I think I'm burned out

[JCN]

@Clusterfrack

It was actually part of my design and plan to show my daughter why work ethic matters so she didn’t get the magical thinking some kids get that they should only do things that are fun right now or things they enjoy right now.

My nephew is like that and he never got good at anything.

I’m convinced that’s also a thing with relationships and marriages too.

So I tell my daughter often when I practice that if you want to get good at anything, you have to put in the effort.

I saw that a bunch in University when the flake outs changed majors because they didn’t like XYZ course.

I didn’t like them either but, I just had to master that stuff to get to the fun advanced stuff.

They don’t know what they’re missing.

[littlejerry]

USPSA has been really good for me as an outlet.
It adds camaraderie, a little bit of movement, trackable improvement and a high level of performance standard.

Plus, the vast majority of the sport can be practiced dry if you’re honest with yourself in feedback.

Check out my training journals for examples (I did wind up making GM recently).

I’m finding that giving back to the community helping with informal coaching has helped scratch my itch of development so if you ever want to do a training journal together, I have lots of baby friendly ideas that won’t scare the babysitter, lol.

USPSA isn't new to me, but I haven't taken it seriously for a while. Not that I was ever "serious", but I used to shoot a local match 1-2 times per month with an old co-worker. I made it to B class without really taking it seriously (i.e. no supplemental training, no dryfire regimen) and eventually moved on to biathlons and DMR matches.

Now that I have a daughter I know I'll have to be vastly more efficient with my time. USPSA could be a good outlet to check my ego and make sure I'm making progress. Ultimately my goal is to stay competitive in biathlons. 2021 is shot but I'd like to place well in the 2022 races

[Clusterfrack]

Growth Mindset FTW

@Clusterfrack

It was actually part of my design and plan to show my daughter why work ethic matters so she didn’t get the magical thinking some kids get that they should only do things that are fun right now or things they enjoy right now.

My nephew is like that and he never got good at anything.

I’m convinced that’s also a thing with relationships and marriages too.

So I tell my daughter often when I practice that if you want to get good at anything, you have to put in the effort.

I saw that a bunch in University when the flake outs changed majors because they didn’t like XYZ course.

I didn’t like them either but, I just had to master that stuff to get to the fun advanced stuff.

They don’t know what they’re missing.

[45dotACP]

@Clusterfrack

It was actually part of my design and plan to show my daughter why work ethic matters so she didn’t get the magical thinking some kids get that they should only do things that are fun right now or things they enjoy right now.

My nephew is like that and he never got good at anything.

I’m convinced that’s also a thing with relationships and marriages too.

So I tell my daughter often when I practice that if you want to get good at anything, you have to put in the effort.

I saw that a bunch in University when the flake outs changed majors because they didn’t like XYZ course.

I didn’t like them either but, I just had to master that stuff to get to the fun advanced stuff.

They don’t know what they’re missing.

I love this post actually.

There is a curse that lives in talent.

I've seen so many guys and gals who were naturally talented at something like academics, shooting, BJJ, Kickboxing etc...

And many times they will burn out.

Case in point. I was in the top 1% of my graduating class in high school from an academic standpoint. I was handed my first failing grade in freshman year of college. That's because college requires study. High school was simple enough for me to just eff off and do whatever and still ace the test, but it never taught me to work hard.

I could have said it's just because I'm not really as smart as I thought I was, but that would be self criticism without a point. Of course I was smart enough. But there's layers to this and just being naturally good at it will only get you so far.

I came to realize that passing these tests would come at the expense of staying overnight in the library, seeing a tutor, being ruthlessly honest about my abilities and knowledge AND trying to harness my belief in my own abilities and frame the problems in terms I could address.

This applies to shooting, to BJJ, to learning a new language...all of it.

I may yet personally begin to lean back into getting better at this shooting thing (can't yet Hundo a B8 so that's a short term goal in live fire as I begin doing more dry fire) but the process involves work. And if I've never had to work hard because I'm one of those gifted types...well I'm really actually cursed, because I'll never be as good as I could be.

Sent from my moto g(6) using Tapatalk

[JCN]

being ruthlessly honest about my abilities and knowledge AND trying to harness my belief in my own abilities and frame the problems in terms I could address.

That, my friend, shows you’re successful and were committed to actually getting better than protecting the ego and stagnating or running away.

It’s really the key to a lot of things in life.

Do you want to feel better superficially now by running away from it, or do you want to feel deeply better about it by putting in the effective practice and work and knowing you got better!

I never took offense at someone saying “you suck” at XYZ… because I knew that if I invested the time and effort, I wouldn’t suck at it anymore.

It hasn’t happened yet, but I’m looking forward to the first time my daughter says she doesn’t like something because she’s not good at it. Will help her separate out her enjoyment of an activity from her proficiency at it. Which is a hard thing to conceptualize.

I also love in your story that you sought help in addition to putting in the work.

[Doc_Glock]

^^Truth

I used to race cars and spent almost every weekend out of town in the RV. I would tow 25,000 miles a year competing. Was fine because my wife used to race too and it was something we did together.
It was remarkably family friendly. I could dry fire while my kid napped or ate. That evolved into spending together time with her.

