"Florida Man" Back in the News

[HCM]

https://taskandpurpose.com/news/space-force-florida-aliens-dragons/?utm_campaign=trueanthem_AI&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_term=taskandpurpose

Florida man attempts to break into Space Force base to warn of alien-dragon space war



Since the Space Force was established in 2019, there has been the lingering question of what, exactly, it does.

One would certainly hope that the branch would be heavily involved in a theoretical battle between aliens and dragons in space. The occurrence of which, apparently, one helpful citizen was trying to warn the Space Force about last week.

At Patrick Space Force Base, Corey Johnson, 29, was arrested for trying to enter the installation. The reason? According to what he told arresting officers, he was there on behalf of the President to alert the Space Force that there were “US aliens fighting with Chinese dragons.”

According to Military.com Johnson had stolen a vehicle several days before his attempt to enter the Space Force installation, which is in charge of satellite launch operations on America’s east coast and presumably not fighting dragons (or aliens) in space.

Johnson was arrested trying to enter the base, his mission having been foiled by law enforcement.

Being the proverbial new kid on the block when it comes to branches, the Space Force is bound to get plenty of attention. It’s hard not to notice that the Space Force rank insignia looks a lot like Star Trek, but the uniforms look like part of Star Wars’ Galactic Empire. And then there’s the Space Force’s birthday, which was celebrated with a cake as bleak and empty as the infinite reaches of space itself. Or the fact that the branch with what may be the most complicated mission of all – operating in space – can’t figure out pants, a technology that dates back more than 2,000 years. But they’re working on that.

In theory, the Space Force’s job is to “organize, train, equip and provide forces and capabilities” for U.S. Space Command and other unified combatant commands that need it. And it is an important mission.

Communication, intelligence, navigation, and missile launch warnings, all of this relies on satellites, which the Space Force is responsible for operating. The branch even wants to start monitoring the space between the Earth and the Moon, creating an interplanetary highway patrol of sorts sans sending Erik Estrada into space.

So, for any other citizens looking for some civic engagement, it’s likely that the Space Force is already aware of any alien-on-dragon engagements happening in orbit. And if anyone thinks the Space Force brought this intrusion upon itself by existing in the land of Florida Man, well, it’s a good thing the branch has plans to move its headquarters to Alabama, where nothing like this could possibly ever happen.

[Caballoflaco]

https://taskandpurpose.com/news/space-force-florida-aliens-dragons/?utm_campaign=trueanthem_AI&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&utm_term=taskandpurpose

Florida man attempts to break into Space Force base to warn of alien-dragon space war



it’s a good thing the branch has plans to move its headquarters to Alabama, where nothing like this could possibly ever happen.


I almost choked to death on my lunch enchiladas after reading that.

[Stephanie B]

An 8-inch dagger was found expertly hidden the sole of a man’s shoe as he tried entering a Florida courthouse, and his explanation was even more awkward, according to the Volusia Sheriff’s Office.

“He told (deputies) he didn’t know the knife was in his shoe, and that the shoes weren’t even his,” the sheriff’s office said in a news release. (https://news.yahoo.com/dagger-found-man-shoe-florida-132904047.html)

(I didn't know whether to put this in the "Florida Man" thread or the "Stupid Criminal" thread. This one came up first.

[TheNewbie]

I almost choked to death on my lunch enchiladas after reading that.

Cornbread here.

[Paul D]

I almost choked to death on my lunch enchiladas after reading that.

My best man grew up in Alabama. We both went to med school in New Orleans. He was brilliant. I told him he was probably the smartest guy from Alabama. He claimed that Alabama produced the most astronauts in the space program. I told him chimps don't count.

[DC_P]

Man on honeymoon among 176 busted in Fla. prostitution sting, sheriff says (https://www.police1.com/investigations/articles/man-on-honeymoon-among-176-busted-in-fla-prostitution-sting-sheriff-says-R8A3pDM4P3iozOI9/?utm_source=Police1&utm_campaign=c667e21a62-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2022_08_26_05_54&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5584e6920b-c667e21a62-84334020)

"HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY, Fla. — A man was arrested on his honeymoon after Florida cops say he left his sleeping wife to meet a sex worker."

[blues]

Man on honeymoon among 176 busted in Fla. prostitution sting, sheriff says (https://www.police1.com/investigations/articles/man-on-honeymoon-among-176-busted-in-fla-prostitution-sting-sheriff-says-R8A3pDM4P3iozOI9/?utm_source=Police1&utm_campaign=c667e21a62-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2022_08_26_05_54&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5584e6920b-c667e21a62-84334020)

"HILLSBOROUGH COUNTY, Fla. — A man was arrested on his honeymoon after Florida cops say he left his sleeping wife to meet a sex worker."


So, he was supposed to bring her along? It's so hard to keep track of the rules.

[jtcarm]

Hey now, take it easy on Florida.

As a Texan, I know what it’s like. Every true-life crime book or movie set in my state is guaranteed to have “Texas” in the title.

