE, Fla. (AP) — A Florida woman faces multiple charges after authorities say she climbed into the ceiling of a Big Lots store to avoid a shoplifting arrest.

A Charlotte County Sheriff's Office news release says 37-year-old Kristina Perkins went into the store's restroom on Friday and removed some tiles so she could climb into the ceiling.”

[blues]

https://arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tbt.s3.amazonaws.com/public/7DT3XPZBIFGN3BWPOHT53DVWYM.jpg

"I simply did what any freedom loving American would do under similar circumstances."

[Baldanders]

I was born in Florida on a Friday the 13th.

So I am I excused from having to show a decent decision making process forever, or am I banned from all activities that require a decent decision making process?

[blues]

I was born in Florida on a Friday the 13th.

So I am I excused from having to show a decent decision making process forever, or am I banned from all activities that require a decent decision making process?

Yes.

[Baldanders]

https://arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-tbt.s3.amazonaws.com/public/7DT3XPZBIFGN3BWPOHT53DVWYM.jpg

"I simply did what any freedom loving American would do under similar circumstances."

She should rename herself Crystal Genius.

[Baldanders]

Yes.

So it's just teaching school and posting to PF at home for me, from here on in. Unless I escape through the attic!!

[RJ]

I was born in Florida on a Friday the 13th.

So I am I excused from having to show a decent decision making process forever, or am I banned from all activities that require a decent decision making process?

https://www.recordnet.com/zz/entertainmentlife/20190321/which-florida-man-are-you-this-google-search-will-tell-you

[Baldanders]

https://www.recordnet.com/zz/entertainmentlife/20190321/which-florida-man-are-you-this-google-search-will-tell-you
That's a scary game. Evidently, I am the sort of Floridian who imitates pro wrestlers.

Damn, it was barely a month in that state and the Jacksonville stink will be on me forever.

[Zincwarrior]

https://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-accused-giving-beer-000600555.html

Florida man accused of giving beer to an alligator

USA TODAY•October 8, 2019


PALM CITY, Fla. – A Florida man is accused of enticing an alligator to bite his arm and pouring beer into its mouth after his friend caught the reptile.

Timothy Kepke, 27, of Hobe Sound and Noah Osborne, 22, of Stuart were arrested Oct. 3. Each was charged with unlawfully taking an alligator, a felony.

According to a Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission report, a complaint was recieved in August about Kepke holding an alligator. A video apparently showed Kepke trying to get the alligator to bite his arm and giving beer to the reptile, after which, the alligator reacted aggressively. Officers said they went to Kepke's home on Sept. 17 and Kepke told them he was the person in the video.

Kepke told officers Osborne caught the reptile with his bare hands in Palm City on Aug. 26. He said they later released the gator alive.

Kepke also told officers he had had a couple of beers, but wasn't drunk when the incident happened.

A female friend was there when the incident happened, Kepke told the officers. On Sept. 21, officers spoke with the friend, who confirmed what Osborne and Kepke said.

The woman told officers she thought the reptile bit Kepke because of his actions.

Kepke and Osborne were arrested Oct. 3 and taken to the Martin County Jail, where they were later released on bond.

[Stephanie B]

Maybe the authorities in CT and RI can buy this poor woman a bus ticket to Florida, so she can live with her people.


Police and emergency responders called to a Frontage Road supermarket Wednesday found a woman seriously injured and trapped inside a trash compactor that had been activated. ...
[It was] reported that she had climbed into the compactor "which has a chute leading from inside the store into a commercial-sized garbage container outside the store."

It's reported that a store employee put cardboard into the chute, turned it on and then heard screaming.

[It's] reported police said that [supermarket] employees "had been looking for the woman, who they suspected of having stolen items that included beer from the store." And apparently "lost track of her. (https://patch.com/connecticut/newlondon/woman-seriously-injured-inside-activated-store-trash-compactor)"I did a quick search of the local paper's records. The chrushee is definitely a frequent flyer in local criminal courts.

[Sal Picante]

https://news.yahoo.com/florida-man-accused-giving-beer-000600555.html

Wait... Alligators aren't supposed to have beers?!?

Next, they're going to tell me not give beers to Manatees...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLCEUpIg8rE

[blues]

Florida Man (and men) need to remain apolitical. This is what happens when they venture out of their lane...


Florida men tied to Giuliani arrested on campaign charges

WASHINGTON (AP) — Two businessmen tied to efforts by President Donald Trump’s lawyer to get Ukraine to investigate former Vice President Joe Biden and his son were charged Thursday with campaign finance violations in the U.S. The charges relate to a $325,000 donation to a political action committee supporting Trump’s reelection.

Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, associates of Rudy Giuliani, were arrested on a four-count indictment that includes charges of conspiracy, making false statements to the Federal Election Commission and falsification of records. The men had key roles in Giuliani’s efforts to launch a Ukrainian corruption investigation against Biden and his son, Hunter .

The indictments mark the first criminal charges related to the Ukraine controversy. While they do not suggest wrongdoing by the president, they are likely to add fuel to the House impeachment inquiry, raising additional questions about whether those close to Trump and Giuliani sought to use their influence to affect U.S. foreign policy decisions.


https://apnews.com/c9125e9ccd894965bbf2860100366779

[Borderland]

Florida Man (and men) need to remain apolitical. This is what happens when they venture out of their lane...




https://apnews.com/c9125e9ccd894965bbf2860100366779

Oh crap. Does this mean Giuliani is going to do another interview on MSM?

[Borderland]

Give me more tomatoes or die.

https://komonews.com/news/offbeat/florida-teen-accused-of-attacking-family-over-tomatoes

[Wondering Beard]

This is just asking Florida man to say 'hold mah beer':

Hitman hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who tells police (https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/23/hitman-hires-hitman-hires-hitman-hires-hitman-hires-hitman-tells-police-10971438/)

[Hambo]

This is just asking Florida man to say 'hold mah beer':

Hitman hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who hires hitman who tells police (https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/23/hitman-hires-hitman-hires-hitman-hires-hitman-hires-hitman-tells-police-10971438/)

Impossible. If Florida Man has a weakness, it's hiring hitmen. He, or Florida Woman, can't get past hitman number 1.

Hired cop instead of hitman: https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/florida-man-former-escort-wife-hit-man

Two hitman failures: https://www.iheart.com/content/2019-09-11-florida-teen-tried-to-hire-hitman-to-kill-parents-police-say/

Don't hire hitman from jail: https://www.wtsp.com/article/news/crime/florida-man-tries-to-hire-hitman-to-kill-ex-from-jail-deputies-say/67-e580ae6b-52bc-4765-8bdf-a9ec7a08dcf0

Elderly Florida Man: https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan/status/1035710795252826112

The list goes on and on.

[Caballoflaco]

Impossible. If Florida Man has a weakness, it's hiring hitmen. He, or Florida Woman, can't get past hitman number 1.

Don't hire hitman from jail: https://www.wtsp.com/article/news/crime/florida-man-tries-to-hire-hitman-to-kill-ex-from-jail-deputies-say/67-e580ae6b-52bc-4765-8bdf-a9ec7a08dcf0

The list goes on and on.

I’m drinking my coffee and imagining a fight where the woman is screaming at her boyfriend and more angry at her ex for valuing her life as equal to a 2002 Ford Windstar Van than the fact he wanted to kill her; and it makes me chuckle.

[Greg]

Florida man dressed as spider-man spotted power washing roof

44003

[RoyGBiv]

Florida woman allegedly flees 2 car crashes, kills driver in 3rd crash (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/florida-woman-allegedly-flees-2-car-crashes-kills-driver-in-3rd-crash/ar-AAJ77W3?li=BBnbfcL)

[Hambo]

Florida Man likes explosions...

https://www.wptv.com/news/state/pinellas-county-deputies-investigating-explosion-to-bank-atm-in-oldsmar

[Rex G]

Florida Man likes explosions...

https://www.wptv.com/news/state/pinellas-county-deputies-investigating-explosion-to-bank-atm-in-oldsmar

Snow in Florida!

(Roll of receipt paper blasted to confetti.)

[blues]

Snow in Florida!

(Roll of receipt paper blasted to confetti.)

I was in New Hampshire x-c skiing when my wife called and told me it was snowing in South FL. The kind that falls from the sky, not the stuff I investigated.

Sorry I missed it.

[Rex G]

I was in New Hampshire x-c skiing when my wife called and told me it was snowing in South FL. The kind that falls from the sky, not the stuff I investigated.

Sorry I missed it.

It was one cold Thanksgiving morning, at the end of my night shift, when I ran one last call, an alarm at a bank ATM. Upon arrival, I saw white stuff all over the ground. Yep, some brain-child has blasted the ATM with a pipe bomb. The money was safe, but the rolls of receipt paper had been thoroughly shredded, and fallen, like snow.

