It may be that a class in your area that has a section that covers spray and situational awareness maybe they would let her sit in for just that part? SouthNarc was willing to do that for one of my female family members although in the end she didnt go.
Have you tried working with her with one of those water filled trainers?
I can fully understand why someone, especially female or eldery, would be reluctant to be exposed to it.
Heres a visual of how it works hope it helps