Older Offspring has been at college for almost a month, and she had an... encounter the other day, which kind of rattled her. After speaking to her, it seems (long story short) that the guy was just a clod who was inept with women and come on a little too strong that just got a little creepy for my daughter, especially since he was much bigger than her, and nothing ended up happening. I'm trying not to go all over-protective dad and get @
SouthNarc on the phone for a private lesson for her. I was able to get her settled down, so she feels better now. Some specific advice I gave her:
1) Trust your "spider sense": if something feels "creepy," take action. Don't ever ignore the spider sense.
2) Work on your "playlist." Rehearse ahead of time things to say, everything variations on "I acknowledge what you said, but no."
"That's sweet/I'm flattered, but I'm good." (Nicest)
"Thank you, but I'm good."
"No, I'm good."
"No. If I need something, I'll call Public Safety."
Etc.
3) Once she has her playlist down, start watching for other things: does the guy still keep trying to get closer, does he try to give you a drink, does he have a buddy trying to move around to the side/flank, etc.
A couple other things I keep thinking about
:
1) Older Offspring is on the Autism spectrum; high-functioning, but still. She's also a very young freshman. In addition, she's never had a guy come on to her before, even a well-intentioned one. I told her that this will happen again. She's cute, she's funny, and guys will express interest, with varying degrees of smoothness. Be prepared for it.
2) I don't remember which trainer (@
John Murphy maybe?), said that, when things start to go south, women need to get more violent much more quickly then men. All of a sudden, I'm not sure I've prepared my daughter for the "what if words don't work" scenario.
Anything else I can do without going ballistic (figuratively and literally)? I'm thinking some pepper spray with some training might be the next appropriate step.