[EdSeyer211]

All the weird news somehow ends up connected with the state of Florida. What the hell are people doing there?

[DC_P]

Even the dogs get into the act, although they have a long way to go to top the Florida man for buffoonery...

https://www.motor1.com/news/384044/florida-dog-driving-circle-hour/

[blues]

Even the dogs get into the act, although they have a long way to go to top the Florida man for buffoonery...

https://www.motor1.com/news/384044/florida-dog-driving-circle-hour/


Makes sense. The dog figured that going in reverse would be a quicker way to chase its tail and end up with the bonus of being able to lick its ass.

[DC_P]

The Duke Boys would be proud.

https://www.autoblog.com/2019/12/05/car-leaps-over-dealership-lot/

[Wyoming Shooter]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-eaten-by-alligator-meth-death

The Florida man who was found partially eaten by an alligator earlier this year died from a meth overdose — not a gator attack, as was speculated, according to autopsy results.

Michael Ford, 45, was found dead in a canal near Fort Meade, a city in Polk County roughly 60 miles east of Tampa, on June 27. Someone had reported seeing a piece of the man's body in a nearby alligator's mouth and called authorities...

[blues]

Another alligator needlessly hooked on drugs...

[Totem Polar]

Another alligator needlessly hooked on drugs...

https://thebrag.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Meth-Crocodile-768x435.jpg

[JDH]

Florida man dressed as spider-man spotted power washing roof

44003

How else is he gonna not fall off?

[blues]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-dad-accidental-shooting-conviction-daughter


A Florida dad who was convicted of accidentally firing a gun that killed a teenage girl is now charged in a second accidental shooting that critically wounded his 9-year-old daughter, police said.

Dustin Adkins, 34, is a convicted felon who is currently on probation for accidentally discharging a gun that went through a wall and killed a 13-year-old girl in December 2011, according to police.

Adkins was arrested Saturday and held without bail at the Brevard County Jail Complex, Florida Today reported. He is facing child neglect and felony weapons charges in connection with a shooting over the weekend that left his daughter in critical but stable condition, police said.

The terms of the case prohibited him from possessing guns, Orlando’s Fox 35 reported. But on Saturday, Adkins allegedly brought four children -- including his daughter -- into a wooded area in Titusville and let them play with four firearms, the report said.

Police say Adkins left the children unsupervised while he checked on a hog trap. When he returned, one of the children had accidentally shot his daughter, according to police.

Rather than calling 911, which could’ve sent an ambulance or advised him to go to a nearby fire station, Adkins transported the 9-year-old himself to a hospital on the other side of the city, Titusville Police Deputy Chief Todd Hutchinson said.

[Wondering Beard]

If that's not a Florida man story then I don't know what it is ;-)

Also, it may turn out to not be such a bad thing.

Vanilla Ice 'asks Trump to build his presidential library in trailer park' (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/vanilla-ice-trump-presidential-library-trailer-park-obama-a9258366.html)

[rayrevolver]

Hey Kool Aid Man!!!

https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/news/2019/12/19/sarasota-bradenton-international-airport-truck-crashes-through-wall/2696459001/


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7FT5z-tvtE

[Kanye Wyoming]

46614

[Stephanie B]

Vanilla Ice 'asks Trump to build his presidential library in trailer park'.

Do they have trailer parks in Moscow?

[ralph]

Do they have trailer parks in Moscow?

Sure. Right next to the Clinton Library..

[OlongJohnson]

Do they have trailer parks in Moscow?

I reckon. Isn't that (or was it Cosmow?) where Wazzu undergrads used to go to get lit up before pot became "legal" in WA?

Lost River

[Greg]

46672

Naked Florida Man Arrested After Punching a Deputy and Biting a Police Dog

https://newsbreakinglive.com/2020/01/01/naked-florida-man-arrested-after-punching-a-deputy-and-biting-a-police-dog/

Any drunken crime worth committing is worth committing nekkid I guess.

[ragnar_d]

Hey Kool Aid Man!!!

https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/news/2019/12/19/sarasota-bradenton-international-airport-truck-crashes-through-wall/2696459001/
When you get the extra insurance, but don't want to get hit with a late fee . . .

[Lost River]

I reckon. Isn't that (or was it Cosmow?) where Wazzu undergrads used to go to get lit up before pot became "legal" in WA?

Lost River

LOL!

I was never a U of I dude.

My degrees are from BSU and ISU.


A number of the people that I knew that went to U of I had to come down to the other universities to sober up and graduate..

:cool:

[HCM]

46788

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://cbs12.com/news/local/florida-man-threatens-to-kill-president-trump

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (CBS12) — A man with cream on his face, a towel over his head, and body covered with a shower curtain went on Facebook live where federal authorities say he threatened to kill President Trump.

[blues]

https://cbs12.com/news/local/florida-man-threatens-to-kill-president-trump

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (CBS12) — A man with cream on his face, a towel over his head, and body covered with a shower curtain went on Facebook live where federal authorities say he threatened to kill President Trump.

Priceless:


According to the affidavit, Lump said, "I shouldn't have did it in the first place."

Lump works as a security guard. Investigators said he had a Glock 9 mm semi-automatic pistol in his possession, which he's licensed to carry.

[Totem Polar]

I reckon. Isn't that (or was it Cosmow?) where Wazzu undergrads used to go to get lit up before pot became "legal" in WA?

Lost River

Moscow, ID had a legal drinking age of 19 until Reagan used highway funding to bring rogue states in line with 21+. WA was 21 at the time, so, yeah. Wazzu kids drank a fuckton of alcohol across the border.

I have some great stories around all that. I might whip a few up for coterie.

[Greg]

46990

[blues]

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/01/10/ex-mrs-florida-headed-prison-stealing-moms-social-security/4429789002/


Former Mrs. Florida headed to prison for stealing elderly mom’s Social Security checks

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/11/us/Marine-arrested-trump.html


Brandon M. Magnan claimed to be part of security for the president’s helicopter and was able to get through two checkpoints at Palm Beach International Airport, the authorities said.

Mr. Magnan is listed in the Florida Department of Law Enforcement Sex Offender registry for convictions in 2010 in military court related to abusive sexual conduct and sodomy.

[blues]

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/11/us/Marine-arrested-trump.html

Well, in Trump's case I guess turnabout would be fair play. ;)

[Jim Watson]

There is no light side to this one, but it does start "Florida Man."

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/01/10/florida-man-looking-someone-kill-hits-veteran-car/?__twitter_impression=true

A Florida man killed a 75-year-old veteran with his car Thursday, just to see what it would be like to end someone’s life.

Authorities have charged 21-year-old Justin Pennell of Hudson, Florida, with first-degree murder after confessing to intentionally running down an elderly veteran with his 2004 PT Cruiser “so he could see what it’s like to kill.” It was Pennell himself who called 911 to report the crime, after the impact rendered his vehicle inoperable.

[blues]

Florida man attempts to hide underwater from cops, gets arrested after coming up for air, police say (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-underwater-escape-police-arrested)


A Florida man attempted a “not so great escape” last week when he tried hiding from deputies underwater in a pond – an “action movie” stunt that officials easily foiled when he came up for air, authorities said.

Daniel Christopher Booth, 36, had warrants out for his arrest in Baker County for selling methamphetamine, the Suwanee County Sheriff’s Office wrote Wednesday on Facebook.

When a deputy attempted to arrest Booth at his job at a solar power plant, the sheriff’s office said, the 36-year-old ran away and dove into a pond.

“Now we can only assume that Mr. Booth has seen one too many action movies and thought he could hide from the K9 teams, from Suwannee CI and Mayo CI by hiding under the water in a pond,” the post read.

Deputies quickly spotted Booth when he came to the surface for air and made the arrest, according to the post.

Booth was transported “soaking wet” to the Suwanee County Jail, the sheriff’s office said, adding several comical hashtags, including “#NotRambo.”

[Greg]

How is hiding in any fresh water a good idea in Florida?

[blues]

How is hiding in any fresh water a good idea in Florida?

He's obviously a Gator fan.

[Greg]

47539

[Greg]

He's obviously a Gator fan.

It might become an all consuming interest.

[Stephanie B]

Florida man attempts to hide underwater from cops, gets arrested after coming up for air, police say (https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-underwater-escape-police-arrested)

Definitely appears to be a failed rocket scientist:

47547

[OlongJohnson]

It's not like he's in CA. I'm sure there are still plastic straws to be found in FL.