How come you never see “The Nebraska Cheerleader Murders”, “Murder in Iowa”, “The Michigan Football Massacre” (oh, wait, they did make that, except it was about the Detroit Lions)

[Hambo]

So, he was supposed to bring her along? It's so hard to keep track of the rules.

At least his wife found out before he returned with crabs/AIDS/monkey pox.

[blues]

At least his wife found out before he returned with crabs/AIDS/monkey pox.

Undaunted...Florida Man returns home and joyously announces..."Honey, I've got seafood!"

[Hambo]

Undaunted...Florida Man returns home and joyously announces..."Honey, I've got seafood!"

That's Florida Man. Always looking at the bright side.

[JTQ]

Thought this one had already been posted, but I couldn't find it - Man arrested for killing his neighbor's chicken. We saw this on the local news a couple months back - not this particular broadcast in the video though, and we laughed for days.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVg2giNd0rI

[blues]

It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.

[Stephanie B]

It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.

You know Lawdog has a chicken story (second part of the post).

https://thelawdogfiles.com/2008/03/and-i-wanted-interesting-job.html

[Hambo]

Thought this one had already been posted, but I couldn't find it - Man arrested for killing his neighbor's chicken. We saw this on the local news a couple months back - not this particular broadcast in the video though, and we laughed for days.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVg2giNd0rI

Miami has the hottest news women.

[Kanye Wyoming]

All of us stressing over: striker vs. TDA vs. 2011 vs. yadda yadda yadda; caliber; training; dot vs. irons; the new Glock Killer; does it take Glock mags; etc., etc.

All for nought.

95720

[Thy.Will.Be.Done]

Florida Sheriff re: increasing murder rates in FL...


https://www.instagram.com/p/CYE1iqjhy0G/

[Kanye Wyoming]

BUT IN PENNSYLVANIA.


Pennsylvania Man Tony Saunders, 24, is in the York County, Pennsylvania Jail after leading cops on a multi-county chase in a stolen school bus. Saunders achieved a hat trick by doing it while naked, with a dead deer in the back of the bus.

On Monday night, Saunders stole the bus in Abbottstown after crashing a BMW earlier in the day. The bus was reported stolen, and a BOLO (Be On The Lookout) was issued.

https://floridajolt.com/man-leads-cops-on-chase-in-stolen-school-bus-with-dead-deer-in-back-while-naked/

Earth has spun off its axis.

[RoyGBiv]

BUT IN PENNSYLVANIA.



https://floridajolt.com/man-leads-cops-on-chase-in-stolen-school-bus-with-dead-deer-in-back-while-naked/

Earth has spun off its axis.

Too many Dylan Mulvaney beers in the tree stand?

[hufnagel]

BUT IN PENNSYLVANIA.



https://floridajolt.com/man-leads-cops-on-chase-in-stolen-school-bus-with-dead-deer-in-back-while-naked/

Earth has spun off its axis.

https://media.tenor.com/PDcZgDlm6F8AAAAC/im-not-even-mad-thats-amazing.gif

[Stephanie B]

All of us stressing over: striker vs. TDA vs. 2011 vs. yadda yadda yadda; caliber; training; dot vs. irons; the new Glock Killer; does it take Glock mags; etc., etc.

All for nought.

95720

A ten-year Federal crime for $120? That works out to a buck a month.

[DC_P]

A ten-year Federal crime for $120? That works out to a buck a month.

It's more than he paid for the gun = profit.

[Kanye Wyoming]

APRIL 26--While inside her residence, a Florida Woman shot and killed her pet parrot with a Glock handgun and then fought with her husband, according to police who arrested the couple Monday afternoon.

Police say Suzanne Mulalley, 62, was intoxicated when she killed her African grey parrot with a .380 caliber handgun inside the Largo home she shares with her husband Steven, 66.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/animals/parrot-murder-024518

[Caballoflaco]

The US US Coast Guard continues to stand on the frontlines in War on Natural Selection…

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/florida-man-attempting-to-cross-atlantic-ocean-in-man-made-hamster-wheel-charged-after-5-day-rescue.html
Florida man attempting to cross Atlantic Ocean in man-made hamster wheel charged after 5 day rescue

Florida man who was attempting to cross the Atlantic Ocean in a man-made hamster wheel is facing federal charges after it took the U.S. Coast Guard five days to bring him ashore, according to a criminal complaint filed in Miami.

The Coast Guard spotted Reza Ray Baluchi, 51, some 70 miles (112 kilometers) off the coast of Tybee Island, Georgia, on Aug. 26, while making preparations for Hurricane Franklin, the complaint, filed in federal court, said. Baluchi was charged Tuesday with obstruction of boarding and violation of a captain of the port order.