I never planned on making GM. I didn’t think it was possible with all my other commitments and I’m not willing to compromise the things that are actually important to me like family and work responsibilities.

Plus shooting has to be tons cheaper!

I think you’re worn out.

Doing Jiu Jitsu 2-3 days week killed me shooting for about a year or two. I didn’t not like guns anymore - I just didn’t find my interest in them.

I stopped doing Jiu Jitsu because of the toll it was taking on my marriage and having kids (less than 1 year old). Seriously. Once we had kids, etc. I realized being out of the house 3 days a week was rough on the marriage.

I once asked the couples at a Jiu Jitsu Christmas party how they maintained a happy marriage. Unanimously of the guys wives who would come they were either A.) pissed off at their husband or B.) they had no kids and had time for their hobbies and each other.

That is interesting to hear. I quit BJJ after three months due to the time and energy commitment and the fact that classes were always at the dinner hour. Sure I was getting crushed as well, but I could not sustain the energy output along with work, family, weight lifting, running, biking, all activities I enjoy more. Not to mention shooting. Maybe if I ever empty nest and retire I will get back to it because it was a really cool community.

[RevolverRob]

I've skimmed the thoughts in here a bit, but haven't read everything fully.

Here are my thoughts:

Motivation is directly dependent on your overall goal for doing the activity in hand. If you've reached the levels you wanted to reach there is no sense 'pushing through' to achieve something you're not interested in achieving.

If you are happy with your current area and your goals are achieved, there is no reason to do more than 'maintain' and you can and should focus on other things.
____

It's been around...8-months since I last fired a live round in practice and more than 4-years since I took a gun-oriented training course. When I get out the timer and do dryfire about once a week, maybe twice a week, I evaluate if I'm where I want to be performance wise. When I do go live fire, I run my preferred metrics and check function of my weapon(s), confirm zero, and then roll on. In the few times I've been to the range during the course of doing my PhD I never more than once ran more than 200 rounds. In the last 10-years, I'd say I'm on a <500 rounds/year shooting schedule. A couple of times I was at 0 rounds per year.

I don't really care about these metrics. I know there are guys here who can CRUSH me in shooting, but see the guys here? They aren't the guys I'm worried about having to fight in the street, they aren't. That phrase, "There is always someone training harder than you to be better than you." - Is a great phrase if you care about being the 'best' at whatever it is you're doing. Otherwise, it's actually kind of a stupid phrase and you should think more like, "Is the effort I'm putting in proportional to achieving my goal and not some unattainable dream?"

My goal is always to work to hit a 90+ on The Test with each pistol I may carry on my person. And to get a <1.5 second draw to high-percentage first shot. And then otherwise, just kind of do what I need to do to maintain that level. I'm not a M or GM shooter and I have absolutely zero interest in being one, to be honest. I honestly find being a competitor boring overall - I'm just not someone who ever measures himself against other people, only against metrics I set for myself.

Why do I stay on P-F? Good community, plus also, I learn stuff frequently. Including thinking about how I do the things I do and maintain the skills I want to maintain. You can remain a student, even if your goals are mostly 'achieved' and you're just 'maintaining a baseline'.

[Clusterfrack]

...I honestly find being a competitor boring overall - I'm just not someone who ever measures himself against other people, only against metrics I set for myself...

Great post, RR.

I love competitive shooting, but still mainly test myself against metrics I set for myself. As long as I keep improving, I'm satisfied. Of course, at some point, I won't be able to keep getting better and will have to find another way to look at the process.

[RevolverRob]

That is interesting to hear. I quit BJJ after three months due to the time and energy commitment and the fact that classes were always at the dinner hour.

Christ, I thought I was the only one who found the time of BJJ classes to be annoying. The local gym has a 'Foundations Class' that is 8-weeks, 3x a week from 6-7pm. I've got 50-55 hours a week of work to do, dinner to cook, a dog to walk, a car to restore, and a 2-hour daily commute. I settled on going once a week to the 90-minute Saturday morning class.

[BWT]

Plus shooting has to be tons cheaper!

That is interesting to hear. I quit BJJ after three months due to the time and energy commitment and the fact that classes were always at the dinner hour. Sure I was getting crushed as well, but I could not sustain the energy output along with work, family, weight lifting, running, biking, all activities I enjoy more. Not to mention shooting. Maybe if I ever empty nest and retire I will get back to it because it was a really cool community.

Being truly good at something requires sacrifice to be honest. I’m not saying you can’t have a family and do BJJ. I’m just saying leaving the house getting home from work at 5:15 and leaving at 6:00 and coming home at 9:00 PM 2-3 days a week did not bode well long term for my marriage. Especially after kids.

It got to the point where I just went straight to the Jits from work and ate dinner in the parking lot two days a week after having my first born. I just quit going home. I stopped when I was preparing for the CCNP Route exam and failed that twice.

I dunno I think it takes a family with understanding of that expectation to do it well. By the way, that’s not a huge amount of training. Serious top level athletes train like 5-6 times a week, often multiple times a day and lift weights / do other exercises. I’m nothing exceptional in fact - I might’ve been considered more casual.

They wanted to know why I didn’t compete as well.

If there are guys that can make it work - I’m all ears. Please advise - sincerely. I’m completely able to say “I don’t know”.