[blues]

From USA Today (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2020/01/22/donald-trump-supporter-boss-stabbed-death-florida-man-deputies/4539723002/):


Florida man stabs and kills Trump-loving boss in fight, deputies say
AP

ORLANDO, Fla. — A worker with anti-government views fatally stabbed his Trump-supporting boss at a highway construction site and placed an American flag next to the body after they got into a political argument, deputies in Florida said Tuesday.

Mason Toney, 28, was charged with first-degree murder for the killing of William Knight on Monday, according to an arrest affidavit from the Orange County Sheriff's Office.

Co-workers told investigators that Toney and Knight were friends outside of work despite their political differences. Knight was an “outspoken American" who was "pro-Donald Trump," while co-workers described Toney as “anti-government and very outspoken in his beliefs that the government is bad and out to get him," according to the arrest affidavit.

Workers at the Florida Turnpike construction site in metro Orlando told detectives that Knight had picked up Toney for work and that they had been driving to different job sites when they began arguing. After arriving at the Turnpike site, the workers heard Knight yelling for help by an excavator. They ran over and saw Toney standing over Knight, stabbing him with a trowel, according to the arrest affidavit.

[Kanye Wyoming]

The shit people will do to get a mention on P-F.


48242

https://www.wowktv.com/news/u-s-world/florida-troopers-find-narcotics-in-bag-labeled-bag-full-of-drugs/amp/

[nate89]

47539

48288

[blues]

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/florida-woman-accused-zipping-boyfriend-suitcase-leaving-him-die-n1143356


Florida woman accused of zipping boyfriend in suitcase, leaving him to die


A Florida woman who allegedly zipped her boyfriend in a suitcase and left him there to die was arrested Tuesday in his killing.

Sarah Boone, 42, of Winter Park, Florida, is under arrest for second degree-murder in the death Monday of Jorge Torres, Jr.

Boone said she was playing a game of "hide-n-seek" with Torres when she zipped him into a suitcase, thinking it would be funny, according to a report by the Orange County Sheriff's Office. Boone and Torres had allegedly been drinking alcohol, and she said she went upstairs while Torres still in the suitcase and passed out.

Waking up to her cellphone ringing multiple times, Boone said she realized Torres was still in the suitcase, where she found him unresponsive, according to the report. She called 911, and emergency responders who came to the home confirmed Torres had died.

The sheriff's office said Boone's statements have been "inconsistent" and that on cellphone footage Torres can be heard screaming for help in the suitcase while Boone chides him.

Torres yells out Boone's name, asking for help, to which she replies, "For everything you've done to me. F--- you," apparently laughing, the police report said.

"I can't f---ing breathe, seriously," Torres shouts from the suitcase, the report said.

"Yeah, that's what you do when you choke me," Boone said, adding, "Oh, that's what I feel like when you cheat on me," according to the sheriff's report.

The footage also shows Boone telling a pleading Torres to "shut the f--- up," and shows the suitcase moving as Torres apparently tries to get out of it.

[mmc45414]

47547
I woulda been really disappointed if Florida Man had a shirt on. Don't think Florida Man owns no shirt!

[Coyotesfan97]

I woulda been really disappointed if Florida Man had a shirt on. Don't think Florida Man owns no shirt!

Felony warrant tried to hide K9 found him:cool:

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-arrested-same-day-released-prison-1489415

Florida Man Arrested on the Same Day He's Released From Prison After Gun and Bullets Found in Car He Was Riding In

A Florida man was arrested on the same day he was released from prison, when he was found riding in a car that had a gun and bullets concealed within it. He was also seating two unsecured toddlers on his lap while traveling.

[DC_P]

https://www.autoblog.com/2020/03/13/florida-man-street-racing-teens-crash-video/

[peterb]

From Tam’s page, Florida Man in office: https://booksbikesboomsticks.blogspot.com/2020/03/florida-man-in-office.html

A local elected official, adding that the himself had been an EMT, relates here that "one of the foremost doctors to have studied" it explained on OANN, "the fastest growing news source" and "the new Fox News," that you can cure coronavirus by blowing a hair dryer up your nose.

[RJ]

Guy ran for Governor. Geebus.

“Former Mayor of Tallahassee and 2018 Florida gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum admitted that he "had too much to drink" in a Miami hotel room where police were called to deal with a possible drug overdose on March 12.
Travis Dyson, a friend of Gillum's, was in bad shape when another friend, Aldo Mejias, arrived at his room in the Mondrian South Beach hotel at 11 pm. Before Mejias called 911, Dyson collapsed on the bed and started vomiting. Gillum was throwing up too.”

https://www.celebstoner.com/news/drug-news/2020/03/14/andrew-gillum-miami-hotel-incident/?ref=33&ref_type=tab

[Kanye Wyoming]

50509

[JTQ]

Guy ran for Governor. Geebus.

“Former Mayor of Tallahassee and 2018 Florida gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum ....”

And lost by all of 0.4%. Yikes!

[Hambo]

And lost by all of 0.4%. Yikes!

That's how we roll in a key election state. We will destroy you all.

[Greg]

50521

[Stephanie B]

Auburndale Florida Man Arrested During Traffic Stop And Found To Be Naked With String Tied To His Genitals (https://www.dailyridge.com/en/2020/03/22/auburndale-florida-man-arrested-during-traffic-stop-and-found-to-be-naked-with-string-tied-to-his-genitals/)

I can't even.....

[blues]

I can't even.....

He probably didn't want to forget something...













...like putting on clothes.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Does Florida official count?

https://www.policeone.com/coronavirus-covid-19/articles/fla-official-first-responders-should-take-one-for-the-team-with-covid-19-2HQfkM7c9Tw1Mo8A/

[UNK]

Florida man spits on LEO and claims to have Chinese Coronavirus.


https://www.breitbart.com/crime/2020/04/01/police-florida-man-spits-police-officers-face-says-coronavirus/

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/hawaii-mayor-arrested-florida-man-covidiot-70035164


Hawaii mayor to arrested Florida man: 'Covidiot'
A mayor in Hawaii has a choice word for the Florida man accused of trying to flout Hawaii’s traveler quarantine: “covidiot.”

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-man-coronavirus-quarantine-rules-cover-wifes-murder/story?id=70143644&cid=clicksource_4380645_2_heads_hero_live_twopack_ hed


A Florida man is under arrest for allegedly killing his wife and attempting to cover up the crime by using her cellphone to send text messages that appeared to come from her, telling family and friends that she was in quarantine after contracting the coronavirus, police said.

[UNK]

Florida Man threatens to shoot unmasked shoppers

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/04/florida-man-arrested-threatening-shoot-unmasked-people-publix-grocery-stores/

52198

[blues]

"Who was that masked man?"

"I dunno, but I'd sure like to thank him."

[UNK]

"Who was that masked man?"

"I dunno, but I'd sure like to thank him."

I wonder how many generations dont get that. Every show we watched as kids would cause pearl clutching and endless fodder for msm in this age. Not to mention all the labels assigned 😂

[blues]

I wonder how many generations dont get that. Every show we watched as kids would cause pearl clutching and endless fodder for msm in this age. Not to mention all the labels assigned 😂

Our TV shows of the 50's and 60's: cowboys, detectives, military...are dangers to tender psyches. But somehow the violent video games (and music) of today get a pass.

Beats me...:confused:

[UNK]

Our TV shows of the 50's and 60's: cowboys, detectives, military...are dangers to tender psyches. But somehow the violent video games (and music) of today get a pass.

Beats me...:confused:

And we werent allowed to sit in front of the tv for hours on end either.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/04/16/court-florida-man-stood-his-ground-in-deputy-shooting/

Florida man stood his ground in deputy shooting


The appellate court found that DeRosset, whose attorneys argued that he did not know he was firing at deputies, was entitled to protect his home against what he thought was a threat.

Prosecutors and Brevard County sheriff’s investigators said DeRossett opened fire at deputies who were arresting his niece on a prostitution charge.

[Clusterfrack]

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/04/16/court-florida-man-stood-his-ground-in-deputy-shooting/

Florida man stood his ground in deputy shooting

"Ellis, a convicted prostitute known as The Cougar ... suffered minor gunshot injuries, reports show"

https://hips.hearstapps.com/vidthumb/60a1533a-ecaa-447b-8e34-2da3e248b5c4/60a1533a-ecaa-447b-8e34-2da3e248b5c4_image.jpg

[blues]

"Ellis, a convicted prostitute known as The Cougar ... suffered minor gunshot injuries, reports show"

Better call PETA. That's animal cruelty right there.