Eta: I need to tag Lester Polfus

[LockedBreech]

The US US Coast Guard continues to stand on the frontlines in War on Natural Selection…

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/florida-man-attempting-to-cross-atlantic-ocean-in-man-made-hamster-wheel-charged-after-5-day-rescue.html
Florida man attempting to cross Atlantic Ocean in man-made hamster wheel charged after 5 day rescue


Eta: I need to tag @Lester Polfus (https://pistol-forum.com/member.php?u=8726)

It's hard to overstate how absolutely, incredibly dead that man would have been if the Coast Guard hadn't nabbed him. I imagine he'd have had an "uh oh" moment around mile 200.

[Lester Polfus]

The US US Coast Guard continues to stand on the frontlines in War on Natural Selection…

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/florida-man-attempting-to-cross-atlantic-ocean-in-man-made-hamster-wheel-charged-after-5-day-rescue.html
Florida man attempting to cross Atlantic Ocean in man-made hamster wheel charged after 5 day rescue


Eta: I need to tag Lester Polfus

Wow.

[P30]

Rüdiger Nehberg (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%BCdiger_Nehberg), German suvivalist, crossed the Atlantic Ocean several times in simple boats.

Example: In this pedal boat in 1987 (https://www.spiegel.de/fotostrecke/abenteurer-und-menschenrechtler-ruediger-nehberg-fotostrecke-126151.html):

https://cdn.prod.www.spiegel.de/images/6003c415-0001-0004-0000-000000841743_w920_r0.6682242990654206_fpx50.98_fpy 67.45.jpg

He did so to get media attention in order to help an indigenous people (Yanomami) in the Amazon rain forest. He was a great human rights activist, a hero and a humble, very kind person.

BTW: Nice song: "We gonna do what they say can't be done (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJPM-M_Z65o)" :)

[LockedBreech]

Rüdiger Nehberg (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%BCdiger_Nehberg), German suvivalist, crossed the Atlantic Ocean several times in simple boats.

Example: In this pedal boat in 1987 (https://www.spiegel.de/fotostrecke/abenteurer-und-menschenrechtler-ruediger-nehberg-fotostrecke-126151.html):

https://cdn.prod.www.spiegel.de/images/6003c415-0001-0004-0000-000000841743_w920_r0.6682242990654206_fpx50.98_fpy 67.45.jpg

He did so to get media attention in order to help an indigenous people (Yanomami) in the Amazon rain forest. He was a great human rights activist, a hero and a humble, very kind person.

BTW: Nice song: "We gonna do what they say can't be done (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJPM-M_Z65o)" :)

That's a level of ballsy I can't relate to. The ocean is scary.

[Rex G]

While it may seem crazy to cross oceans on a human-powered watercraft, I was binge-watching was yew-tube videos on Himalayan mountain climbers, and was reminded that some of the more-difficult peaks claim 1-in-8 to 1-in-6 of the climbers who attend to summit, statistically, yet Nepal and Pakistan continue to issue permits to allow climbers to keep on trying an activity with a success rate similar to that of Russian Roulette.

[DDTSGM]

Rüdiger Nehberg (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R%C3%BCdiger_Nehberg), German suvivalist, crossed the Atlantic Ocean several times in simple boats.

Example: In this pedal boat in 1987 (https://www.spiegel.de/fotostrecke/abenteurer-und-menschenrechtler-ruediger-nehberg-fotostrecke-126151.html):

https://cdn.prod.www.spiegel.de/images/6003c415-0001-0004-0000-000000841743_w920_r0.6682242990654206_fpx50.98_fpy 67.45.jpg

He did so to get media attention in order to help an indigenous people (Yanomami) in the Amazon rain forest. He was a great human rights activist, a hero and a humble, very kind person.

BTW: Nice song: "We gonna do what they say can't be done (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJPM-M_Z65o)" :)

Wow! Now I know what to do with my Hobie Cat.

[Stephanie B]

The US US Coast Guard continues to stand on the frontlines in War on Natural Selection…

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/florida-man-attempting-to-cross-atlantic-ocean-in-man-made-hamster-wheel-charged-after-5-day-rescue.html
Florida man attempting to cross Atlantic Ocean in man-made hamster wheel charged after 5 day rescue


Eta: I need to tag Lester Polfus

Buncha brown-water busybodies.

[Clusterfrack]

A witness called police after he saw the alligator with a body in its mouth.

https://www.fox19.com/2023/09/23/graphic-alligator-pulled-florida-waterway-where-body-was-recovered/?outputType=amp

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Some poor homeless woman, I saw.

[Caballoflaco]

Of course Florida has rabid otters, and if they aren’t rabid they’re probably high on bath salts……

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/rabid-otter-bites-florida-man-41-times-attacks-familys-dog-reports-say.html

A Florida man was attacked by a rabid otter which bit him 41 times, with the animal later attacking a dog walking with its family.

Joseph Scaglione was feeding ducks and geese near his Jupiter, Fla., home last Wednesday when suddenly the fowl all took off.

Scaglione said he noticed a brown head sticking up over the bank of the pond behind his home, but didn’t realize at first it was an otter, according to WPBF in West Palm Beach.

Scaglione said he slowly backed away, toward the gate to his property, but as he started to close the gate, the otter attacked, causing the 74-year-old to stumble and fall.

