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Thread: Girlfriend doesn’t want me to have my CCW when I come over her house.

  1. #51
    The R in F.A.R.T RevolverRob's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    Gotham Adjacent
    For me there are multiple red flags, but the two big ones. 1) You state this woman finds you physically attractive, which boosts your ego. 2) You mention Condition 3 pocket carry is for peace of mind not reality.

    These two aspects are part of a larger underlying issue that you need to look to resolve and involve both a mindset change and some tactics to produce said mindset change.

    Mindset:

    1: You need to learn how to not need to have your ego stroked by any one person. You cannot find healthy, stable, relationships, or even contentment in life if you're not able to be comfortable with yourself.

    2: Comfort with yourself extends to being comfortable in your surroundings or comfortable in your ability to alter those surroundings to meet your needs. That isn't just being comfortable in your own skin, it's comfortable and confident in your own abilities.

    Tactics:

    1: Drop this woman and forget she exists.

    2: In fact, if I were you, I'd swear off women for awhile. Focus solely on self-improvement. Learn new things, go to the gym and lift heavy weights, start rolling Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, teach yourself how to reload, shoot more competitions, dry fire more. Whatever you do don't choose booze, partying, or eating - none of those are improvements.

    3: As part of 2...you need to get yourself to a series of shooting courses that continually press you to be a better shooter. Your decision to Condition 3 is a function of lack-of-confidence in handling your firearm and overconfidence in your ability. You need to confront the reality of both.

    _

    To conclude:

    I won't mince words or play nice about it your issue is ego. And if you don't make changes to confront and crush your ego, you will in the absolute best case - continue exactly as you are in your current status quo. In the worst case you'll end up over extending yourself and get yourself into a lot of trouble that could have been avoided entirely.

    Ego is the enemy of progress and contentment. Ego is what causes us to be complacent, it is what causes us to covet, it is what causes us the most pain. Crush your ego and you'll start to win at life.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trooper224 View Post
    Regarding this particular issue: gun ownershipw is a core issue for many people, whether for or against. Just like politics and religion are core issues for even more. It's been my observational experience that such intracability on a core issue will invariably lead to incompatibility down the road.
    Excellent point and well said!

  3. #53
    I was fortunate enough to take my second-ever pistol training class with a fellow student who wanted to shoot the class as he carried--no round in the chamber. So I got to see the inspiring phenomenon of this guy drawing from concealment how ever many dozens of times all day, and failing to rack a round into the chamber just about every single time. To me, the first problem with empty chamber carrying isn't so much that you'll have a hard time racking the slide if you get into a grappling situation, or if you have an injured hand, or whatever. To me, the first problem is that you just won't rack the slide on the draw. Anyone who trains himself enough on the draw/rack so that he becomes actually capable of doing that in a defensive situation will at the same time develop sufficient comfort with his gun that he'll no longer want to carry on an empty chamber.
    O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason.

  4. #54
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    Erie County, NY
    Old debate on unchambered carry. I broke my wrist and had taken an injured shooter class. So I knew the drills on one handed manipulation. Spending a few months with my dominant hand out it, certainly convinces me that I would never do that voluntarily.
    Cloud Yeller of the Boomer Age

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erick Gelhaus View Post
    Your comfort - this isn't derogatory towards you; however, if you are not comfortable carrying a quality handgun with a round chambered, then you should not carry that handgun concealed on you. The research and validation is out there.

    Her comfort - If are committed to that relationship and concealed carry, you'll need to find out her fears, concerns and work to address them. Your lack of comfort may well be playing into that.
    This may be issue...perhaps she senses or has seen the OP's discomfort of handling firearms and it's a safety concern with her rather than an anti-gun sentiment.

  6. #56
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    At home when I was a kid we had a 1911 45 which I started using at age 13. My father, older brothers, and uncles trained me well. The old man would have taken it away from me had I not demonstrated safe handling. It was one of my woods companions, and I was under strict order to keep the chamber empty. I obeyed 100%. As a teen I figured out aside from plinking and field shooting, condition 3 put folks at a disadvantage. I can't imagine using it with a carry gun.