[DC_P]

Fla. man hid face with underwear to steal Walmart electronics (https://www.policeone.com/bizarre/articles/sheriff-fla-man-hid-face-with-underwear-to-steal-walmart-electronics-UfnfV7uPLXmbWKkm/?utm_source=PoliceOne+Member+Newsletter&utm_campaign=4821041d47-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_04_24_08_05&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ca044a84ea-4821041d47-61393463)

[blues]

Fla. man hid face with underwear to steal Walmart electronics (https://www.policeone.com/bizarre/articles/sheriff-fla-man-hid-face-with-underwear-to-steal-walmart-electronics-UfnfV7uPLXmbWKkm/?utm_source=PoliceOne+Member+Newsletter&utm_campaign=4821041d47-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2020_04_24_08_05&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ca044a84ea-4821041d47-61393463)

Crime spree skids to a smelly end.

[RJ]

I sweartagod this wasn't me, but it took place a few miles away:

https://iontb.com/man-wedges-vehicle-between-railings-of-pedestrian-walkway-attempting-to-drive-over-dunedin-causeway/

Crews from Dunedin Fire Rescue and the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office responded to reports of a vehicle crash on Causeway Boulevard at approximately 7:10 p.m. on Sunday, April 26, 2020.

The male driver of a Subaru Outback was traveling eastbound on Causeway Boulevard and entered onto the pedestrian walkway close to the entrance of Honeymoon Island State Park. He continued to travel on the walkway as other motorists honked their horns and pedestrians attempted to get the man’s attention.

[Stephanie B]

"Ellis, a convicted prostitute known as The Cougar ... suffered minor gunshot injuries, reports show."

Johns in FL need to up their game.

[Caballoflaco]

I sweartagod this wasn't me, but it took place a few miles away:

https://iontb.com/man-wedges-vehicle-between-railings-of-pedestrian-walkway-attempting-to-drive-over-dunedin-causeway/

Crews from Dunedin Fire Rescue and the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office responded to reports of a vehicle crash on Causeway Boulevard at approximately 7:10 p.m. on Sunday, April 26, 2020.

The male driver of a Subaru Outback was traveling eastbound on Causeway Boulevard and entered onto the pedestrian walkway close to the entrance of Honeymoon Island State Park. He continued to travel on the walkway as other motorists honked their horns and pedestrians attempted to get the man’s attention.

Here’s the video, and it’s about what I imagined.


https://youtu.be/QNl6ngPQ1uU

[blues]

He might be safer in New England.

[RJ]

Almost certainly a snowbird or recent retiree.

That area near Honeymoon Island is rife with RV parks, small cottages and smack dab in the middle of retirement central, North of Clearwater Beach.

It *was* Sunday afternoon, so alcohol may have been involved lol...

[Greg]

Almost certainly a snowbird or recent retiree.

Well, he’s wearing clothes so obviously he doesn’t know how to #FloridaMan

[Arbninftry]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/tattooed-florida-man-allegedly-adbucted-drugged-beat-victim-camper


I am not sure, but WTF was any sane person thinking, by getting this dude to pick you up!?!?!?!?

[Stephanie B]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/tattooed-florida-man-allegedly-adbucted-drugged-beat-victim-camper

I am not sure, but WTF was any sane person thinking, by getting this dude to pick you up!?!?!?!?

There's a guy for whom they ought to just accept the inevitable and send him to the Crossbar Hilton for 30-life.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Pedestrian walks are dangerous. When I lived in Oregon, they built a nice big bridge over the Columbia. A guy was going to run on it (Oregon loves runners) and was running on the roadway. Well traffic was too much for him, so he hopped over the side to the walk. Well, the walk was next to road at the start of the bridge. In the middle of the bridge it was 60 feet down. Whee! Didn't make it, IIRC.

Getting stuck - driving to Austin on IH-35. It is jammed as usual. Texans are known for bailing of the highways through the grass to get to the access roads or turning around on the medians. Mr. Pickup decides to do the latter. Well, the median is curved so in he goes. Ends up with the back and front bumpers holding the truck in the air with wheels spinning in the atmosphere. Lady companion was loudly explaining physics to him.

[Malamute]

Jacksonville Woman Explains Why Beaches Opened Up Today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJq7sv-QGZg&feature=youtu.be

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/armed-man-fatally-shot-police-florida-restaurant-70520901?cid=clicksource_4380645_13_hero_headlines _headlines_hed



Officers had responded to a 911 call about a man waving around a gun at the restaurant. Investigators believe Ferguson may have intentionally created a dangerous situation, which forced officers to engage him, the news release said.

[DC_P]

Fla. man dives into Bass Pro Shop fish tank, posts video on Facebook (https://www.policeone.com/bizarre/articles/police-fla-man-dives-into-bass-pro-shop-fish-tank-posts-video-on-facebook-H1Nb7CxfFzdUpZ3r/)

[Wondering Beard]

1266114178072350720

[Greg]

If that dude doesn't own a beer helmet I will buy him one.

[Stephanie B]

If that dude doesn't own a beer helmet I will buy him one.

The helmet's only function would be to hold the beers. There's nothing there to protect.

[randyho]

Jacksonville Woman Explains Why Beaches Opened Up Today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJq7sv-QGZg&feature=youtu.be
A month later, this remains as delicious as it was the first time it put my keyboard at risk.


https://youtu.be/ZJq7sv-QGZg

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-without-mask-assaults-walmart-staff-being-denied-entry-1512446

Florida Man Without Mask Assaults Walmart Staff For Being Denied Entry

A viral video shows a middle-aged man defying Walmart's mask policy in Florida, as he enters the store without a face covering, barges past a security guard, pushes the staff member and then falls to the ground.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://www.newsweek.com/florida-man-fresno-bar-racist-video-jason-wood-1516878


Florida resident Jason Wood was filmed making a string of racist comments after being cut off at the Out of the Barrel Taproom in Fig Garden Village in Fresno.

Does it count if Florida Man goes to CA to do it?

https://people.com/human-interest/fla-man-shouted-mask-costco-loses-job/

Goes nuts at Costco, flexes, loses job - not Jake at State Farm. Note the 1776 T-shirt. Makes a statement. But Pink Polos work better!


“You’re harassing me,” the man says, before growing aggressive and shouting as he comes closer to the person filming while flexing his upper body in a threatening manner. “I feel threatened. Back off. Threaten me again. Back the f— up, put your f— phone down.”

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/walmart-mask-gun-confrontation-florida-man-draws-on-shopper-who-confronted-him-about-wearing-a-mask-video/

Walmart Mask/Gun Incident: Florida Man Draws on Shopper Who Confronted Him About Wearing a Mask


An unmasked man pulled a gun on a masked shopper and threatened to kill him during an apparent confrontation over masks at a Florida Walmart store, sheriff’s officials said.

The Royal Palm Beach store’s security video shows the unmasked man pushing an older man in a wheelchair through the store on Saturday afternoon, the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office said in a Facebook post. Sheriff’s officials said they have identified the man, who is cooperating with detectives. They have not released his name.

The man in the wheelchair pulled a red neckerchief over his mouth in the store.

The video shows a shopper wearing a mask approach the pair and exchange words. That’s when the unmasked man gives the shopper the middle finger before pulling a handgun from his waistband, the sheriff’s office said. The unmasked man made a death threat before leaving the store.

Be sure not to wear your mask when you do such thing! It's your right! Makes for better video!

[Old Man Winter]

Florida man fatally shoots Burger King worker over drive thru delay.

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne-orlando-burger-king-colonial-shooting-20200802-a4sm4spnqza7fdfsvv26ozkblm-story.html

[DC_P]

Florida man clings to semi truck hood for 9 miles on freeway (https://www.autoblog.com/2020/08/03/florida-man-clings-to-semi-truck-hood-turnpike/)

[blues]

Florida man clings to semi truck hood for 9 miles on freeway (https://www.autoblog.com/2020/08/03/florida-man-clings-to-semi-truck-hood-turnpike/)

https://www.al.com/resizer/y-a8As5KayusAoF7Fytmaq82x7k=/450x0/smart/cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/advancelocal/Y4HP6YF2LVCB3CWCJVDYMW3Q6A.jpg

[Hambo]

1266114178072350720


Florida man clings to semi truck hood for 9 miles on freeway (https://www.autoblog.com/2020/08/03/florida-man-clings-to-semi-truck-hood-turnpike/)

These are true Florida Men! Sadly, our local news only reports Covid19, schools and Covid19, weather and Covid19, dogs/kids doing good and Covid19, so we don't see these stories anymore. I'm counting on all of you to keep me informed.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8692319/Florida-man-charged-attacking-officer-escorting-Rand-Paul-White-House.html

Florida man is charged with attacking a police officer who was escorting Rand Paul from the White House after Donald Trump's closing night address to the RNC

[RJ]

Awkward.


https://youtu.be/kg2tcPv1N38

[Hambo]

Florida Woman this time.

https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2020/09/08/naked-lady-swipes-intimate-item-naughty-adventure-fort-pierce/5714808002/

[BobLoblaw]

Florida Woman this time.

https://www.tcpalm.com/story/news/blogs/off-the-beat/2020/09/08/naked-lady-swipes-intimate-item-naughty-adventure-fort-pierce/5714808002/

My favorite part: "The alleged naked lady is not to be confused with the Barenaked Ladies, a Canadian band perhaps best known for the 1998 song “One Week.”"
Like a shitty college paper when you're out of material but the word count is out of reach.

