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Thread: I think I'm burned out

  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by MGW View Post
    @Casual Friday and @rob_s your posts about family, hobbies, and particularly investing all free time into the kids activities hits close to home. It was a big contributor to my recent divorce. The last 10 years of a 25 year marriage was only held together because our kids activities were able to distract us from addressing our own issues. What free time we did have was spent encouraging each other to pursue our own hobbies.

    And now thinking this through I think it’s probably a huge contributing factor to my current lack of interest in shooting. It’s not like I’m doing nothing. I’m still doing Jits every week and I’ve added a running club that has me putting in 12-15 miles per week.
    I think you’re worn out.

    Doing Jiu Jitsu 2-3 days week killed me shooting for about a year or two. I didn’t not like guns anymore - I just didn’t find my interest in them.

    I jokingly said “It scratches my need for violence” to my wife. But, it is a very martial skill. I’d say if you’re doing Jiu Jitsu 2-3 days a week that’s probably 7-10 hours. Not including travel time. If you’re running as well that’s another 3-5 hours (looking at prep time, travel time, etc.). You are shooting to that and you’re spending 20-ish hours a week on training.

    I stopped doing Jiu Jitsu because of the toll it was taking on my marriage and having kids (less than 1 year old). Seriously. Once we had kids, etc. I realized being out of the house 3 days a week was rough on the marriage.

    I once asked the couples at a Jiu Jitsu Christmas party how they maintained a happy marriage. Unanimously of the guys wives who would come they were either A.) pissed off at their husband or B.) they had no kids and had time for their hobbies and each other.

    I saw that as a sign.

    ETA:

    There are exemptions, but that was my experience. There was a single family that did Jiu Jitsu together husband, wife, and kids.
    Last edited by BWT; 07-10-2021 at 11:40 AM.
    God Bless,

    Brandon

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by BWT View Post
    I think you’re worn out.

    Doing Jiu Jitsu 2-3 days week killed me shooting for about a year or two. I didn’t not like guns anymore - I just didn’t find my interest in them.

    I jokingly said “It scratches my need for violence” to my wife. But, it is a very martial skill. I’d say if you’re doing Jiu Jitsu 2-3 days a week that’s probably 7-10 hours. Not including travel time. If you’re running as well that’s another 3-5 hours (looking at prep time, travel time, etc.). You are shooting to that and you’re spending 20-ish hours a week on training.

    I stopped doing Jiu Jitsu because of the toll it was taking on my marriage and having kids (less than 1 year old). Seriously. Once we had kids, etc. I realized being out of the house 3 days a week was rough on the marriage.

    I once asked the couples at a Jiu Jitsu Christmas party how they maintained a happy marriage. Unanimously of the guys wives who would come they were either A.) pissed off at their husband or B.) they had no kids and had time for their hobbies and each other.

    I saw that as a sign.

    ETA:

    There are exemptions, but that was my experience. There was a single family that did Jiu Jitsu together husband, wife, and kids.
    ^^Truth

    I used to race cars and spent almost every weekend out of town in the RV. I would tow 25,000 miles a year competing. Was fine because my wife used to race too and it was something we did together.

    But we were family planning and I knew those days would come to an end, it would just be too much time away from home and for what?

    So about a year before my wife got pregnant I started transitioning to shooting as a hobby.

    Because I practice at home without travel time or take 10 min to go to a local range or an hour to go to a match that’d be done by 1pm.

    It was remarkably family friendly. I could dry fire while my kid napped or ate. That evolved into spending together time with her.

    I never planned on making GM. I didn’t think it was possible with all my other commitments and I’m not willing to compromise the things that are actually important to me like family and work responsibilities.

    But with just a little fun dry practice daily and some focus on how to improve quickly and efficiently, here I am sitting at 94.9% with low scores ready to drop off.

    Working WITHIN your existing commitments can lead to extreme creativity and success when you’re time limited.

    And aren’t we all when it comes down to it?

