Rule #1 is take care of yourself, and take responsibility for your children.
Rule #2 is penicillin is not what it used to be.
I wish you the best.
Rule #1 is take care of yourself, and take responsibility for your children.
Rule #2 is penicillin is not what it used to be.
I wish you the best.
Paraphrasing Wyatt Earp: The first shot is twice as important as the second shot, the 2nd shot is twice as important as the 3rd shot, the 3rd shot is twice as important as the 4th shot, the 4th shot is twice as important as the 5th shot…
Thanks everyone, I really like this place because the gun content but I keep coming back for the people. We are going to seek out a new attorney, I know of a good one in the area. We are documenting prior encounters, looking through texts, and have a solid game plan going forward. Previous posts pointed out something I knew but had to hear again, there is no understanding the irrational or people in general. I feel fortunate that I have had bad experiences in my life, especially when it comes to violence, where I avoid it when possible and am polite to everyone. Makes it a lot easier for me to keep my nose clean and sense about me.
OP, what state do you reside in? I don't post much here, as I believe in keeping mouth shut and ears open. I have learned much. Unfortunately you are in my wheelhouse. Your story is nothing unusual. I have dealt with these situations 100's of times. I have been a divorce attorney for over 33 years in CA-Now retired. The first right of refusal is a recipe for disaster and many judges have figured it out, but judges are not very smart.
If you are in CA, I may be able to give you some advice. If not, you need to interview some qualified, competent family law attorneys who practice exclusively in the court where the case is pending. You need an attorney who is not only qualified, but knows the court personnel and the proclivities of the judge. Over the years we have had to deal with judges who were anti LEO and others who were pro LEO.
Once you find the right attorney, they should discuss a game plan to get you and your wife a positive result. As I told my clients, your life is a game. You need to play to win, and that is the reason for the game plan. You will need to think 3 moves down the row and have contingency plans for sideways issues. So far it sounds like you are making so good moves. Remember, anything you write, you are writing for a judge to review, so be careful with texts and emails. I have taken the most benign emails and made them look threatening, so caution is the word. Social media is a killer. I have destroyed many due to their social media. Keep that in mind.
I can argue and put together a good case for your wife or her ex. You don't want to be the reason that causes her grief, so the less involvement the better. There are things that can worked on behind the scenes. That is all I will say, because if you aren't in CA, I am not qualified.
Cheers, Steve
One way I've heard recently is people discovering someone has tracked them via AirTags. If the dude uses an iPhone and you don't I see if someone would let you borrow their phone since I believe iPhones will alert you if you move around and it detects an AirTag nearby moving with you that isn't synced to the phone.Originally Posted by 37th Mass
ETA - hope everything works out for yall
We have recently had a couple of cases using AirTags discovered by the victim's iPhone owning friends.
pat
I am not a lawyer nor a parent and therefore not qualified to give specific advice.
I will just point out that the recent front yard shooting covered here was over child custody.
Code Name: JET STREAM
Question for the lawyers here, isn't something documented with an attorney more of a legal thing than just He Said / She Said after the fact? Like communications between you and your lawyer have a better standing than just a saved text message or something like that?
@Jim Watson's post raises one worst-case scenario that I'm sure @breakingtime91 is already losing sleep over. Here's another: Ex convinces daughters to say their new dad "touched them", so their mom and "real dad" can get back together again.
Does anyone have suggestions for mitigating these risks?
“There is no growth in the comfort zone.”--Jocko Willink
"You can never have too many knives." --Joe Ambercrombie
While I do worry about certain scenarios, I am very much neutral and don't take the lead when dealing with stuff when it comes to him. I know the dangers of emotional people and stay very diplomatic and non confrontational. I also maintain boundaries with my step kids (things like baths, helping get dressed, etc) to avoid risks of him twisting something. I attribute that to being a male teacher, I take the same steps to never be a lone in a room with a single student and do a side hug (hips pointed away from student). While I worry about all scenarios, the main thing that worries me is his survallence of my wife. We are just gonna cover our butts, be polite, and live our lives While maintaining a more security high posture (keeping records/cameras/etc)
At any given time, a portion of my cases involve this issue. It's a nightmare for all involved, no matter what and is financially devastating due to the amount of work it takes to address the allegations. Counselors are mandatory reporters, among others, of course. If someone has concerns about this scenario, I usually advise proactively getting the kids involved in counseling. If kids are young, a certified play therapist is a good idea. They will be point of contact for any investigator. If there were any prior organic concerns of abuse they would have previously made a "hotline", so that can help frame the allegation as potentially false if no reports had previously been made. In this instance, technology and home video monitoring can be very helpful as well. Very often, false allegations are associated with diagnosed or undiagnosed mental health issues. If your ex is one of these, or has a past personal history of abuse, be on guard!!
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