Picking self defense firearms for a wife who doesn't shoot.

[Frank500]

The Viking fire princess has had several small pistols. Not much interest in shooting them UNTIL she shot a p365. Part way through the first magazine she turns and asks “ does this come with a safety”?. I think she’s well over five thousand rounds with it. I’m now married to a Dillon 650...... We shoot the fall league, the winter league and dot torture all summer. Dang happy I have a casting machine to try and keep up.
Her best buddy got herself an Shield EZ. Compromised left arm made her decision.
Let her decide, go to an indoor range and rent.

[Wake27]

I don’t have time to watch the video right now so if all of the answers are in there, I’ll try to make time soon.

But I’ve never understood how people claim that revolvers are simple. From a pure mechanics standpoint, pulling the trigger is all you have to do but that’s the same as any striker fired gun without a manual safety. Everything else is more difficult in my experience though. Many are DA/SA (I think, all of the ones I’ve tried were). What is more complicated for mastering a trigger than essentially two different triggers in the same gun?

Even if we ignore that, most people that I’ve seen advocate revolvers only do so for CCW. The car (as in OP’s case), bedside, or other guns are usually something a little less last century. Does the grip translate from the CCW to the bedside gun? Or is it an entirely different grip that needs to be learned and maintained?

What about reloads? Is there anything simple about getting to your sixth shot on a revolver when compared to a striker fired gun? Even if the latter runs dry, is the revolver simpler to reload and get running again?

These are all genuine questions but for years I’ve wondered how people on this forum advocate revolvers for just about any purpose. Newish or at least non-practicing shooters is the most confusing case to me.

Most people on this forum can probably outshoot me at this point but I’ve taken a ton of new shooters to the range, many of them females that have never shown the slightest interest in guns (I took a number of girls that my wife cheered with when we were in college and finally got one of our best friends to go a few months ago). I always try to put them on a shot timer at the end, if they’re up for it. I’ve never brought a revolver out for any of them to try but there has been one present from other people on occasion. I’ve never had anyone prefer shooting a revolver after trying a few of my guns and I don’t even have a wide selection - Glock 19s, a 44 and 45, M&P 9, a .45 1911, and a 9mm 1911 are all I’ve ever owned. I had one prefer the .45 1911, all others preferred the M&P and then a factoryish Glock 19 in that order.


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[fixer]

My wife is not high in enthusiasm for shooting. But gets a decent number of rounds down range each year. She appreciates it as a freedom and a duty for protection. We have gone around the horn with all trigger types and platforms. In the end a plain G 17 is best. Simple, accurate, reliable, low maintenance, easily replaceable, easily servicable.

[CraigS]

....What about reloads? Is there anything simple about getting to your sixth shot on a revolver when compared to a striker fired gun? Even if the latter runs dry, is the revolver simpler to reload and get running again?...
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I shoot idpa matches and a few of the guys shoot revolvers. The really experienced guys do OK on reloads but they use specialized equipment to do it. Not only do the reloaders hold the 6 rounds in perfect shape to drop right into the cylinder but they also have mag pouches on their belt so they are handy to get to. Even w/ all the above, a mag into a semi auto gun is a lot faster and you get more than another 6 rounds for your effort.

[Elwin]

My wife leans pacifist and doesn’t like guns, but will acknowledge that it’s not a perfect world so they have their place. She has a PPQ she likes in a bedside safe, empty chamber and a spare mag since that’s how she wanted it set up.

She’s expressed a preference for manual safeties if she ever carries a gun. She has a 1911 that’s “hers” and likes it.

So if she ever gets more comfortable with guns and wants to make more use of them, she can choose between a pairing of the PPQ and the PPS we have lying around (I’m a big, big fan of its built in SCD for carry purposes and have reservations about letting new shooters loose to reholster a non-SCD, no manual safety striker), or a set of SAO manual safety HD and carry pistols. We can figure out if and when that happens what those guns would be.

