Well - yesterday didn’t go as expected.

[BWT]

Long story short - my Dad passed and what I say is going to be stereotypical in some ways but non the less true.

Guys, if you still have your parents take some time to tell them what they mean to you and express some gratitude. I’d say perhaps consider that for all family members. I can’t tell you how sorely I wish I had the chance to have one more conversation with my Dad in the last two days. I was on great terms with my Dad at the end of his life as well… I just can’t shake that desire.

Second, if you’re in your 30’s have your affairs and wishes documented. My Dad did an exceptional job in some ways and it’s made me aware of things I need to do in others. Just out of consideration save your loved ones this headache as they are trying to come to terms with losing you.

Third, a huge thanks to any / all first responders. I had reason to believe things had gone poorly with my Dad, but LE was quick to get there and get into his home for the wellness check (I live in a different state). I simply can’t give enough gratitude to LE and the officer that found my Dad. What would be a good gift to give this man and the coroner?

I honestly thought about detailing how he passed and what happened… and I may, but I figure just say something and honestly give a few things I’ve seen in this.

Thanks guys - I consider many friends and I’m kind of venting.

[Moylan]

Prayers for you and your Dad.

[JCN]

@BWT was just thinking about you today, buddy.

[Suvorov]

I’m sorry man. I can relate to everything you said. It’s going to be painful for a while by I assure you that the happy memories will outweigh the sad ones in the years to come.

Maybe you find peace and may your father’s memory be eternal!

[WobblyPossum]

My condolences.

[LJP]

My father died in another state as well. Being a paramedic, I was intimately familiar with what happened halfway across the country… had a very succinct discussion with the ER physician after he was transported by EMS.

Losing a parent is never easy. Condolences to you and your family.

[Chuck Whitlock]

Condolences and prayers for your family.

[Cory]

Hang in there. I'll pray for you. I don't look forward to my turn. At least he knew you loved him, and you know he loved you.

I'm really close with my Dad. And we have talks about how much we matter to each other. We know how valuable our time is, but acknowledge that we'll still want more when it's over. I dont know if he has wishes prepared.

I do need to get my affairs in order. My wife and I are in our 30s.

[BWT]

You know… I’m a Christian and honestly with what has come to light just with the medical examination, etc. this might’ve been a graceful way to go.

What happened was he had an abscess on his jaw again (he had a cavity in his jaw bones from having throat cancer back in circa 2002-2003). He was also diagnosed with cancer again recently and we had his last radiation treatment for the tumor on his liver in November (ETA: on his 70th birthday of all days…) This is after having reconstructive jaw surgery fall before last (1.5 years). I was with him that day. It appears the treatment was not effective and it had metastasized and spread across his body (and in his jaw). He was being set to go into palative care.

But the abscess burst in his jaw sometime Wednesday we believe (my last text was received early in that day). Given from what I’ve come to understand it was basically arterial bleeding given the amount of vascular structure in his jaw. He couldn’t stop the bleeding and eventually collapsed and expired. He also had a medical issue that caused coagulation not to happen.

I will say that this has been gut wrenching as I think over just the last moments of his life and I can see the way he went through his home it was heartbreaking. We were able to have his house cleaned today. But what I look at is - largely this was not a painful way to die and given the amount of bleeding he died in a short time frame. He had his independence - he was very concerned about losing that and he didn’t die in hospice or having to come to terms with the losing end of this. He died how he wanted to die after living out the end of his life the way he wanted.

God gave me 20 years with my Dad in my opinion in a miraculous way (he had a staff infection that nearly killed him after his initial bout recovery with cancer in the early 00’s). He got to see his grand kids. We were able to reconcile many of his relationships (including mine and his) and he was able to take care of my step mom through her passing last November from cancer as well.

I just can’t say how proud of my Dad I am and the man he was and the honest to God redemption of many wrongs in his life. I love and loved him dearly.

I would also add - having a life alert or something of that nature may be wise for the elderly. I will say with how fragile my Dad’s jaw was and the severity of the bleed… I don’t think it would’ve stopped things. But just in general - a friend of my Wife’s Aunt’s life was literally saved by her Apple Watch contacting emergency authorities.

Also… man I might find a tourniquet to carry. Not that it would’ve changed the outcome, but man… if I come across somebody bleeding arterially, etc. like that it might be nice to have options if it’s an appendage.

You know another blessing in disguise - this happened on a weekend my mother-in-law was able to watch our kids and we have the holiday.

Tomorrow we head to the visitation and crematorium. Whew buddy… Alright - thanks for listening guys. Hug and love those family members extra tight!

[breakingtime91]

You know… I’m a Christian and honestly with what has come to light just with the medical examination, etc. this might’ve been a graceful way to go.

What happened was he had an abscess on his jaw again (he had a cavity in his jaw bones from having throat cancer back in circa 2002-2003). He was also diagnosed with cancer again recently and we had his last radiation treatment for the tumor on his liver in November (ETA: on his 70th birthday of all days…) This is after having reconstructive jaw surgery fall before last (1.5 years). I was with him that day. It appears the treatment was not effective and it had metastasized and spread across his body (and in his jaw). He was being set to go into palative care.

But the abscess burst in his jaw sometime Wednesday we believe (my last text was received early in that day). Given from what I’ve come to understand it was basically arterial bleeding given the amount of vascular structure in his jaw. He couldn’t stop the bleeding and eventually collapsed and expired. He also had a medical issue that caused coagulation not to happen.

I will say that this has been gut wrenching as I think over just the last moments of his life and I can see the way he went through his home it was heartbreaking. We were able to have his house cleaned today. But what I look at is - largely this was not a painful way to die and given the amount of bleeding he died in a short time frame. He had his independence - he was very concerned about losing that and he didn’t die in hospice or having to come to terms with the losing end of this. He died how he wanted to die after living out the end of his life the way he wanted.

God gave me 20 years with my Dad in my opinion in a miraculous way (he had a staff infection that nearly killed him after his initial bout recovery with cancer in the early 00’s). He got to see his grand kids. We were able to reconcile many of his relationships (including mine and his) and he was able to take care of my step mom through her passing last November from cancer as well.

I just can’t say how proud of my Dad I am and the man he was and the honest to God redemption of many wrongs in his life. I love and loved him dearly.

I would also add - having a life alert or something of that nature may be wise for the elderly. I will say with how fragile my Dad’s jaw was and the severity of the bleed… I don’t think it would’ve stopped things. But just in general - a friend of my Wife’s Aunt’s life was literally saved by her Apple Watch contacting emergency authorities.

Also… man I might find a tourniquet to carry. Not that it would’ve changed the outcome, but man… if I come across somebody bleeding arterially, etc. like that it might be nice to have options if it’s an appendage.

You know another blessing in disguise - this happened on a weekend my mother-in-law was able to watch our kids and we have the holiday.

Tomorrow we head to the visitation and crematorium. Whew buddy… Alright - thanks for listening guys. Hug and love those family members extra tight!

I lost my dad 11 years ago when I was twenty. He went out similarly to your father, I also found solace in knowing he had lived a good life and passed away in his home. It is never easy losing a parent or sibling but time does allow the passing to linger in the background and the positive memories are all I think of now.