The otter bit Scaglione 41 times on his legs, hands and arms. The attack lasted several minutes.

Scaglione finally escaped the otter by grabbing it and throwing it away from him, allowing him time to get to safety before seeking medical treatment.

[DDTSGM]

Of course Florida has rabid otters, and if they aren’t rabid they’re probably high on bath salts……

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/rabid-otter-bites-florida-man-41-times-attacks-familys-dog-reports-say.html

Didn't happen!

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Ftambak o%2F9585712083&psig=AOvVaw0b6MakGwb3XPV5EdXI11ui&ust=1695953395314000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBAQjRxqFwoTCKCOyYadzIEDFQAAAAAdAAAAABA5

[DDTSGM]

Of course Florida has rabid otters, and if they aren’t rabid they’re probably high on bath salts……

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/rabid-otter-bites-florida-man-41-times-attacks-familys-dog-reports-say.html

But they're so cute!

109935

[Clusterfrack]

Of course Florida has rabid otters, and if they aren’t rabid they’re probably high on bath salts……

https://www.al.com/news/2023/09/rabid-otter-bites-florida-man-41-times-attacks-familys-dog-reports-say.html

Now we can add otter to the list of yeeted animals.

[Sensei]

But they're so cute!

109935

Yeah, I’ve seen that movie. I’d blow that bitch into tiny bits…
109939

…in thy mercy.

[BobM]

Just remember, L’otters are not afraid

[blues]

Just remember, L’otters are not afraid

Why I otter...

;)

[JohnO]

Tell me this Florida man story doesn't take the cake!


May it please the court Your Honor. I would like to enter Mr. Patterson's "Johnson" into evidence.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxjPrv-P8p5/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D

Back to add more. I see a verdict was rendered.


HARD DEFENCE Massive penis man who claimed his girlfriend choked to death during oral sex is dramatically found NOT GUILTY of murder

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3631393/massive-penis-man-claims-girlfriend-choked-death-not-guilty-murder-richard-patterson/

[Sensei]

Tell me this Florida man story doesn't take the cake!


May it please the court Your Honor. I would like to enter Mr. Patterson's "Johnson" into evidence.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxjPrv-P8p5/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA%3D%3D

Back to add more. I see a verdict was rendered.



https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/3631393/massive-penis-man-claims-girlfriend-choked-death-not-guilty-murder-richard-patterson/

I can hear the ghost of Johnnie Cochran telling the jury, “If the dick don’t fit, you must acquit.”

[blues]

I can hear the ghost of Johnnie Cochran telling the jury, “If the dick don’t fit, you must acquit.”

Sounds like a cock and bull story.

[Stephanie B]

And now, "Florida Man" is an athletic competition (https://www.thefloridamangames.com/).

[Rex G]

https://abc13.com/18-wheeler-police-chase-high-speed-montgomery-county-reckless-driver-sheriffs-office-houston-department/14011994/

[Tapatio]

https://shepherdexpress.com/puzzles/news-of-the-weird/news-of-the-weird-week-of-november-23-2023/

Rudy Wilcox, 45, of Clearwater, Florida, was "observed defecating on a deceased opossum" on Nov. 15, according to The Smoking Gun. Officers with the Clearwater Police Department said he was in "full view of the motoring public during busy traffic times." While Wilcox denied the accusation, officers found "physical evidence" to support the charges. Just one question: What would have happened if the opossum were only playing possum?! Wilcox was jailed.

[HCM]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-allegedly-refusing-pay-waffle-house-tattoo


Florida man arrested for allegedly refusing to pay for 'Waffle House' tattoo
Max Krejckant, 33, was arrested on a petit theft charge



A Florida man was arrested after he was inked with a "Waffle House" tattoo and refused to pay for it, according to an arrest affidavit.

Max Krejckant, 33, was arrested on a petit theft charge for failing to pay a tattoo parlor in St. Petersburg, Florida, earlier this month.

Deputies with the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office responded to Ink Godz on Dec. 2 after Krejckant received the tattoo but would not pay the $250 charge, the affidavit said, according to FOX 35 Orlando.

Krejckant claimed he could not pay for the tattoo because he did not have his debit card with him.

He also failed to provide proof that he had $250 in his bank account and refused to pay the money after being offered multiple payment options, deputies said.

Deputies searched Krejckant's bag and only found six dollars and his driver's license, the affidavit said.

Krejckant was booked into the Pinellas County Jail and released the following day on a $150 bond.

[HCM]

https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-killed-putting-child-thought-possessed-fire-striking-deputy-rod-sheriff


Florida man killed after putting child he thought was ‘possessed’ into fire, striking deputy with rod: sheriff
9-year-old boy escapes fire without serious injury, Highlands County sheriff says



A Florida man accused of trying to burn a 9-year-old boy he believed was demonically possessed, before hitting a sheriff’s deputy in the head with a metal rod, was shot dead on Tuesday, authorities said.

