Half of parents still financially support their adult children, study shows

[45dotACP]

My son has one more semester finished in Dec. Hes about ten hours drive, when he was in HS I told him he should go away for college. I agree they need to stand on their own but damn I miss him.

Being the second youngest of six, I saw a lot of siblings move out and grow up. Eventually, my Mom and Dad moved to Texas a little while ago after Dad retired. All the kids had graduated college and it was a smarter financial move to go to Texas. A few of my sisters went with them too. Got a brother in Minnesota and a sister in Iowa and a little brother who is still here in IL.

I met my wife before they moved and I stayed in Illinois to see where it would lead because I had a sudden attack of intelligence and she seemed great.

She was. We're married now, which means I'm staying in Illinois for a while and it was for sure the best decision I've ever made. My brother stayed here because we have always been damn near inseparable.

Priorities change and life happens for sure. But I sure do miss the hell out of my Mom and Dad and my siblings. It's a 16 hour drive and I hate that I can't be around my family, despite truly enjoying being married and starting to build a family of my own.

Newspapers can and always have breathlessly reported on how spoiled and attached kids are nowadays (probably ever since the first newspaper was printed), but my parents didn't want any of us to feel pressured to leave or that we would be loved any less for staying under their roof to get our feet beneath us while we embarked on our journeys into this world. They wanted us to know we weren't alone.

We all moved out in our own time...some after grad school and others after undergrad. Nobody was a failure to launch or some Mom's basement failure. We just had different timelines and my parents were understanding and loving despite that.

If any newspaper or boomer has an issue with that they can go fuck themselves.

There was (and still is) so much love in my family and that's a thing to be celebrated, not looked upon as some disastrous coddling of the western mind.

Tl;DR I would bet you a PF dollar that your son misses you like hell.

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[4RNR]

The parents reap what sow, should have raised them better or simply say NO and cut them off

I always had a theory that it's the other way. Not raising the kids bad but being overbearing way past reasonable age.. Helicopter parents. Parents who need to make sure their kids are safe at all times 24/7/365.

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[RevolverRob]

I guess I missed it.

Why am I supposed to care what private, taxpaying, citizens do with their money?

If you want to support your kid past their 18th birthday - what business is it of mine?

[TGS]

That doesn't surprise me, and 18 is an unrealistic cutoff, with regards to higher education timetables. What DOES surprise me is how many kids WANT to be supported by their parents.

When I was 15, all I wanted was to work and have enough money to buy a car and take out girls. Then when I was 18, I just wanted to be on my own, so I could make my own rules, and bring home girls. I was basically out of the house before I graduated HS. My mom paid for my first semester at the University, then I paid the rest. I desperately wanted to graduate in four years, so I could be "free". I just really have a had time understanding some people. I guess it the whole Comfort vs. Freedom thing we see being played out all over the country and world every day

BLUF; in the last year we've beaten to death the disparities in generations, so all that needs to be said is that what was likely reasonable and/or possible for you may not be so for someone graduating high school/college today.

Starting with the millennial generation and carrying through even stronger to today's young generation, people tend to be much more accepting of living with parents until they have a solid base to get on their feet. There's also the fact that we're much more multi-cultural these days, and people from many foreign countries (particular the ones immigrating here in heavy numbers) never really had the cultural expectation to get out of the house ASAP like Americans did to begin with, so naturally we're going to see higher numbers of children staying with parents due to that alone. To note, that American phenomena really only materialized post-WW2 and is an anomaly in history...not the norm.

[Caballoflaco]

“We have to stop any kind of affordable housing or multi family residences being built around here because they’re full of trashy poor people and crime”

“Why don’t kids move out of the house when they’re 18 like I did?

[TGS]

“We have to stop any kind of affordable housing or multi family residences being built around here because they’re full of trashy poor people and crime”

“Why don’t kids move out of the house when they’re 18 like I did?

Cue the "Old Economy Steve" memes.

[Paul D]

My wife was born and raised in Hawaii. When I visit there, a lot of young adults still lived with their parents or in-laws. Housing has always been difficult to afford in that state. I always thought it was weird but not to them. I totally understood that finding an affordable home was hard. When I asked them why they don't seek their fortune and opportunity on the mainland. Now they look at me like I'm weird. It's like I asked them to move to South Africa or something.

My son is 17 and smart. He wants to compete to make it in the world. He is not dumb and will take any advantage or assistance to beat out every other Asian boy who has the same dreams. I will help him compete financially, but he damn knows he has to do the rest. His parents' love is unconditional and boundless; but understands that our financial patronage is not. I hope this works.

[DDTSGM]

The parents reap what sow, should have raised them better or simply say NO and cut them off

I think some parents want their children to be dependent. I know kids that are 40-50 years old and mom and dad are still paying their bills. I look at it as its my job to make it so my children don't need me. I moved out at 18 and never turned back. My wife and I have been independent since her first quarter of college. At one point I wanted my kid to stay in our town and go the local university so she could live at home. I want her to learn to be independent and be able to survive without me. I wont live forever.

Not exactly on the topic but close:

The other day I was in a local convenience store and was in line behind a 40ish guy who had the kind of tats that you do with a needle and graphite on his arms. He was buying a twelve pack of Coors Lite, a couple packs of generic smokes and a Mountain Dew. His card wasn't working, so he takes out his phone and calls someone: 'Mom, my card doesn't work.' He listens and then says: 'You tell him' and hands the phone to the clerk.

About that time another clerk walked into the store and opened the other register (more on that) and I was able to pay for my iced tea and leave. I asked the cab driver setting out front if he was waiting for the guy at the register 'yeah, I've been running him around today'

Not sure if the guy is a burn out or what, but it sure looked and sounded as if he was dependent on mom.

Completely unrelated to the topic at hand, the convenience store I was in is a chain called Kwik Shop. Another company 'EG something' purchased the chain from Kroger's a year or so ago. It's been kind of sad to watch the local stores go to absolute shit. Whereas Kroger's would staff with three or even four clerks at this store, the new owners staff with one or two. As a result the restrooms aren't cleaned, the trash cans outside are rarely emptied, the stores are constantly out of supplies (although, to be fair, that could be supply chain) and so on.

It's sad to see.

[Darth_Uno]

His parents' love is unconditional and boundless; but understands that our financial patronage is not.

Oh I’m stealing that.

I’ve told my son, 15, that it’s financially prudent to stay home and save as much as possible. But he only gets a free ride if he’s doing something productive, such as either going to school or working towards a career. And bumming around with a part time minimum wage job doesn’t count. Fortunately, he has loftier goals.

My (follow along) wife’s dad’s stepson is about my age and still lives at home. This guy is almost 40, and has zero marketable skills. Even if he wanted to move out, he’s really in a position that most people are when they’re 18-20.

[Duelist]

My daughter is turning 26 this year and lives at home. She has a degree that she got debt-free due to scholarships and an education savings fund her grandparents and we contributed to. She works full-time, has her own health insurance from work, has a car she paid for and pays her own insurance on, and pays us a token rent. She has more cash in her savings account than I do, though I have a lot more in retirement accounts. She may move out someday. She may not. Has little desire to date or have a relationship, so little motivation for privacy from parents.

Second brat lives out of state, and is struggling to finish a degree. Music major, wants to be a sound/recording engineer. Works at a Guitar Center, drives a car I own and pay insurance on, I pay for his phone account, and kid gets regular infusions of cash from home.

Different kids, different stages of life. What’s the big deal?