[Hambo]

My favorite part: "The alleged naked lady is not to be confused with the Barenaked Ladies, a Canadian band perhaps best known for the 1998 song “One Week.”"
Like a shitty college paper when you're out of material but the word count is out of reach.

No doubt the writer went to school in FL. You should see the misspellings on the headers of live news. We could have a whole FL thread on that.

[HCM]

60236

[RJ]

60236

Heh. I should probably get some of that here locally in Tampa...:)

[Hambo]

NY man is helping FL man! Yes, it's true. Mike Bloomberg likes Florida Man Felons so much, he's going to help them vote. Thanks for nothing, NY.

https://www.wptv.com/news/state/bloomberg-raises-millions-to-help-florida-felons-vote

[blues]

NY man is helping FL man! Yes, it's true. Mike Bloomberg likes Florida Man Felons so much, he's going to help them vote. Thanks for nothing, NY.

https://www.wptv.com/news/state/bloomberg-raises-millions-to-help-florida-felons-vote


Everything's coming up roses!

[DC_P]

Dashcam shows Florida man shooting through his own windshield at another car (https://www.autoblog.com/2020/09/29/florida-driver-fires-gun-through-windshield/)


https://youtu.be/VZlTxuNGxIM

[blues]

Real men of genius!

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Extremely stable men of genius.

[Hambo]

Dashcam shows Florida man shooting through his own windshield at another car (https://www.autoblog.com/2020/09/29/florida-driver-fires-gun-through-windshield/)

The only shocking part is that people from other states still come here on vacation.

[blues]

The only shocking part is that people from other states still come here on vacation.

Where else do you get free range time on the interstate?

[RJ]

Dashcam shows Florida man shooting through his own windshield at another car (https://www.autoblog.com/2020/09/29/florida-driver-fires-gun-through-windshield/)


https://youtu.be/VZlTxuNGxIM

I’m not surprised. The percentage of dickheads in the area of 417 down to Kissimmee is very high. I hate driving in Orlando. The tourists have no clue and the locals are in a hurry. It’s a bad combination.

[ragnar_d]

Until I noticed the toll booth design and road signs, I thought that fuckery occurred in Broward/Dade because I definitely saw shit that went down like that when I was down there, sans the gun play. At least there wasn’t gun play when it happened around me.

Looks like a slam-dunk case of “When assholes collide...”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ragnar_d]

I’m not surprised. The percentage of dickheads in the area of 417 down to Kissimmee is very high. I hate driving in Orlando. The tourists have no clue and the locals are in a hurry. It’s a bad combination.

Yup. I remember that craziness from living there for 6 years, though not much craziness occurred around an Arizona Beige Metallic Crown Victoria (and that thing was invisible on the Turnpike and I-95 . . . I miss that couch on wheels). I stuck around the east side of Orange County and over in Brevard & Volusia mostly. After I moved to Alabama, I had to recalibrate myself to drive in a more civilized manner.

Then I moved to Miami for 2 years, started driving like a Miamian, then had to recalibrate again when I moved back to the civilized world again.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Hambo]

Do I have to post everything in this thread? A 7 million dollar operation smuggling flying squirrels.

https://abc-7.com/news/crime/2020/10/19/7-charged-in-million-dollar-florida-flying-squirrel-trafficking-operation/

[Greg]

Dashcam shows Florida man shooting through his own windshield at another car (https://www.autoblog.com/2020/09/29/florida-driver-fires-gun-through-windshield/)


https://youtu.be/VZlTxuNGxIM

Worst Uber driver ever!

[JTQ]

"Pensacola woman, 70, shot man who refused her advances at retirement home"

https://www.pnj.com/story/news/crime/2020/10/16/escambia-county-sheriffs-office-yagaunda-buschbaum-accused-shooting-man-retirement-home/3685375001/

[peterb]

Visiting in northern climates....
--------------------------------

...Two hikers had gotten lost on Wednesday November 18, 2020 and after spending a long, cold, and wet night in the Pemi Wilderness they located a hiking trail shortly after day break.

...The hiker, who was identified as Omar Lewis from Fort Lauderdale, FL,....

The hikers did not have any maps, lights, food, warm clothing, or a plan on what they intended to hike. The temperatures dropped into the low teens and it had snowed during the night.

https://nhfishgame.com/2020/11/20/hiker-suffers-medical-emergency-after-getting-lost-in-the-pemi-wilderness-lincoln/

[UNK]

Do I have to post everything in this thread? A 7 million dollar operation smuggling flying squirrels.

https://abc-7.com/news/crime/2020/10/19/7-charged-in-million-dollar-florida-flying-squirrel-trafficking-operation/

From reading the article alligators were involved too. Why the hell alligators are protected is beyond me.

[Gater]

Did we do this already? Yeah, that's only a yungin but dude is 74. Florida Man FTW.


https://youtu.be/JBw7oi0tPNU

Later/Gater

[Borderland]

From reading the article alligators were involved too. Why the hell alligators are protected is beyond me.

Alligators gotta eat same as worms.

[Hambo]

Q-How much will a hooker cost you in FL?
A-$5 and some Pringles.

https://www.actionnewsjax.com/news/local/jso-woman-shot-after-performing-sexual-act-for-5-and-pringles-potato-chips/908063508/

[Stephanie B]

Drunk in Key West stole a "tiki hut boat". (https://twitter.com/USCGSoutheast/status/1349446406122123268)

[Wyoming Shooter]

I helped "un-stuck" his rental Jeep Cherokee from a level, mostly dry parking spot. He had the parking brake on. Yup.

[HCM]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/revolting/scissor-attack-plea-286071

Man Will Cop To Mutilating His Wife's Lover
Prosecution wants assailant to serve 30 years behind bars


FEBRUARY 23--The Florida Man charged with mutilating his wife’s bound lover is set to plead guilty to the scissor attack, though he claims to have “blacked out” during the incident and cannot recall any details of the bloody offense, which left the victim with a severed penis.

Alex Bonilla, 51, is scheduled to plead guilty Thursday to multiple felony charges in connection with the horrifying July 2019 assault inside the victim’s mobile home in Bell, a town 40 miles west of Gainesville.

Bonilla, who has been jailed since his arrest, lived across the street from the victim, who is married with two young daughters. Bonilla, a father of five who emigrated from El Salvador in 1990, resided with his 35-year-old second wife and the couple’s three young children.

Prosecutors will ask a Circuit Court judge to sentence Bonilla to 30 years in prison, according to a State Attorney’s Office spokesperson. Bonilla has been charged with kidnapping, burglary, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

A pre-sentence report filed last month by the Florida Department of Corrections provides a harrowing account of Bonilla’s attack, which came two months after he caught his wife having sex with the victim.

In an interview with a probation officer, Bonilla said that he met with the victim in the man’s home and told him, “You need to stay away from my wife and leave her alone.” Bonilla claimed that a scuffle ensued, with the victim tackling him. “The defendant stated he then blacked out and doesn’t remember anything from that point until” his arrest later that day at the dairy where he had worked for nearly 20 years.

The victim, however, provided a gruesome, detailed recollection of the premeditated attack that began when Bonilla showed up at his home (seen below) with a 9mm handgun tucked under his arm. “I came here to fix something,” Bonilla said, according to the victim.

After accompanying the victim into a bedroom, Bonilla first threatened to strike the man with a metal pipe he removed from his pants. Bonilla then tied the victim’s hands behind his back, saying, “You are not going to die, but you are going to have something to remember this for your whole life.” Bonilla then pulled down the man’s shorts, saying, “This is normal, you will not die today.”

After putting on a pair of gloves, Bonilla tied a rubber band at the base of the victim’s penis “several times to cut off the circulation.” He then took out a pair of scissors and said, “This is for all the women you have been having relationships with.” As blood spurted everywhere, Bonilla cut off three-quarters of the victim’s penis. Before departing with the severed organ, Bonilla warned the victim, “Don’t act this way, this is normal. And if you try to call the police, I will be out in two months and I will come back and finish this.”



The victim said that when Bonilla opened the bedroom door to leave, he saw that his oldest daughter “was laying on the ground by the bottom of the door watching through the crack between the floor and the bottom of the door.”

The victim, whose penis was not recovered, told the probation officer that, “urinating and the ability to have sex with his wife has been messed up for the rest of his life.” He added that doctors have told him he “will never have any sensation in his penis again.”