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hambo View Post
    A friend of mine carries C3 and here's what I've learned:
    -He will never spend money on training
    -He will listen politely to any reasoning, and still won't get training or stop carrying C3.

    Every day he gets away without needing a C1 pistol reinforces that he doesn't need one.

    I have found that women respond to logic on C3 carry and are more willing to invest in training. When I ask women how they plan to fight me while getting their P365 into shooting mode, the light bulb comes on instantly. Men, not so much.
    Excellent teaching point. I will borrow that and use my old infirm ass as an example by saying If I latched on to you, you must first get my 190 pound frame off of you and point out that you eventually can but will have a dead gun during the process. And like Mike Tyson I bite!

  8. #58
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    Join Date
    Dec 2021
    Quote Originally Posted by RevolverRob View Post
    For me there are multiple red flags, but the two big ones. 1) You state this woman finds you physically attractive, which boosts your ego. 2) You mention Condition 3 pocket carry is for peace of mind not reality.

    These two aspects are part of a larger underlying issue that you need to look to resolve and involve both a mindset change and some tactics to produce said mindset change.

    Mindset:

    1: You need to learn how to not need to have your ego stroked by any one person. You cannot find healthy, stable, relationships, or even contentment in life if you're not able to be comfortable with yourself.

    2: Comfort with yourself extends to being comfortable in your surroundings or comfortable in your ability to alter those surroundings to meet your needs. That isn't just being comfortable in your own skin, it's comfortable and confident in your own abilities.

    Tactics:

    1: Drop this woman and forget she exists.

    2: In fact, if I were you, I'd swear off women for awhile. Focus solely on self-improvement. Learn new things, go to the gym and lift heavy weights, start rolling Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, teach yourself how to reload, shoot more competitions, dry fire more. Whatever you do don't choose booze, partying, or eating - none of those are improvements.

    3: As part of 2...you need to get yourself to a series of shooting courses that continually press you to be a better shooter. Your decision to Condition 3 is a function of lack-of-confidence in handling your firearm and overconfidence in your ability. You need to confront the reality of both.

    _

    To conclude:

    I won't mince words or play nice about it your issue is ego. And if you don't make changes to confront and crush your ego, you will in the absolute best case - continue exactly as you are in your current status quo. In the worst case you'll end up over extending yourself and get yourself into a lot of trouble that could have been avoided entirely.

    Ego is the enemy of progress and contentment. Ego is what causes us to be complacent, it is what causes us to covet, it is what causes us the most pain. Crush your ego and you'll start to win at life.


    1) Truthfully I’m not looking for any woman. Don’t have the energy and desire for the BS. (Was formerly married for 27 years)

    2) currently going to the gym and lifting weights again as 40yr high school reunion is later this year.

    3) My reality is if there is trouble I……
    A) Run
    B) Hide
    C) fight

    (Wait…..that’s a movie that never got released).

    Ha, my imaginary friend just came over my house. Just beat the crap out of him with my fists.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by 365X View Post
    1) Truthfully I’m not looking for any woman. Don’t have the energy and desire for the BS. (Was formerly married for 27 years)

    2) currently going to the gym and lifting weights again as 40yr high school reunion is later this year.

    3) My reality is if there is trouble I……
    A) Run
    B) Hide
    C) fight

    (Wait…..that’s a movie that never got released).

    Ha, my imaginary friend just came over my house. Just beat the crap out of him with my fists.
    So what you’re saying is:

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  10. #60
    Site Supporter Hambo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 365X View Post
    2) currently going to the gym and lifting weights again as 40yr high school reunion is later this year.
    So you'll work out for months to looks better and possibly impress people, most of whom you haven't seen in 40 years. However, you won't put in the effort to carry a gun in state of readiness. My first answer was mistaken. Quit carrying the gun and have fun with the chick. You might score at the reunion, too.
    "Gunfighting is a thinking man's game. So we might want to bring thinking back into it."-MDFA

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