Firefighters responded just after 4 p.m. to reports of a burning pile of debris on the side of Bay Blossom Drive at the intersection of U.S. Route 98 in Sebring, the Highlands County Sheriff's Office said.

The situation, however, was deemed suspicious, and deputies were called to help.

Responding deputies arrived and found 39-year-old Richard Myron Ham armed with two metal rods, according to authorities.
Ham refused to comply with the deputies’ orders, at which point deputies used a Taser on him, though the sheriff’s office said that the Taser did not appear to have any effect.

"Ham pulled the Taser probes from his body and re-armed himself with one of the bars," Highlands County Sheriff Paul Blackman said. "He then swung the metal rod and struck a deputy in the head."

Another deputy opened fire and struck Ham, officials said. Ham was rushed to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead. The injured deputy was treated at another hospital and released.

During an investigation, deputies learned that Ham and 30-year-old Lakenya Phillips were burning the possessions of Phillips’ 9-year-old son.

Ham and Phillips believed the child "was possessed by a demon," according to the sheriff’s office.

Witnesses told deputies that they saw Ham put the child into the fire and cover him with a blanket that was already burning. The sheriff’s office said the child was able to escape the flames and avoid serious injury.

Phillips and the boy were both listed as missing and endangered in Wichita, Kansas, on Dec. 6, according to authorities. It was unclear when or why the pair came to Highlands County.

Deputies searched Ham and Phillips’ vehicle, finding multiple firearms and drugs inside, officials said without elaborating.

Ham had a criminal history that included convictions for armed felonies and drug possession and multiple arrests in Arkansas, South Carolina and Georgia.

[DDTSGM]

Was unable to determine from the story if the boy was found or is still a valid amber alert.

Thanks!

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Did anyone cite the Florida GOP threesome? Saw a poll on whether you are gay if you take part in a threesome? Maybe DeSantis is waiting for the results.

[blues]

Did anyone cite the Florida GOP threesome? Saw a poll on whether you are gay if you take part in a threesome? Maybe DeSantis is waiting for the results.

Do we really need to sully this thread? Can't we just have one place where we can have a laugh at the expense of "Florida Man"?

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Threesome should be an Olympic event.

[RoyGBiv]

Threesome should be an Olympic event.

Pole Vault
Long Jump
Shot Put

:o

[FrankB]

Crazy Shoplifter Siege!


https://youtu.be/eDEwKJWy-Xw?si=xSiIOmn_pG10CQAB

[Glenn E. Meyer]

This Florida story sounds fishy to me:

https://winknews.com/2023/12/21/fish-stolen-bass-pro-shops-gulf-coast-town-center/

Suspect steals 50-pound tarpon from Bass Pro Shops in Gulf Coast Town Center

----------

Question - would you intervene to save the fish or be a good witness to this hideous crime?

[RJ]

Question - would you intervene to save the fish...

Absolutely Glenn. Blackened with a side of cole slaw.

Wait, what was the question?

[HeavyDuty]

113531

[Joe in PNG]

Absolutely Glenn. Blackened with a side of cole slaw.

Wait, what was the question?

Eating tarpon? Must be some dumb damnyankee tourist if he thinks he's going to have a tarpon for dinner.

[RJ]

113531

I call fowl. WGN is a station in Chicago.

[HeavyDuty]

I call fowl. WGN is a station in Chicago.

Yeah, ‘GN is my hometown independent. Here’s the actual link, it’s an AP story:

https://wgntv.com/weird-news/ap-exploding-toilet-at-a-dunkin-store-in-florida-left-a-customer-filthy-and-injured-lawsuit-claims

[RJ]

Yeah, ‘GN is my hometown independent. Here’s the actual link, it’s an AP story:

https://wgntv.com/weird-news/ap-exploding-toilet-at-a-dunkin-store-in-florida-left-a-customer-filthy-and-injured-lawsuit-claims

Oh, Winter Park. Gotcha. Yeah West of N Orlando Avenue towards Eatonville Winter Park can get a bit sketchy.

[Jim Watson]

There has been a Florida Man competition. Sounds a bit mild but it was a public event.

https://apnews.com/article/florida-man-games-5b6179b81fcab5a70764109cd126b207

"They rose up by the dozens from across Florida, caricatured competitors in tank tops and cutoff shorts, for a showdown that treats evading police and wrestling over beer like Olympic sports.

Promoted as “the most insane athletic showdown on Earth,” the Florida Man Games poke fun at the state’s reputation for bizarre stories that involve brawling, drinking, gunfire, reptile wrangling and other antics carrying a risk of time in jail or intensive care.

The games kicked off Saturday with the “Star Spangled Banner” played on electric guitar. Then spectators sipping canned beers behind metal barricades cheered and frequently shouted expletives as a dozen teams battled in contests inspired by real events from America’s most surreal state."

[Clusterfrack]

113531

How about a lawsuit against DD for misrepresenting their hot beverages as coffee?

[UNK]

How about a lawsuit against DD for misrepresenting their hot beverages as coffee?

