Chuck Norris Sold His Soul???

[Corlissimo]

Seen on FB recently so it must be true:

"Chuck Norris sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts skills. Shortly after the transaction was finalized Chuck roundhouse kicked the Devil in the face, and then took his soul back. The Devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad at Chuck and admitted that he 'should have seen it coming'. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month."

~ Typos brought to you by my laziness & in attention to detail.

[LHS]

Chuck Norris once urinated in the gas tank of a semi-truck because he was miles away from a restroom. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

[Corlissimo]

Ha! Okay, here we go... I'll start with the classic:

Chuck is so tough he sleeps with a pillow under his gun.




~ Typos brought to you by my laziness & in attention to detail.

[Guinnessman]

According to Webster's Dictionary, the word "Lesbian" means:

Has yet to meet Chuck Norris.

[WobblyPossum]

When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, the pool gets Chuck Norrised.

A long time ago, Chuck Norris was doing a little sparring with MR. T. Chuck threw a roundhouse which Mr. T happened to block with his mohawk. The resulting explosion is known as "The Big Bang."

When CHuck Norris wants a steak and a glass of milk, he just eats a cow.

[Andy in NH]

Children look under their beds for the Boogieman.

The Boogieman looks under his bed for Chuck Norris!

[archangel]

I actually have a t-shirt that says "Guns carry Chuck Norris for protection."

[texasaggie2005]

[Chuck Haggard]

Only one person in history has ever kicked Chuck Norris in the face. Bruce Lee.

Bruce Lee is dead.

Coincidence?

[NEPAKevin]

Only one person in history has ever kicked Chuck Norris in the face. Bruce Lee.

Bruce Lee is dead.

Coincidence?

As is Bruce's son, Brandon. Talk about unintended consequences.