[blues]

^^^^^

Having that story covered in a periodical called "the smoking gun" just adds insult to injury. ;)

[Borderland]

From reading the article alligators were involved too. Why the hell alligators are protected is beyond me.

They're a valuable asset for the tourist industry. They don't kill very many people anyway. 8 in the last 11 years.

[Greg]

Did we do this already? Yeah, that's only a yungin but dude is 74. Florida Man FTW.


https://youtu.be/JBw7oi0tPNU

Later/Gater

That guy is a stud. Kept the stogie going the whole time.

[Kanye Wyoming]

Australia's pretty tight with the COVID travel restrictions. Gotta admit I'm impressed that Florida Man was able to get in.

68094

[Hot Sauce]

This is not only very Florida man, but very Miami, a specific subset of Florida man. Is no place holy? Not even a Polly Tropical?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwlJCm-pUWE

[blues]

^^^^

Pollo Tropical, Kickin' in Your Grill


(You might have to be from Miami or know their ads to get that)

[psalms144.1]

Having lived in FL for a total of about seven out of the last 56 years (including three years not very far from the site of that robbery), I can say that Pollo Tropical is about the only thing I really miss (and some authentic Cuban coffee). Neither is good enough to move back to Miami, or even visit, IMHO.

[blues]

Having lived in FL for a total of about seven out of the last 56 years (including three years not very far from the site of that robbery), I can say that Pollo Tropical is about the only thing I really miss (and some authentic Cuban coffee). Neither is good enough to move back to Miami, or even visit, IMHO.

17 years myself, and a veteran of many Pollo Tropicals. (And gallons of Cuban coffee.)

[Sal Picante]

Having lived in FL for a total of about seven out of the last 56 years (including three years not very far from the site of that robbery), I can say that Pollo Tropical is about the only thing I really miss (and some authentic Cuban coffee). Neither is good enough to move back to Miami, or even visit, IMHO.

Homestead Training Center was awesome.

[blues]

Homestead Training Center was awesome.

Working at Homestead AFB had its moments as well...especially on our Black Hawks.

[Wendell]

Joshua James, 24, was arrested Monday and charged with assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill after Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation officials say he threw a live 3.5-foot alligator through a Palm Beach County Wendy’s drive-thru window in October. James’ mother, Linda James, told WPTV that her son’s actions were a “stupid prank.” “He does stuff like this because he thinks it’s funny,” she said.
https://www.jacksonville.com/article/20160209/NEWS/801242930

[JohnO]

Sex with a Unicorn! A new low for Florida Man?


Psych Eval For Accused Stuffed Doll Assailant
Floridian, 22, violated unicorn and Olaf from "Frozen" at Target

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/revolting/olaf-psych-eval-376215

[Stephanie B]

Sex with a Unicorn! A new low for Florida Man?

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/revolting/olaf-psych-eval-376215

The conversations between the perp and his cellmates should be interesting.

[willie]

He will be released because there is nothing wrong with him. :confused:

[blues]

https://weartv.com/news/local/florida-elementary-teacher-arrested-for-soliciting-traveling-to-meet-2-year-old



PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. (CBS12) — A 27-year-old teacher at Grove Park Elementary School is behind bars for soliciting and traveling to meet a 2-year-old, the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said.

Xavier Donte Alexander, who teaches fourth grade, was arrested Thursday and will appear in court Friday morning. According to Alexander's LinkedIn profile, he's been teaching at Grove Park for six months and has been an employee for the Palm Beach County School District since 2012.


Detectives learned through an investigation that Alexander is also a babysitter on Care.com and other nanny websites, according to the sheriff's office. Detectives believe there may be more victims.

Anyone who thinks their child may be a victim is asked to call Detective Malory Wildove at 561-688-4079, WildoveM@pbso.org or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-458-TIPS

[Ichiban]

^^^^^ I hope what I hear about pedophiles in prison is true.

[Wondering Beard]

^^^^^ I hope what I hear about pedophiles in prison is true.

I'm no expert and from what I understand (I've dealt with a few lawyers specializing in crimes against children, so it's just talk), it isn't .. not exactly. While there may be a substantial segment of the prison population who viscerally dislike child molesters, most of the prison population is concerned about whether the new guy is tough or weak. A lot of child molesters aren't exactly poster boys for the words "Do Not touch, Lethal", some are. As a result, most child molesters will suffer for being weak and being a child molesters, while some will never get touched.

[DC_P]

https://weartv.com/news/local/florida-elementary-teacher-arrested-for-soliciting-traveling-to-meet-2-year-old

It is really hard to fathom how someone can be so demented as to find a 2 yr old attractive. I don't know why I continue to be surprised by the human race's lack of humanity.

[Stephanie B]

^^^^^ I hope what I hear about pedophiles in prison is true.

Depends on the guy, I suppose. But back in the day, Ohio had a prison that had a pod or wing or something made up of child molesters, or there were enough of them there to form their own gang.

the importance of that was that if a defendant was a child molester and pled guilty, they'd be sent to that prison. If the defendant went to trial and lost, he'd be sent off to genpop elsewhere. A lot of them took the deal.

[DC_P]

Fla. deputies find drug-filled Easter eggs during traffic stop (https://www.police1.com/bizarre/articles/fla-deputies-find-drug-filled-easter-eggs-during-traffic-stop-AWFYFxeHpUpPWW2w/?utm_source=Police1+Roll+Call&utm_campaign=4f2844f592-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2021_04_05_05_30&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_ca044a84ea-4f2844f592-61393463)

[SiriusBlunder]

At this wedding, the bride and groom were the crashers (https://apnews.com/article/bride-groom-crashers-illegal-wedding-130c7270d0d206f61e08f1b197779815)


SOUTHWEST RANCHES, Fla. (AP) — Courtney Wilson and Shenita Jones invited family and friends to their “dream home and estate” for their weekend wedding celebration: the ceremony Saturday, brunch on Sunday.

There was just one problem: The couple didn’t own the 16,300-square-foot (1,500-square-meter) mansion and didn’t have permission to use it.

The suburban Fort Lauderdale estate had everything: a bowling alley, swimming pool with a waterfall, hot tub, tennis courts, a gazebo and an 800-foot (240-meter) bar. Wilson said it was God’s plan that the couple marry there.

But despite what the invitation inferred, the actual owner, Nathan Finkel, never gave them permission to hold the festivities there. He was stunned when Wilson showed up Saturday morning to set up and he called police, according to the South Florida SunSentinel.

[Clusterfrack]

Florida Man doing volunteer security for BLM/Antifa in Portland... Other sources indicate he was also wearing a kilt.

https://katu.com/news/local/florida-man-arrested-with-multiple-guns-on-trimet-bus-portland-police-say

[blues]

Florida Man doing volunteer security for BLM/Antifa in Portland... Other sources indicate he was also wearing a kilt.

https://katu.com/news/local/florida-man-arrested-with-multiple-guns-on-trimet-bus-portland-police-say

Florida man, kilt on da streets? Say it isn't so.

[Clusterfrack]

^^^Hahahhaha!

[Greg]

Sweet Hi Point :cool:

[Trooper224]

Sweet Hi Point :cool:

And a butterfly knife. Florida Opertor as fuck.

[Amp]

A 10-year-old Miami boy was shot after his father took him on a faux drive-by shooting with a paintball gun — and a frightened homeowner returned fire with real bullets, according to authorities.

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/florida-boy-shot-dad-paintball-drive-by

[RoyGBiv]

A 10-year-old Miami boy was shot after his father took him on a faux drive-by shooting with a paintball gun — and a frightened homeowner returned fire with real bullets, according to authorities.

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/florida-boy-shot-dad-paintball-drive-by

I'd like to say "unbelievable", but, it ain't. Dad needs prison time.


Neighbors, meanwhile, told WSVN that they saw the duo driving around with ski masks on.
"The guy riding around with kids in the car with their ski masks and hoodies on, and they were apparently shooting at people," resident Maurice Adams said.

[Amp]

Adding insult to injury:

The youngster, who was not publicly identified, was then run over by his father’s van after being shot and losing his balance, police said.

[blues]

It's the perfect father and son bonding story. Brings a tear to my eye...

[GearFondler]

It's the perfect father and son bonding story. Brings a tear to my eye...No... The perfect story has the father being shot and run over.

[blues]

No... The perfect story has the father being shot and run over.

Maybe in the sequel...

[Stephanie B]

It's the perfect father and son bonding story. Brings a tear to my eye...

This assumes that the dad is now out on bond...

[ccmdfd]

Florida Man coming to my area!

https://www.wect.com/2021/06/23/netflix-series-florida-man-expected-be-filmed-north-carolina/

WILMINGTON, N.C. (WECT) - Florida Man, starring Edgar Ramirez (American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, The Undoing), appears to be coming to North Carolina.