Or those round things as doughnuts

[Stephanie B]

How about a lawsuit against DD for misrepresenting their hot beverages as coffee?

Still rather drink their coffee than the toxic brown sludge sold by those pretentious Seattle shitbitds. At least at DD, I can order a large coffee without having to figure out if “venti” means “large”.

[HeavyDuty]

I spent a couple years in DD’s home turf, but have been a customer since my early teens. I still remember their endless soup and fresh bread deal from the late 70s.


How about a lawsuit against DD for misrepresenting their hot beverages as coffee?

Better and more consistent than the crap at Charbucks.


Or those round things as doughnuts

Agreed, even since they quit making them in store and moved to a commissary model. The only exception I’ve seen is in Mass and South NH, because there are so damn many outlets the commissary system works. They’re at least tolerable there, but I’ll still take a good small bakery donut over DD hands down. The DD sourdough is great, though.


Still rather drink their coffee than the toxic brown sludge sold by those pretentious Seattle shitbitds. At least at DD, I can order a large coffee without having to figure out if “venti” means “large”.

This, so much this.

[DDTSGM]

Someone recently put in a DD/Baskin Robbins combo shop in our little slice of heaven. Thinking back to my junior high trips to DD on Sunday mornings after finishing my paper route to meet with a couple other kids I knew who had routes, I made a beeline for the place shortly after they opened.

Big change. I won't be back as I'm not going to pay more for a convenience store donut than I pay for that donut at a convenience store.

[SWAT Lt.]

Florida Man the song: https://youtu.be/J325R_DkJrs?si=RQItgx6o8YU5M0gN

[Half Moon]

Technically Oklahoma, but morally feels like a Florida Man happening:

Robbed at Snake Point (https://www.newson6.com/story/65fb572e68e054064ead4973/reptile-robbery-man-accused-of-using-snake-in-casino-robbery)

[Borderland]

Eating tarpon? Must be some dumb damnyankee tourist if he thinks he's going to have a tarpon for dinner.

Aren't tarpon just a giant goldfish (carp)?

[gringop]

Technically Oklahoma, but morally feels like a Florida Man happening:

Robbed at Snake Point (https://www.newson6.com/story/65fb572e68e054064ead4973/reptile-robbery-man-accused-of-using-snake-in-casino-robbery)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qgy7PLAgF-Y

I believe that I visited the San Antonio/New Braunfels Snake Farm once during my Stonemason/constriction days, I've driven past it hundreds of times.

I suggested it many times while working at Rackspace as a team-building outing, Management always vetoed it. Those worthless fucks didn't know that adversity build Esprit de corps.

Shitheads think that Top Golf builds teams? NO! Snake Farms build teams!


Gringop

[JohnO]

Fort Myers police arrest nude woman for arson at church, then starting fire in patrol car

https://winknews.com/2024/03/21/woman-accused-setting-three-small-fires-fort-myers/

Inquiring minds want to know where she kept/hid the matches/lighter?

[SCCY Marshal]

Fort Myers police arrest nude woman for arson at church, then starting fire in patrol car

https://winknews.com/2024/03/21/woman-accused-setting-three-small-fires-fort-myers/

Inquiring minds want to know where she kept/hid the matches/lighter?

Comedy option that happens fairly often: she didn't do it, the wiring harness just went up.

[Wondering Beard]

That downward iguana pose.


1772370988715434233

[RoyGBiv]

That downward iguana pose.


1772370988715434233

Mom lives in SE FL.... This year is better, but 2 years ago she had a terrible Iguana problem... couldn't go out the back of her house the iguanas were so thick and huge. I saw several that were easily over 3 feet and at least 10 pounds (not a fish story).

Apparently they fall asleep/dormant? when the weather is chilly and they can fall from the trees.

Lesson: never do yoga under a sleeping iguana

[Jim Watson]

A friend who 1. lives in Florida and 2. teaches Yoga confirms that iguanas are real pests, although not intruding on her sessions... yet.
They are also legal vermin and may be shot without limit.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

A friend who 1. lives in Florida and 2. teaches Yoga confirms that iguanas are real pests, although not intruding on her sessions... yet.
They are also legal vermin and may be shot without limit.

https://www.jacksonville.com/story/news/2018/09/01/chicken-of-trees-eating-south-floridas-iguanas/10869714007/

Yum! Python is yummy also, we discussed that elsewhere. Florida is a reptile food paradise. Question - if you kill a kaiju - it can feed starving millions.

[Clusterfrack]

https://www.jacksonville.com/story/news/2018/09/01/chicken-of-trees-eating-south-floridas-iguanas/10869714007/

Yum! Python is yummy also, we discussed that elsewhere. Florida is a reptile food paradise. Question - if you kill a kaiju - it can feed starving millions.

I like snake—at least rattlesnake. It’s buttery and tender white meat. But like feral hogs, I bet it depends on what they’ve been eating.

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Had alligator spare ribs in New Orleans - not bad. Don't know if they were fed on old people from Florida retirement homes who fell into canals.