It’s all up to her. I’ll only be setting basic parameters to guide towards quality, reliable, safe guns, and strongly suggesting she stick with one action type for everything she has. Otherwise, I’m just here to help and answer questions. She has to want to use them and be comfortable what she has to use. I think that’s the approach in all cases. Set minimum boundaries to exclude unacceptable options. Then help to find what works for them to get the right mix of safety, comfort, effectiveness, and convenience. Same thing as picking your own, just with someone who has less knowledge going in.

[JCN]

She shoots pretty well for someone who doesn’t shoot much - obviously she had a decent foundation. That said, why is a revolver in the picture at all? Much less one that is so different from the carry gun?

The relevance (utility) of revolvers based on skill level. I think his argument is sound.

Point and shoot double action .38 Specials.

But I’ve never understood how people claim that revolvers are simple. From a pure mechanics standpoint, pulling the trigger is all you have to do but that’s the same as any striker fired gun without a manual safety. Everything else is more difficult in my experience though. Many are DA/SA (I think, all of the ones I’ve tried were). What is more complicated for mastering a trigger than essentially two different triggers in the same gun?

Even if we ignore that, most people that I’ve seen advocate revolvers only do so for CCW. The car (as in OP’s case), bedside, or other guns are usually something a little less last century. Does the grip translate from the CCW to the bedside gun? Or is it an entirely different grip that needs to be learned and maintained?

What about reloads? Is there anything simple about getting to your sixth shot on a revolver when compared to a striker fired gun? Even if the latter runs dry, is the revolver simpler to reload and get running again?

These are all genuine questions but for years I’ve wondered how people on this forum advocate revolvers for just about any purpose. Newish or at least non-practicing shooters is the most confusing case to me.

I shoot idpa matches and a few of the guys shoot revolvers. The really experienced guys do OK on reloads but they use specialized equipment to do it. Not only do the reloaders hold the 6 rounds in perfect shape to drop right into the cylinder but they also have mag pouches on their belt so they are handy to get to. Even w/ all the above, a mag into a semi auto gun is a lot faster and you get more than another 6 rounds for your effort.

If people are interested these are my thoughts about revolvers. Some of it may be specific to our family situation and I am not recommending that to others necessarily.

1. Semi-autos for inexperienced shooters with weaker strength can jam more and be difficult to clear if hand strength is lacking. She had a Smith 380 EZ but grip safety activation was inconsistent for her.

2. I don’t think trigger weights over 8 pounds are viable for her. That Smith is about 7 pounds. That’s one thing that I feel needs to be addressed when discussing revolvers. Some are 13+ pound triggers. She actually liked the Smith trigger better than anything else she shot.

3. That particular Smith is an 8 shot which was done intentionally. When combined with light 38 special loads it’s very shootable for her in a gun that large. Revolvers are nice because you can shoot a variety of power ammunition without any difference in reliability. For semi autos you have to match recoil springs to ammo somewhat.

4. That revolver also has a Magna trigger as recommended by Mas Ayoob to theoretically reduce risk of our small child injuring herself or my wife getting disarmed and having it used against her.

My wife has probably been to the range less than 10 times. In the beginning, we spent time with Airsoft at home working on grip. Did some MantisX trigger presses too. Good fundamentals seem to be durable for her trigger presses on a variety of different firearms but without ongoing training, she doesn’t feel comfortable with complicated manuals of arms.

From that standpoint, revolvers seem reasonable. That being said, she liked the Maxim the most.

Here are two contextual videos.

The last time she went to the range almost three years ago.



That was with a Model 66 also with a Magna trigger.

Here’s a demonstration of how the Magna trigger works. If the ring isn’t on the finger it won’t fire.

[4RNR]

My sister has a Kahr PM9. I wanted her to have something and maybe with the ability to conceal carry if she chooses. She's not a shooter but has shot guns in the past. The problem is she only likes unrealistic guns. Desert Eagle .50, SW 500....etc..

I took her to the store and thought maybe some sort of J frame. Fits many roles. But she didn't like any of them. They looked too small for her. Settled on the PM9 (apparently doesn't look as small). This was 10 years ago. Since then she's shot it once when she first bought it.

