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Thread: Projecting Confidence in a Self-Defense Encounter

  1. #1
    banana republican blues's Avatar
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    Projecting Confidence in a Self-Defense Encounter

    A good (short) read from Shawn Vincent of CCW Safe

    https://ccwsafe.com/news/projecting-...nse-encounter/


    Craig Douglas served in law enforcement for 21 years, with 11 years in narcotics and two spent as an undercover officer. During his career, Craig had countless encounters with dangerous criminals. While some of those encounters resulted in the use of force, most others ended without violence. Last week, we shared how Craig deploys verbal skills to manage unknown contacts and de-escalate potentially violent encounters – but it doesn’t matter much what you say as a concealed carrier if you aren’t able to say it with confidence.

    “If you don’t want to sound panicked,” Craig says, “you can’t be panicked, and you actually have to be in control. Generally, the only way to connote that is if it’s real, and it’s only going to be real if you’ve prepared yourself.”

    In a recent podcast, Craig told us that during his career, he’s had violence meted out on him, and he’s meted violence out on other people. “I’ve had enough violence in my life to where I don’t sweat a confrontation,” Craig says. Most concealed carriers don’t have the kind of personal experience with violence that Craig has, but there are ways to develop confidence in your ability to handle violence without getting into street fights with criminals. “The first time to feel that viscerality and that kind of terror is in a safe supportive training environment where it’s a simulation,” Craig says. Becoming a student of the martial arts is a good way to begin...cont'd
    There's nothing civil about this war.

  2. #2
    Site Supporter Totem Polar's Avatar
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    I am a real fan of Craig’s POI on all this stuff. His concepts and training were literally life-changing for me in several ways.
    ”But in the end all of these ideas just manufacture new criminals when the problem isn't a lack of criminals.” -JRB

  3. #3
    Deadeye Dick Clusterfrack's Avatar
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    Great article, @blues.

    As well, I think it's important to know ones limits. ECQC and EWO are great for illustrating how much of an advantage size, youth, and a bit of training can be.
    “There is no growth in the comfort zone.”--Jocko Willink
    "You can never have too many knives." --Joe Ambercrombie

  4. #4
    Site Supporter Totem Polar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clusterfrack View Post
    Great article, @blues.

    As well, I think it's important to know ones limits. ECQC and EWO are great for illustrating how much of an advantage size, youth, and a bit of training can be.
    Oyea. In addition to the obvious, there’s also being able to articulate some liberal (as in, being “liberal” with dishing out force) choices. Like hitting hard and first or early tool use.

    JMO.
    ”But in the end all of these ideas just manufacture new criminals when the problem isn't a lack of criminals.” -JRB

  5. #5
    banana republican blues's Avatar
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    Like Kenny Rogers said...

    Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run.

    Circumstances will vary. Choose wisely. Sometimes a nod is as good as a wink.
    There's nothing civil about this war.

  6. #6
    banana republican blues's Avatar
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    Of course, one never knows what level of predator one might encounter, and nothing can be taken for granted, especially these days, it seems.

    Couple of examples, verbal and non-verbal.

    Riding the subway home from the federal building in NYC I spied a guy who was clearly sizing up one or two potential victims for either a purse snatch, chain snatch or straight up mugging.

    I waited for him to make eye contact and when he did, I nodded to him, (to let him know that I knew what he was about), and let my jacket fall open showing my holster under a sport coat. He got off at the next stop.


    On another occasion, I had to report for jury duty and on my walk to the subway from my apartment I came upon one guy beating the tar out of another.

    I attempted to break it up with a verbal command and was told by the perp that he'd shove my badge up my ass. Since I didn't want to find out if he could, and didn't want to start a gunfight out of a fist fight, I picked up the phone, (there was a convenient public phone right there on the corner), and called for assistance.

    The guy ran off at that point. It turned out they were brothers-in-law. I didn't ask what the beef was about.

    By the way, I got to court on time...only to be dismissed as a juror on a peremptory challenge...but we know the reason why.
    There's nothing civil about this war.

  7. #7
    Site Supporter Odin Bravo One's Avatar
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    Only way to project genuine confidence is to have it. If you have it, you don’t need to project it, it is projected for you. Sure, some turn that into a macho bravado, but my experience is those who talk and project the big game generally have no game at all. The brash & boorish behavior is their bluff, hoping to intimidate any people who take exception to such antics. But when faced with someone with actual genuine confidence, theirs wanes rapidly.

    Genuine confidence, Unfortunately, isn’t something you get from reading forums or even hitting the range. Gotta get out there and get comfortable with the concept of fighting for your life at bad breath distances. Only way to get comfortable is to do it over and over and over again until you work and achieve genuine confidence based on tangible metrics and realistic situations and circumstances.
    You can get much more of what you want with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone.

  8. #8
    Deadeye Dick Clusterfrack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giving Back View Post
    Only way to project genuine confidence is to have it. If you have it, you don’t need to project it, it is projected for you. Sure, some turn that into a macho bravado, but my experience is those who talk and project the big game generally have no game at all. The brash & boorish behavior is their bluff, hoping to intimidate any people who take exception to such antics. But when faced with someone with actual genuine confidence, theirs wanes rapidly.

    Genuine confidence, Unfortunately, isn’t something you get from reading forums or even hitting the range. Gotta get out there and get comfortable with the concept of fighting for your life at bad breath distances. Only way to get comfortable is to do it over and over and over again until you work and achieve genuine confidence based on tangible metrics and realistic situations and circumstances.
    This is turning into an epic thread already. Mentors with life experience who can model and teach are rare. I feel very fortunate to have worked with a few...
    “There is no growth in the comfort zone.”--Jocko Willink
    "You can never have too many knives." --Joe Ambercrombie

  9. #9
    Modding this sack of shit BehindBlueI's's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giving Back View Post
    Gotta get out there and get comfortable with the concept of fighting for your life at bad breath distances. Only way to get comfortable is to do it over and over and over again until you work and achieve genuine confidence based on tangible metrics and realistic situations and circumstances.
    I've said it before, but feel it's worth mentioning in this context. I found realistic Simunitions reps, particularly with pain feedback, very helpful in building confidence prior to the actual event. So much so that "this is just like that Simunitions drill" went through my mind as I moved up to the car the shooter was firing from. And it was, it was so much like a drill we'd had a few months prior where the driver of a truck was the bad guy my subconscious brain felt like it had already done this and came out unscathed. I know finding that sort of training, especially for those without access to .mil/.le training resources, can be very difficult but I am such a believer in the effectiveness I think it's worth it.
    Sorta around sometimes for some of your shitty mod needs.

  10. #10
    It is interesting how confidence can be situational. In aviation, my confidence varies dramatically based on what I am flying, how much total time I have in that type, and my recency of experience. There is stuff I do in a jet or helicopter and don't think twice about, that I wouldn't consider ever in a Cub. My wife is a better Cub pilot than me, and there is stuff she routinely does on one way strips that I am not comfortable doing.

    This translates to self defense. Out on the tundra, I feel in my element around bears, and the other creatures, but at the 7 Eleven after dark in an urban area my stress level is way way higher. Realistically, given my life that isn't going to change for me, which means I need to know my own limits.
    Likes pretty much everything in every caliber.

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