According to the Wilmington Regional Film Commission website, the project is listed as in pre-production status.

Little information is available about the Netflix project, which tells the story of an “ex-cop returns to his home state of Florida to find a mobster’s runaway girlfriend, what should’ve been a quick gig turns into a wild odyssey.”

According to IMDB, the show was created by Donald Todd, who was a consulting producer on Sleepy Hollow, a FOX TV show that was filmed in Wilmington in 2014 and 2015.



This is the latest project in what is shaping up to be a busy year for the film industry in Wilmington.

FOX’s Our Kind of People, Amazon’s The Summer I Turned Pretty and One Summer are also listed as in pre-production in Wilmington.

Starz series Hightown, a Netflix film Along for the Ride, a Blumhouse thriller starring Ethan Hawke The Black Phone and I.S.S., a science fiction thriller, wrapped production earlier this year.

Copyright 2021 WECT. All rights reserved.

[DC_P]

Cops stop Fla. man from throwing live gator onto roof (https://www.police1.com/bizarre/articles/cops-stop-fla-man-from-throwing-live-gator-onto-roof-Wm0kfvGjgAKfUJNF/?utm_source=Police1&utm_campaign=ebcffdd288-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2021_07_16_05_52&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5584e6920b-ebcffdd288-84334020)

DAYTONA BEACH SHORES, Fla. — A Florida man told police officers he was “teaching it a lesson" when he tried to throw a live alligator he had stolen from a miniature golf course onto the roof of a beachside cocktail lounge, authorities said.

[HeavyDuty]

Did we ever do this oldie-but-goodie?

https://torontosun.com/2014/12/31/florida-couple-trapped-in-unlocked-closet-for-two-days


It took two days for a Florida man who thought he was trapped in an unlocked janitor's closet with a woman to call 911 on his cellphone...

[Wendell]

According to court documents, on July 11, 2021, deputies from the Lake County Sheriff’s Office responded to a burglary at a 10-acre business property in Mount Dora. Deputies deployed a law enforcement drone to assist with the outdoor search, only to have the drone destroyed by gunfire from a neighboring property. When deputies responded to that location, they confronted Wendell Doyle Goney (51, Mount Dora), who acknowledged that he had just shot down the drone with a .22 caliber rifle. As a convicted felon, Goney is prohibited from possessing firearms and ammunition under federal law.
https://www.atf.gov/news/pr/lake-county-convicted-felon-indicted-illegal-firearm-possession-and-destruction-aircraft

[blues]

According to court documents, on July 11, 2021, deputies from the Lake County Sheriff’s Office responded to a burglary at a 10-acre business property in Mount Dora. Deputies deployed a law enforcement drone to assist with the outdoor search, only to have the drone destroyed by gunfire from a neighboring property. When deputies responded to that location, they confronted Wendell Doyle Goney (51, Mount Dora), who acknowledged that he had just shot down the drone with a .22 caliber rifle. As a convicted felon, Goney is prohibited from possessing firearms and ammunition under federal law.
https://www.atf.gov/news/pr/lake-county-convicted-felon-indicted-illegal-firearm-possession-and-destruction-aircraft

Well, at least he was a straight shooter. ;)

[RoyGBiv]

Florida Man Angry Over Neighbors' Parking Habits Uses Flamethrower at Occupied Car: Police (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/florida-man-angry-over-neighbors-parking-habits-uses-flamethrower-at-occupied-car-police/ar-AARH21z?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531)

[Balisong]

Florida Man Angry Over Neighbors' Parking Habits Uses Flamethrower at Occupied Car: Police (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/florida-man-angry-over-neighbors-parking-habits-uses-flamethrower-at-occupied-car-police/ar-AARH21z?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531)

I can't put into words how much I love that this is real life.


"This isn't the first time Abrams has used a flamethrower in the neighborhood. Gainey said Abrams often sprayed flames to scare away visitors at her home."

[HCM]

https://news4sanantonio.com/news/nation-world/report-milton-man-attacks-another-man-after-being-caught-humping-dog

Report: Milton man attacks another man after being caught 'humping' dog


SANTA ROSA COUNTY, Fla. -- A Milton man was arrested in Santa Rosa County last Thursday for allegedly throwing punches at a person who caught him "humping" their dog.

John Miller, 33, is charged with battery, aggravated assault with a weapon, and for damaging property.

When the victim confronted Miller about "humping" their dog, Miller began to punch the victim in the head and upper body, according to an arrest report.

When Miller found out the victim and his mother called law enforcement, he began to destroy items and the garage door, according to an arrest report.

An arrest report says, Miller went back to his room and grabbed a knife, threatening to stab and kill the victim before running out the back door towards the street.

Miller was located by deputies soon after and arrested by Santa Rosa County deputies.

Miller was booked into Santa Rosa County Jail last Thursday. He is held on $7,000 bond.

[Stephanie B]

Florida authorities said they found cocaine and methamphetamine wrapped around a man’s penis during a traffic stop, but the man denied the drugs were his. (https://apnews.com/article/oddities-florida-10e4d1f9a3ac418578b7cd38341c70e4)

[blues]

Probably wasn't his dick either. He should sue them for assuming his gender.

[El Cid]

Florida mom instead of Florida man? And it’s Miami Gardens. A dumpster fire and home town of Trayvon Martin to give you an idea.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-woman-threatens-gun-elementary-school-parent-teacher-conference


A Florida mom faces a number of charges after police say she brought a gun to a parent-teacher conference an elementary school. Brenzina Jones attended a meeting at Brentwood Elementary School meeting in Miami Gardens Thursday night. Prior to exiting the campus, the 35-year-old mother reportedly warned the security at the front desk of her willingness to protect her child, WSVN reports.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

https://nypost.com/2022/03/07/florida-man-in-porta-potty-crushed-to-death-by-bulldozer/


A Florida man has been crushed to death by a bulldozer while he was using a porta-potty, authorities said.

Aaron Henderson, 43, was killed on Friday afternoon at the North Central Landfill in Polk County where he worked as a traffic controller, the Polk County Sheriff’s Office said.

The freak accident unfolded as employees were putting away equipment and preparing to shut down the site for the day.

The bulldozer operator had been driving his rig up an embankment at the time, but his view was partially blocked by the machinery’s elevated blade.

[Totem Polar]

[url]https://nypost.com/2022/03/07/florida-man-in-porta-potty-crushed-to-death-bybulldozer/

Well, at least he died doing something he loved.

:rolleyes:

[UNK]

https://intirestingnews.blogspot.com/2018/07/florida-man-bites-his-brothers-penis.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&m=1

Florida Man Bites His Brother’s Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket


His brother was hospitalized with several injuries and he might never use his dick again, because it was completely destroyed. Doctors are doing everything they can to re-construct it.

[blues]

https://intirestingnews.blogspot.com/2018/07/florida-man-bites-his-brothers-penis.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&m=1

Florida Man Bites His Brother’s Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket


His brother was hospitalized with several injuries and he might never use his dick again, because it was completely destroyed. Doctors are doing everything they can to re-construct it.

Wow...oral sex with both your brother and your cousin in one day. Talk about living dangerously...

[mmc45414]

Don't put your dick in crazy...

ETA: I had to look up Dragon Ball Z

[SAWBONES]

ETA: I had to look up Dragon Ball Z


Me too.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Learn to Kamehameha and you never have to carry or take ECQC. Did you miss Goku in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade?

[mmc45414]

Learn to Kamehameha and you never have to carry or take ECQC.

A polishing technique known as Wax On, Whacks Off...

[Kanye Wyoming]

Central Florida man arrested after shooting mom who asked him to ‘stop smoking in the house’


Investigators visited the crime scene, where Settle and the victim lived. He told them he was in his bedroom when the victim told him to “stop smoking in the house.” He said he pointed a firearm at the door, and the gun went off. When he found the victim unresponsive, he called an ambulance and left the scene.

“The suspect is trying to play this off as an accident, but he had a loaded gun and intentionally pointed it at the door where the victim just exited, and he fired it,” said Judd. “He fled the scene without rendering aid, then he arranged for a friend to dispose of the weapon. These are not the actions of a man who just accidentally killed someone.”

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/crime/os-ne-19-year-old-central-florida-man-arrested-for-2nd-degree-murder-20220429-aob2gvm5arb4xlnx5u22mgkmf4-story.html

[Caballoflaco]

A cross-border raiding party made off with a riding mower and trailer of stolen goods, including the holy letter A. They will be brought to justice.

88281


Woman drove stolen lawnmower with Alabama yard sign to Florida, police say


One of the items in the trailer appears to be an University of Alabama yard sign.