  3. #103
    Site Supporter Clobbersaurus's Avatar
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    This is an interesting thread and relevant to my experience this year. I’ve done pretty well and worked very hard in the last 5 years at IPSC. Made production master and won provincials in 2019 and I was ready and motivated to kick ass in 2020 and despite all provincial IPSC matches being cancelled, I trained hard. Daily dry fire, weekly movement drills and weekly live fire. I wanted to make GM and win Provincials again. None of that happened due to covid. By September I was pretty burned out and ready to take a month off. With no matches on the horizon, my motivation fell and despite almost daily dry fire, I did not hit the range for months.

    Now I have a chance at one IPSC match later this year and my motivation is back. Which tells me I’m more motivated by competition than by shooting. I’m perfectly okay with that, and it was a good learning experience. Competition is why I train - the desire to do well against my peers motivates me.

    Cool. I learned something.


    Quote Originally Posted by Maple Syrup Actual View Post
    I will say that I always hated competitive shooting, for exactly the reasons outlined above: I get so fucking bored standing around waiting to shoot, I'm about to crawl out of my skin.
    I’ve seen you write this before and I just wanted to make a small point. And please don’t take this the wrong way, because I know some of the courses you’ve taken, so I’m sure your gun handling skills are better than 99.9% of most folk who consider themselves competent shooters.

    If you are shooting a match at a reasonably high level, the process you should be following to win said match should not allow for any boredom. When I am done a match I am mentally exhausted. From the time the key turns over in the car, until the last round is fired for the day, it’s total mental work. Visualization, gear prep, stage planning, visualization, visualization, visualization, process check, nutrition, gear prep, more visualization.

    The more you progress in shooting competition, the level of work needed at each match only increases. There’s simply no time for boredom.
    "Next time somebody says USPSA or IPSC is all hosing, junk punch them." - Les Pepperoni
    --

  4. #104
    Site Supporter Maple Syrup Actual's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clobbersaurus View Post
    This is an interesting thread and relevant to my experience this year. I’ve done pretty well and worked very hard in the last 5 years at IPSC. Made production master and won provincials in 2019 and I was ready and motivated to kick ass in 2020 and despite all provincial IPSC matches being cancelled, I trained hard. Daily dry fire, weekly movement drills and weekly live fire. I wanted to make GM and win Provincials again. None of that happened due to covid. By September I was pretty burned out and ready to take a month off. With no matches on the horizon, my motivation fell and despite almost daily dry fire, I did not hit the range for months.

    Now I have a chance at one IPSC match later this year and my motivation is back. Which tells me I’m more motivated by competition than by shooting. I’m perfectly okay with that, and it was a good learning experience. Competition is why I train - the desire to do well against my peers motivates me.

    Cool. I learned something.




    I’ve seen you write this before and I just wanted to make a small point. And please don’t take this the wrong way, because I know some of the courses you’ve taken, so I’m sure your gun handling skills are better than 99.9% of most folk who consider themselves competent shooters.

    If you are shooting a match at a reasonably high level, the process you should be following to win said match should not allow for any boredom. When I am done a match I am mentally exhausted. From the time the key turns over in the car, until the last round is fired for the day, it’s total mental work. Visualization, gear prep, stage planning, visualization, visualization, visualization, process check, nutrition, gear prep, more visualization.

    The more you progress in shooting competition, the level of work needed at each match only increases. There’s simply no time for boredom.
    Yeah again I'm wired pretty differently.

    That whole process is extremely, extremely boring for me.

    It's like having to write 5000 lines on a chalkboard on a Saturday... it's not that there's time to do absolutely nothing. You have to be doing something. Your time is spoken for. It's just that the tasks between shooting don't hold my attention, at all, and the experience of being there is just totally uninteresting to me.
    This is a thread where I built a boat I designed and which I very occasionally update with accounts of using it, which is really fun as long as I'm not driving over logs and blowing up the outboard.
    https://pistol-forum.com/showthread....ilding-a-skiff

  5. #105
    Site Supporter Clobbersaurus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maple Syrup Actual View Post
    Yeah again I'm wired pretty differently.

    That whole process is extremely, extremely boring for me.

    It's like having to write 5000 lines on a chalkboard on a Saturday... it's not that there's time to do absolutely nothing. You have to be doing something. Your time is spoken for. It's just that the tasks between shooting don't hold my attention, at all, and the experience of being there is just totally uninteresting to me.
    Roger that. I don’t particularly enjoy the match process either, but I HATE not doing well at matches, so I don’t really have any choice.

