Picking self defense firearms for a wife who doesn't shoot.

[JCN]

I'm interested to hear what people "chose" for their wives / significant others who aren't into shooting or don't want to train much.
I put "chose" in quotes because I don't "choose" anything for my wife... I give her options and choices that I think she might enjoy, but she makes the ultimate decisions.


My wife doesn't mind guns and appreciates that we can protect our family, but she just doesn't really care to train or practice.

She used to go to the range with me once a year to refresh her shooting skills and she has her CCW, but since COVID hit she hasn't shot a gun in a few years.

Picked a few new options she could potentially use in different scenarios and went to the range today together to make sure she could work them reasonably.



I put the target pretty close (5 yards) and used a FAM target instead of a standard FBI so it'd be agnostic to height over bore of sights at that distance. Happy wife, happy life.

Her favorite was the Maxim 9. That thing is pretty darn quiet. I picked that over a standard Glock because the slide is very easy to rack on the Maxim and she can do it no problem, it's wider and very grippy which makes pinching it easy.

What do your significant others that don't care for firearms pick for home defense or carry?

[Cookie Monster]

My wife is not interested at all. I got Heidi Smith to teach her for an hour with a Glock and steel targets. No interest.

My thought is you can’t choose for them.

[Clusterfrack]

My wife is not interested at all. I got Heidi Smith to teach her for an hour with a Glock and steel targets. No interest.

My thought is you can’t choose for them.

Like yours, my wife has no interest in guns or shooting them. But, she is terrified of cougars and bears. So, on our last two AK trips she carried a LCR9 with a green lasergrip. We settled on that because it is simple, safe, and she can shoot it pretty well. She does not enjoy shooting that gun at all, but doesn’t care.

[David S.]

Disregard, I watched the video after I posted.

[Wake27]

She shoots pretty well for someone who doesn’t shoot much - obviously she had a decent foundation. That said, why is a revolver in the picture at all? Much less one that is so different from the carry gun?

I had a Glock 19.4 and M&P 9 when I got my wife “into” shooting. The M&P was apex’d out and had a better trigger and the Glock was stippled aggressively so she chose the M&P. Obviously it’s a good gun (LE model that didn’t have the accuracy issues) but I do find that the grip angle, while more comfortable, makes it harder to control recoil.

There has to be a balance between comfort/simplicity and effectiveness in a gun fight. A lot of the guns that are pushed towards women are less successful in the latter.

At the end of the day, I’d make her choose what I use. Or at least a close variant that I would be comfortable using. I know more about guns than my wife, and while I want her to be comfortable with it and like it enough to use it, I’m also only going to give her the options that checks my boxes to try. I’d expect the same when she introduces me to horses.


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[breakingtime91]

My wife is interested, but it's not a priority and is into it because she wants to make me happy.. She really like the sig 365xl but with its light trigger I was a little hesitant. I got her a sig p239 dao, while she likes it and it has little recoil, her finger got tired quickly. I may still try to bring the weight down and smooth it out.

She really likes shooting her lightweight AR I built for her. Tiffany blue and everything.

[CraigS]

...She really like the sig 365xl but with its light trigger I was a little hesitant...

I am not surprised. In 2014 we moved to a carry state and immediately started looking at guns. Wife settled on a G19 and I on an M&P compact. I felt like both triggers were too light for edc so started working on that. The M&P ended up w/ an Apex duty/carry trigger kit and the G19 w/ a popular combination of NY trigger spring and a 3.5# connector. Both now have a 5-5.5# trigger. For me the important part of these new triggers is the initial 'take up all the slack' part of the pull. Both guns still have a wall that needs to be pulled through but the overall feel is more like the DA pull on our beretta 92s.

[David S.]

Coming back around.

The relevance (utility) of revolvers based on skill level. I think his argument is sound.



As someone who has negligently discharged a DA trigger gun, I'd just quibble with his phrase "difficult to negligently discharge." I would prefer a statement akin to "the long DA trigger provides an additional mechanical barrier to negligent discharge." But I otherwise like the assessment.

[fatdog]

Mrs. Fatdog was USAF trained and it was M9 from her first day to her retirement. She always did well on her quals but has never had enthusiasm for shooting. She would go to the range and do one practice session when a qual was coming up because she never wanted to look bad. Her CCW gun we settled on 30 years ago was a Bersa 380 which had the exact same controls/manual of arms, and was reasonably reliable but small. There was always a live M9 on her side of the bed at night that went back in the safe in the morning. I think the best thing that happened to her during her USAF years were the 4 deployments because that was when she had to learn to "live with the gun" 24x7 for many months.

After her retirement, I got her to go to the range one day and she tried a host of things I laid out for her, with the suggestion she might want to divorce the Beretta and adopt something different, she did.

She picked the HK USP/c LEM with a manual ambi safety. She wanted to shoot a USAF qual with it that day and shot the best score she ever had. She will still only go practice once every 3 years, but she is pretty competent with it by the low .mil standards for people outside combat arms units. We sold all the Beretta 92's because I have never cared for them at all.

From her experience and from teaching dozens of ladies in entry level classes the last 20 years, I have come to the firm conclusion that it is folly for us to make assumptions and pick the preferred defensive handgun for others, male or female. Once they have the basic skills, letting them try things and find what they want is always the best approach for those folks who are not going to put in the time like we would. Finding the gun they are going to safely "live with" meaning all of their gun handling, and actually carrying it or deploying it is probably more crucial than anything.

[Lost River]

My wife has ZERO interest in shooting.

Many years ago I figured this out and based the home defense on the lowest skill set in the house, which was her. I made things as simple as possible.

Point and shoot double action .38 Specials.

There are a couple stashed in the house, and when she carries, she carries a J Frame 442. Not the easiest gun to shoot, but I keep it loaded with wadcutters for her and it's very easy to operate. When she feels she wants more, its a 4" Combat Masterpiece.

On the HD side, if some dude is breaking in, I figure I can use whatever I grab and its not likely to make much difference outcome wise, if I pick up a Model 15 .38 Special revolver or a G19, but it might make a huge difference for her, so that is why I keep the double action .38s available for her.