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[David S.]

The revolver recommendation is for people who don't train and aren't going to train. They want something they can dump in a proverbial sock drawer and forget about. They're not concerned about quarter second splits, one second reloads or 25 yard bullseyes. They're not going to shoot it enough to need cleaning, and on the rare occasion they might, they'll have their spouse or friend do it for them. They're great for folks who'd be hard pressed to pass the most basic CHL class, no matter what you gave them.

We basically want a talisman that maximizes foolproofness at the expense of performance.

Some considerations:
-The revolver requires zero steps to check loaded status: just look at the back of the cylinder. The semi auto requires multiple steps in the correct order (remove the mag, rack the slide a couple times, inspect the chamber and mag). Not a big deal for someone with training and regular familiarization, but it's not trivial to get that sequence correct. every time.

-Semi autos are better at handling use. Revolvers are better at handling neglect.

-Hand strength applies to trigger weight and racking the slide. Which is worse, particularly in smaller framed guns?

-The barrier to ND that the long DA pull offers has already been mentioned.

These things may or may not apply to Mrs. JCN's specific context. I don't know. For many folks, they are worth considering.

[Clusterfrack]

The revolver recommendation is for people who don't train and aren't going to train.]

Agreed. I tried to show Mrs. CF the manual of arms of a Glock, and quickly decided that a revolver is the way to go for the reasons you stated. Avoiding NDs--especially friendly fire--is a big one.

But, after all that we've settled on Mrs. CF using a large can of OC spray for home defense.

[Totem Polar]

My wife has ZERO interest in shooting.

Many years ago I figured this out and based the home defense on the lowest skill set in the house, which was her. I made things as simple as possible.

Point and shoot double action .38 Specials.

There are a couple stashed in the house, and when she carries, she carries a J Frame 442. Not the easiest gun to shoot, but I keep it loaded with wadcutters for her and it's very easy to operate. When she feels she wants more, its a 4" Combat Masterpiece.

On the HD side, if some dude is breaking in, I figure I can use whatever I grab and its not likely to make much difference outcome wise, if I pick up a Model 15 .38 Special revolver or a G19, but it might make a huge difference for her, so that is why I keep the double action .38s available for her.

^^^Similar. Mrs Totem more or less fits into this category, though she admits that she appreciates my own training—and my training tribe:

My wife leans pacifist and doesn’t like guns, but will acknowledge that it’s not a perfect world so they have their place.

Combine all the above with the fact that I am a much more skilled revolver shooter than a semi-auto shooter (that’s not to say that I don’t appreciate the advantages of a good G17, just that I cut my teeth on wheelguns and have competed and taken a pile of classes with the round guns) and it’s a pretty simple solution. J and Ks, liberally applied. No kids/few visitors in the house these days.

The only exception to the lowest skillset deal was during riot season hereabouts, when local LE advised me to unlimber something more serious, just in case. Figuring no harm in being prepared, I did, but then went back to the same set up as you once things simmered down and the pro agitators went back to Oregon.

All that to say, revolvers still have a place, and shooters ranging from the old timers like Darryl to the whippersnappers like jetfire have codified the reasoning for anyone to peruse online.

Perhaps more germane to the OP: there was a period where I found myself holding the office of “go-to artsy liberal guy who knows this gun stuff,” in service to a word-of-mouth community of women looking to upgrade their personal safety. I think I sold 4 or 5 G42s based off that coaching, and letting uninitiated women try a sampling from the Totem safe, after the safety and legal classroom blocks. IIRC, everyone also liked the Denny-tuned NY-1 K-frame, but the 4” 64 is like holding a broadsword compared to the G42. A G42 is not my idea of a primary, but they are incredibly easy to shoot and carry, so there is that. The 42 and the NY-1 were the standout favorites—nobody liked the full-sized Glocks as much, for whatever reason.

At any rate, revolvers still have their narrow niche; let people choose, within the accepted standards of good sense. JMO.