Mountains just aren't funny, they are hill areas!
Mountains just aren't funny, they are hill areas!
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
Took me a minute. I had to say it out loud.Originally Posted by JAD
Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Man: A guy got hit by a car, he needs an ambulance.
Operator: What is your location?
Man: We're on Eucalyptus street.
Operator: Can you spell that?
(Long Pause)
Operator: Sir are you still there?
Man: I'm dragging him over to Pine street. I'll call back.
Don’t blame me. I didn’t vote for that dumb bastard.
What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?
Nobody pays $200 to have a garbanzo bean on thier chest.
Two Amish women are in a field digging up potatoes.
Woman #1 has two potatoes in her hand, and says, these remind me of my husbands testicles.
Woman #2 says, they are that big ?
Woman #1 says, no, they are that dirty
A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50-50%.
A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for HIS opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.
God Bless the enlisted man.
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Not another dime.
I read a book on surgical procedures recently.
It was good up until the end.
Then I realized someone had removed the appendix.
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
What do you get when you put your hand in a blender?
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A handshake.
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
Don't expect me to stop if you're broken down by the side of the road.
I know you were offered an extended car warranty several times.
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Not another dime.
Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch...
Yeti never complains.
Is the boy you were proud of the man you are?
Fimbo iliyo mkononi, ndio iuwayo nyoka!
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