There will be a hundred different ways that people will answer "how do you grip the gun" if you wait long enough. It has been my experience that there are just too many nuances and differences from person to person and what works for one may not for another. I've spent lots of time chasing techniques because someone else was adamant that that was the
only way to run a gun only to discover that what worked for them didn't work for me.
As an example, many solid shooters are able to get away with gripping with
just their hands and forearms only (Jerry is probably one of them with his HUGE hands). What I mean by that is they're able to keep a relatively relaxed posture throughout their bodies up to about their elbows, after which varying degrees of tension and pressure kick in to make the gun do what they want it to do. That doesn't work for me and it doesn't because I don't have the surface area on my hands to mash enough skin into the grip panels in order to have adequate friction for that technique; I'll end up with an inconsistent grip after a few shots.
Instead - as you're discovering - I tend to let my elbows roll up and out a bit because I want the drumstick portion of my support hand to have firm contact with the side-panel above my strong hand fingers. I don't get any meaningful contact behind the strong-hand fingers with my support hand so I want as much contact above those fingers as possible, and I've found that this is the best way to do it. While that naturally leads to some inward torque on the gun from both of my hands, I often deliberately focus on adding more to really clamp down on the gun.
As you continue on your journey I'd focus more on defining what you're trying to achieve before you start evaluating different techniques. If your goal is to develop a platform from which you can run your gun consistently, accurately and reasonably fast under stress then it's best to play around with some of the different ideas thrown out there and discover what works for *you*.