Regarding the 1911...you make good points. In my case, the mental exercise eventually leads to an attempt to source a Chambers Custom 38 SuperComp...and then I have to come back to reality. Though a Staccato CS and Wilson SF9 have crossed my mind as more reasonable considerations.
Regarding the USP...It crossed my mind as well. The USP points well for me in a one handed grip...my theory is the flat sided grip lines up better for my physiology on presentation. I had a USP40 for a few years (bought the first one I could find when they were released). Recently, I bought a USP45, primarily as a field gun; it reminded of the positives of the platform. USP9 Compact with hybrid Match/LEM or variant 1 (locked or decocked) would work fine for me, especially the ergos. Although it isn't comparatively great, I find the USP Double action shot, although 'relatively terrible', actually very shootable one handed. For a 'out of the box will probably work like a champ in all conditions' consideration, it's at reasonably competitive (though I always keep Todd Green in mind with his comments about manufacturers and problems).