[RoyGBiv]

I like snake—at least rattlesnake. It’s buttery and tender white meat. But like feral hogs, I bet it depends on what they’ve been eating.

I've only ever had rattlesnake fried. Like chicken nuggets. They were meh, but I'm open to a better way.
Japanese and Chinese versions of eel can be pretty good.
I was Man-shamed into drinking snake bile liquor in Taipei once. Never again. :p

[mmc45414]

They are also legal vermin and may be shot without limit.
The stalking doesn't look too difficult...

https://youtu.be/nVdOWMGU-Jw

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Eel is one of my favorites in Japanese restaurants. We buy canned roasted eel from China to put over rice or noodles. We made friends with the owner/Chef of a great Japanese restaurant in Portland. My daughter loved to order unaju there. In third grade, the kids had to make a poster of their favorite food - she put down eel. Surprised a few.

Wegmans has eel rolls now. The Asian market here sell live eel. When I was a kid in Brooklyn, the fish market has a barrel of live eels as people of Italian descent would buy them and cook them in tomato sauce.

[Joe in PNG]

Aren't tarpon just a giant goldfish (carp)?

Nope. They're their own unique thing, and famously bony & bad tasting. The whole point of catching them lies entirely in catching them.

[RJ]

Yeah so maybe y’all have jets, and maybe y’all have cars but y’all don’t have any JET FREAKING CARS. :cool:

My daughter in law sent me this picture today, They were getting on the turnpike near Ocala when they saw this rig on the way. I mean, seriously lol.

116771

[revchuck38]

^^^^In front of a "Pilot" gas station, no less. :rolleyes:

[Stephanie B]

Had alligator spare ribs in New Orleans - not bad. Don't know if they were fed on old people from Florida retirement homes who fell into canals.

Did Amos Moses catch it for you?

[HeavyDuty]

Yeah so maybe y’all have jets, and maybe y’all have cars but y’all don’t have any JET FREAKING CARS. :cool:

My daughter in law sent me this picture today, They were getting on the turnpike near Ocala when they saw this rig on the way. I mean, seriously lol.

116771

https://jetsetterus.com/gallery

[gringop]

116771

Would use it on tailgaters, seriously.

Would also add a movable plywood rudder synced to the front wheels.

Gringop

[That Guy]

Yeah so maybe y’all have jets, and maybe y’all have cars but y’all don’t have any JET FREAKING CARS. :cool:


Meanwhile in California.... https://www.motortrend.com/news/jet-powered-vw-new-beetle-for-sale-price-photos/

(I wasn't aware that thing was for sale. I wanted to find the original website describing the vehicle build, but alas, I can't find it right now. Not while using a phone, at least.)

[DDTSGM]

Are things this bad in Florida? I'm aware that many people make moves without enough due diligence and thought, but are these folks the norm and is what they say true? I mean after reading some of you guys on here, I though Florida was a paradise.

Some examples: And the link: https://www.yahoo.com/news/came-florida-sun-sand-got-130000443.html

Contributing to their move was a perfect storm of soaring insurance costs, a hostile political environment, worsening traffic and extreme weather, according to interviews with more than a dozen recent transplants and longtime residents who left the state in the past two years.

While costs have been rising across the country, some areas of Florida have been hit particularly hard. In the South Florida region, which includes Miami, Fort Lauderdale and Palm Beach, consumer prices in February were up nearly 5% over the prior year, compared to 3.2% nationally, according to the most recent data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Homeowners insurance rates in Florida rose 42% last year to an average of $6,000 annually, driven by hurricanes and climate change, and car insurance in Florida is more than 50% higher than the national average, according to the Insurance Information Institute. While once seen as an affordable housing market, Florida is now among the more expensive states to buy a home in, with prices up 60% since 2020 to an average of $388,500, according to Zillow.

Her homeowners insurance company threatened to drop her coverage if she didn’t replace her home’s 9-year-old roof, a $16,000 to $30,000 project, and even with a new roof, she was expecting her home insurance rates to double — one neighbor saw their insurance go from $600 a month to $1,200 a month.

She was also facing rising property taxes as the value of her home increased, her homeowners association fees went from $326 a month to $480, and her insurance agent warned that her car insurance would likely double when it was time to renew her policy. Her husband had to get a second job on weekends to cover the higher costs.

While Florida has an unemployment rate below the national average, Blaski and others said wages weren’t enough to keep up with their expenses. The median salary in Florida is among the lowest in the country, according to payroll processor ADP. To afford a home in one of Florida’s more affordable metro areas, like Jacksonville, a homebuyer would need to earn $109,000 a year, around twice as much income as a buyer would have needed just four years ago, according to an analysis by Zillow.

“I saw my neighbors and co-workers become more radicalized, more aggressive and more angry about politics. I’m thinking, where is this coming from? These are not the people I remember,” Schmitz said. “I was finally like, we need to get the hell out of here, things are not going well.”