“The Alabama A = Represents the Chief’s Favorite Football Team, but is also stolen,” the post states.

Chief Charles Thompson said the woman drove the mower to Florida. The woman and two male suspects were charged but have not been caught, he said.

[Kanye Wyoming]

1524472782268116996?s=21&t=2mYHItTOsk0Ey0geiTCuTQ

[Arbninftry]

https://intirestingnews.blogspot.com/2018/07/florida-man-bites-his-brothers-penis.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&m=1

Florida Man Bites His Brother’s Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket


His brother was hospitalized with several injuries and he might never use his dick again, because it was completely destroyed. Doctors are doing everything they can to re-construct it.

There is just so much wrong in this. I thought cousins were an Arkansas thing, but I guess Florida Man likes to keep it in the family. Draggin Ballz across a blanket for sure.

[DDTSGM]

1524472782268116996?s=21&t=2mYHItTOsk0Ey0geiTCuTQ

Every now and again you see something that makes you realize all is not yet lost.

[OlongJohnson]

1524472782268116996?s=21&t=2mYHItTOsk0Ey0geiTCuTQ

I see a whole bunch of people needlessly risking their lives. It's fairly amazing that didn't go horribly wrong. At the speed she might have gotten to before running into something at idle, she would not likely have been injured by the crash, and if the thing she ran into was a vehicle, the occupants wouldn't have been likely to be injured.

NEVER run after a vehicle that is rolling away. It's exactly the same thing as trying to catch a gun that's dropped and falling. An obvious and predictable way for someone to be very serious hurt or killed. Not to mention in this instance, all the people placing themselves in death's way totally unprotected in order to "protect" someone who had all the safety systems of the vehicle around her.

This even applies when there are kids in the car. If they are properly restrained, they have the vehicle itself and its safety systems to protect them. Far better for them to go through that and have Mom and/or Dad there to rescue them than to have Mom and/or Dad killed/maimed trying to get in the vehicle and stop it.

This happens to be my lane. I'm writing from knowledge stuff that really has happened and happens.

Let it go and live to tell the tale. Please.

[Kanye Wyoming]

Minneapolis, but eventually they'll be moving to Florida as all of our people do. Perhaps, after this, sooner rather than later.


This was some Sabbath service!

A randy couple who Zoomed into services at a Minneapolis synagogue hosting a bat mitzvah forgot to turn off their camera as they began to make a mitzvah of their own — canoodling in full view of verklempt congregants, who were subjected to the softcore sideshow for nearly an hour.

The impromptu version of “Debbie does Deuteronomy” unfolded May 14 in the Twin Cities’ Temple Beth El.

“It went on for about 45 minutes,” said one person who saw the video and requested anonymity. “She was walking around naked, she got dressed, she’s in and out of the Zoom, he was in the bed, he whipped it out, she started going to work. … Someone on the Zoom saw and called her and was like, ‘WTF are you doing? You’re on camera.’ She freaked out.

https://nypost.com/2022/05/28/sabbath-service-derails-after-couple-begins-having-sex-on-zoom/

[Duelist]

Minneapolis, but eventually they'll be moving to Florida as all of our people do. Perhaps, after this, sooner rather than later.



https://nypost.com/2022/05/28/sabbath-service-derails-after-couple-begins-having-sex-on-zoom/

That makes no sense. 45 minutes? The person running the zoom could have turned off their camera feed, or shut down the the whole zoom call and started a new one without inviting them into the new call - let them continue what they were obviously more interested in without involving anyone else.

Of course, to quote Friends, “then he’d have been the guy who shut off free porn.”

[Paul D]

That makes no sense. 45 minutes? The person running the zoom could have turned off their camera feed, or shut down the the whole zoom call and started a new one without inviting them into the new call - let them continue what they were obviously more interested in without involving anyone else.

Of course, to quote Friends, “then he’d have been the guy who shut off free porn.”

If I didn't like that couple, I would accidently left that feed on and go make myself a sandwich.

[Malamute]

https://autos.yahoo.com/florida-man-passenger-crash-fedex-172900159.html

[Clusterfrack]

https://autos.yahoo.com/florida-man-passenger-crash-fedex-172900159.html

Hahahaha!!! That’s classic Florida man / woman.

[blues]

https://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/popeye-blow-me-down.jpg

[frank]

https://autos.yahoo.com/florida-man-passenger-crash-fedex-172900159.html

A head on collision, you might say.

[OlongJohnson]

Doesn't really fit in the shootings in the news thread, and isn't in Florida, but this seemed like the best place for it anyway. Not sure I agree with characterizing the list of guns as an "arsenal."


Arsenal of bombs, weapons found in Warren house that exploded; man in critical condition

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/wayne-county/2022/06/12/bombs-weapons-warren-house-exploded-man-critical-condition/7602002001/


Dwyer said the victim, a man in his 30s, was transported to Detroit Receiving Hospital after sustaining severe injuries, including losing both arms. It was unclear Sunday whether he would survive, Dwyer said.

The man, who Dwyer said had an extensive criminal background involving weapons charges and manufacturing of explosive items, was under investigation prior to the explosion.

Warren police officers and firefighters investigate a garage explosion in the 20700 block of Gentner with damage to the house along 8 Mile Road in Warren, Saturday afternoon, June 11, 2022.

Warren police executed a search warrant Saturday and recovered a dozen firearms including handguns and rifles as well as loaded AR-style magazines and about 4,000 rounds of ammunition, Dwyer said.

Small explosive devices were found as well, and police believe an illegal operation was running out of the house.

[Caballoflaco]

Doesn't really fit in the shootings in the news thread, and isn't in Florida, but this seemed like the best place for it anyway. Not sure I agree with characterizing the list of guns as an "arsenal."


Arsenal of bombs, weapons found in Warren house that exploded; man in critical condition

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/wayne-county/2022/06/12/bombs-weapons-warren-house-exploded-man-critical-condition/7602002001/


90055

[Coal Train]

Obviously this is connected to Florida in some way but I’m not sure if it is the deceased, the accused, Sasquatch, or the catfish.


An Oklahoma man allegedly killed his friend over the weekend because he thought that the victim had summoned Bigfoot to kill him while they were fishing, according to the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation and local media reports



https://www.foxnews.com/us/oklahoma-man-allegedly-killed-friend-fishing-because-thought-feed-him-bigfoot

[Stephanie B]

Obviously this is connected to Florida in some way but I’m not sure if it is the deceased, the accused, Sasquatch, or the catfish.

https://www.foxnews.com/us/oklahoma-man-allegedly-killed-friend-fishing-because-thought-feed-him-bigfoot

Was meth involved?

[blues]

Was meth involved?

Duh. Oklahoma.

[Hambo]

Obviously this is connected to Florida in some way but I’m not sure if it is the deceased, the accused, Sasquatch, or the catfish.


No Florida connection at all. If there had been, it would have been a Swamp Ape, not Squatch. Keep your large, hairy animals straight.

[OlongJohnson]

No Florida connection at all. If there had been, it would have been a Swamp Ape, not Squatch. Keep your large, hairy animals straight.

I thought it was all samsquanches down there.

[Coal Train]

Was meth involved?
NoodleMeth is best/worst meth.

[Malamute]

Made me LOL just reading the first paragraph



A Florida woman was arrested for allegedly brandishing a pitchfork and black whip as she stood outside of a grocery store in the middle of a rainstorm...

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/florida-woman-arrested-allegedly-brandishing-165400014.html

[Hambo]

Made me LOL just reading the first paragraph

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/florida-woman-arrested-allegedly-brandishing-165400014.html

That's some Florida shit there.

[Beat Trash]

Made me LOL just reading the first paragraph




https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/florida-woman-arrested-allegedly-brandishing-165400014.html

Another reason to just say no to blind dates…

[Glenn E. Meyer]

I was driving along the south side of 410 in San Antonio, through a hellacious thunderstorm. There was a fat woman in just a shorts and t-shirt running down the grassy median in the storm. That seemed wrong and dangerous, called 911.

[blues]

Just another day when the circus is in town.

[Stephanie B]

Made me LOL just reading the first paragraph

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/florida-woman-arrested-allegedly-brandishing-165400014.html

Roll call story material:


{Officer] Moss — who noted that Slone “appeared to be highly intoxicated on some sort of stimulant drug” — asked her whether she had taken anything that day.

She told him yes, but refused to provide any other details.

“It’s none of your business what God instructed,” she said in the footage, before loudly screaming at the top of her lungs “God is great!” over and over.

[Hambo]

Just another day in the Sunshine State! Crazy is our business, and business is good.

FIFY.

[Thy.Will.Be.Done]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEGBT_1kCys

Miami Dade off-duty cop arrest in Key Largo...