    I do love dry fire though, or have come to love it, probably even more than live fire, which makes no sense, even to me.
    "Next time somebody says USPSA or IPSC is all hosing, junk punch them." - Les Pepperoni
    --

  6. #106
    Quote Originally Posted by JCN View Post
    ^^Truth

    I used to race cars and spent almost every weekend out of town in the RV. I would tow 25,000 miles a year competing. Was fine because my wife used to race too and it was something we did together.

    But we were family planning and I knew those days would come to an end, it would just be too much time away from home and for what?

    So about a year before my wife got pregnant I started transitioning to shooting as a hobby.

    Because I practice at home without travel time or take 10 min to go to a local range or an hour to go to a match that’d be done by 1pm.

    It was remarkably family friendly. I could dry fire while my kid napped or ate. That evolved into spending together time with her.

    I never planned on making GM. I didn’t think it was possible with all my other commitments and I’m not willing to compromise the things that are actually important to me like family and work responsibilities.

    But with just a little fun dry practice daily and some focus on how to improve quickly and efficiently, here I am sitting at 94.9% with low scores ready to drop off.

    Working WITHIN your existing commitments can lead to extreme creativity and success when you’re time limited.

    And aren’t we all when it comes down to it?
    That's pretty cool to hear/read. Sitting at home now with a 1 month old baby(our first) and questioning how will I be able to maintain fitness and shooting(in that order).

    Been thinking more dryfire is the key. Once we get her on a more regular schedule I'll figure out how to layer in some live sessions at the local indoor range.

    Thanks for your post.

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by littlejerry View Post
    That's pretty cool to hear/read. Sitting at home now with a 1 month old baby(our first) and questioning how will I be able to maintain fitness and shooting(in that order).

    Been thinking more dryfire is the key. Once we get her on a more regular schedule I'll figure out how to layer in some live sessions at the local indoor range.

    Thanks for your post.
    USPSA has been really good for me as an outlet.
    It adds camaraderie, a little bit of movement, trackable improvement and a high level of performance standard.

    Plus, the vast majority of the sport can be practiced dry if you’re honest with yourself in feedback.

    Check out my training journals for examples (I did wind up making GM recently).

    I’m finding that giving back to the community helping with informal coaching has helped scratch my itch of development so if you ever want to do a training journal together, I have lots of baby friendly ideas that won’t scare the babysitter, lol.

  8. #108
    Revolvers Revolvers 1911s Stephanie B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yung View Post
    If you don't want to go to matches or classes any more because you don't enjoy them anymore, then you shouldn't.
    If it's not fun and if you're not getting paid for it, then why do it? Shooting for most of us (me, definitely) is a hobby, not a job.
    If we have to march off into the next world, let us walk there on the bodies of our enemies.

  9. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie B View Post
    If it's not fun and if you're not getting paid for it, then why do it? Shooting for most of us (me, definitely) is a hobby, not a job.
    I think that’s valid, but there are a lot of hobbies that are deeply satisfying AFTER getting through the initial learning phase suckage. Kind of like relationships, sometimes you have to work through the stuff that’s not great to get to the real stuff.

    Of course there are definitely hobbies and relationships that just aren’t worth the investment. Just posting a nuance out.

  10. #110
    Deadeye Dick Clusterfrack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JCN View Post
    I think that’s valid, but there are a lot of hobbies that are deeply satisfying AFTER getting through the initial learning phase suckage. Kind of like relationships, sometimes you have to work through the stuff that’s not great to get to the real stuff.

    Of course there are definitely hobbies and relationships that just aren’t worth the investment. Just posting a nuance out.
    I think this is a great point. Some activities are only fun after you reach a basic level of mastery. Here's the short list of things that took at least a year (and in some cases a lot longer) before I started really having fun with them:

    Skiing
    Mountain biking
    Surfing
    BJJ
    Long range rifle shooting
    USPSA
    "You can never have too many knives." --Joe Ambercrombie
    Shabbat shalom, motherf***ers! --Mordechai Jefferson Carver

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