For some Florida newcomers though, politics is the main draw to the state, said John Desautels, who has sold real estate in Florida for decades. While politics never used to be a topic for homebuyers, Desautels said it is now a regular subject his clients bring up. Rather than asking about schools or amenities in a community, prospective buyers are asking him about the political affiliations of a certain neighborhood.

“One of the first things they say is, ‘I don’t want to be in one of them X or Y political party neighborhoods,’” Desautels said. “I spend hours listening to people vent to me about fleeing the communist government of XYZ and they want to come to freedom or whatever. So the politics have been the biggest issue when we get the call.”

Despite our reputation as a Bible Belt Backwater, maybe Kansas isn't so bad.

[DC_P]

according to interviews with more than a dozen recent transplants and longtime residents who left the state in the past two years.

I am no fan of Florida, but that seems like a pretty limited and skewed data set.

[JT007immy]

Yah.. lot of "red..eks" here in FL .. lol

[RJ]

I am no fan of Florida, but that seems like a pretty limited and skewed data set.

+1.

I would not take a news article that featured an ‘armadillo invasion’ in Florida too seriously.

People come here for the sunshine, no state income tax, reasonable local government, and law and order. They put up with hurricanes, property taxes, unending highway construction and roaches that need a rope. But on balance it’s been our choice the last 20 years or so, overall.

[mmc45414]

Despite our reputation as a Bible Belt Backwater, maybe Kansas isn't so bad.
I have gradually become less reluctant to tell people I am from Ohio. I have also accepted the reality that I will most likely, gladly live here the rest of my life. Maybe if I got to pick I wouldn't pick it again, but nothing else is attractive enough to undo what I have here.

[Totem Polar]

Meanwhile in California.... https://www.motortrend.com/news/jet-powered-vw-new-beetle-for-sale-price-photos/

(I wasn't aware that thing was for sale. I wanted to find the original website describing the vehicle build, but alas, I can't find it right now. Not while using a phone, at least.)

There’s a guy in Coeur d’Alene who owns one of these:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MTT_Turbine_Superbike

I’ve been next to him when he fired it up to leave. The entire circle of enthusiasts—including me—all took several involuntary steps back as the turbine spooled up. Totally insane.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFS8pzBZU5c

[DDTSGM]

+1.



I would not take a news article that featured an ‘armadillo invasion’ in Florida too seriously.

People come here for the sunshine, no state income tax, reasonable local government, and law and order. They put up with hurricanes, property taxes, unending highway construction and roaches that need a rope. But on balance it’s been our choice the last 20 years or so, overall.

Armadillo's have been migrating steadily north, not south in my experience. I never saw one in Kansas as a youth, there are plenty around now.

I've never lived in Florida, but have been there several times over the years, enough so that I've experienced every 'season' or time of the year.

The fact that there isn't enough cold to kill bugs or weeds gets you to roaches that need a rope and that is one reason I'd never live there.

I was curious about the rest of the article.

[RJ]

The fact that there isn't enough cold to kill bugs or weeds gets you to roaches that need a rope and that is one reason I'd never live there.

I was curious about the rest of the article.

Bite your head off man.


https://youtu.be/ZJUTZQ38hEA?si=OAk4pnXcd53p9Y8U

[Stephanie B]

There’s a guy in Coeur d’Alene who owns one of these:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MTT_Turbine_Superbike

I’ve been next to him when he fired it up to leave. The entire circle of enthusiasts—including me—all took several involuntary steps back as the turbine spooled up. Totally insane.

A used 420RR will set one back a quarter-mil. (https://www.nostalgicmotoringltd.com/vehicles/2023-mtt-420rr-turbine-powered-superbike/)

[Totem Polar]

A used 420RR will set one back a quarter-mil. (https://www.nostalgicmotoringltd.com/vehicles/2023-mtt-420rr-turbine-powered-superbike/)

That’s about what they ran new, a decade back. I’m sure they’re even more now.

[Coyotesfan97]

Did Amos Moses catch it for you?


Or Shelbye from MHI Saints

[willie]

I've been to Florida twice, and both times a hippie mooned me. Big lard ass girl. I ain't going back.

[DDTSGM]

I've been to Florida twice, and both times a hippie mooned me. Big lard ass girl. I ain't going back.

At last a confirmed Willie sighting!

116912

[0ddl0t]

Florida man accidentally kills his best friend with a negligent discharge while pistol-whipping said friend over a missing pool pump


https://youtu.be/oTcWZwYGCjQ?si=mMd2OOXoqjjLYF2L

[Borderland]

I've been to Florida twice, and both times a hippie mooned me. Big lard ass girl. I ain't going back.

Worse things have happened to me in FL.I was stationed there for two years 67-69. Hippies everywhere. Couldn't fight them off with a stick. I gave up.

The come on question was do you believe in free love.

You would have to have been there to believe it.

[Crusader]

I’ve lived in California, Florida is the JV team when it comes to freaks, weirdo’s and hippies. The left coast is the major leagues for all that.