I think I'm burned out

[JCN]

She's 4. At that age, kids just want to be around their parents, and she'd likely be just as happy watching you build little ships inside of bottles or some other boring hobby that some people do. I was rebuilding an old Harley when my oldest was 4 and she spent a lot of nights with me in the shop while Mom was at work. When my youngest was 4, I was remodeling an investment property and she spent a lot of time there with me.

That is exactly my point, thank you!

We designed the hobby around me being able to be with her rather than spending a lot of time away from her. It could have been piano playing or musical theater or whatever. But instead of modeling after sitting on the couch as our together time, she understands that we can have fun and together time while I'm working on progress as well.

Could have been any number of other hobbies. That was my point. It's as fun as doing whatever random thing dads do... but with a result.

Instead of a kid sitting at home playing video games, he / she could be doing a physical sport that actually gains them skill at something that might transfer to real life.

Depends on the "why" of what you're doing. What are you ultimately gaining by becoming a GM? How is it going to benefit you? Will your life improve in some way? Will it degrade if you don't become GM?

Lets look at this in terms of weight lifting. I used to be really goal oriented when it came to lifting weights. I looked at the numbers as being really important. When I would load 315 on the bar and rep that shit out on the bench like a fuckin boss I felt like King Kong on cocaine. But outside of a few lifting friends and people at the gym, nobody gave a fuck and it really didn't matter until someone needed help moving or something. I don't regret the years of lifting, you don't get old man strong without putting in the work when you're young, but now I just focus on staying strong and not getting injured.

Again, I'm agreeing with you. Nobody in life gives a fuck if I make GM or not. If you were on a weightlifting forum, they might give half a fuck about your weightlifting. Or they might not if it was a weightlifting forum filled with people who used to lift weights decades ago and gave current advice like "you could step away from weights for a few years and you wouldn't lose much skill."

Agreeing again with you very much. GM for me isn't a goal as much as a reflection of the process and the process is what's exciting to me.

@Trooper224 it's the process that I enjoy as a student of things. Figuring out stuff and having the proof of concept that I actually did figure it out.

My life improves because I find joy and happiness in growth. My daughter will learn that success in career and hobbies doesn't have to be painful or exclude family closeness.

I can assure you that nobody cares about your disappointment. You're trying to force your own definition of "Teachers and students of the pistol" instead of acknowledging that being a student of something isn't the same for everyone. You're also not taking into consideration that many PF members have been in the same place dedication wise that you find yourself in now. When you make GM, I'll clap and congratulate you, and I'll mean it, but I'll go back to forgetting you existed as soon as I log off PF and I won't remember you until I log back on some time later. That's not a personal dig or even directed at you, just how I manage internet people in my life.

Working, fitness, learning, shooting, relationships, family, are areas of my life that I strive to keep in balance. When I focus too much on one, the others suffer. Becoming a GM in USPSA would be cool, and PF would be really proud of me, but it really wouldn't benefit my wife or my kids in any way. Nobody I do work for would send me more contracts because of it. It doesn't mean that I won't be happy for someone else who achieves something great like that, I just don't feel any pressure or need for it for myself.

Yes, you could define "student" like the kid who skips school and doesn't learn crap but is technically a "student" because he shows up. But he's not mentally present.

My definition would be different, you are correct. Others don't have to share it.

GM's just part of the process. It's really about the fun and confidence to be able to look at something and shoot it more accurately and quickly than I ever thought possible. And that's fun for me.

Going to matches are like going to bowling league. But if I was going to hang out in a bowling forum for students of bowling, I wouldn't expect the predominant sentiment to be about people who bowl 90s and throw two handed between their legs, no matter if in a former life they were a pro bowler.

For fucks sake, this is what ToddG posted the purpose of the TRAINING JOURNALS section was for:

The Training Journals area has been created so that members can keep a public, online "range diary" to encompass live & dry fire training, class experiences, match performance, and any other activity related to shooting.

They were supposed to be about shooting, not 10:1 ratio of biking and deadlifts to shooting posts as it currently is in the training section.

But maybe those guys used to train in shooting so their current shooting journals don't have to have anything about shooting, amirite?

Different strokes and in 2021 culture everything is okay if it makes you feel okay, right?

[Ed L]

This forum is for "Teachers and students of the pistol."

I wouldn't have expected all the "play hooky and drop out of school" comments.

Kind of disappointed with it (not that my opinion should hold any weight).

So if someone decides that they want to take a break from competing or shooting, are they no longer welcome on the forum?

[Caballoflaco]

@JCN I appreciate your enthusiasm as a new shooter, it’s cool to see somebody so stoked to learn. I also understand your frustration in not having a large group of people here pushing each other to find that next .05 of a second improvement.

Part of the problem is that forums have been dying a slow death for quite a few years now and a whole bunch of people still involved have been participating in them since the early 2000’s. I think I first started using forums in 2003 or 4. I don’t remember. Most of the “young blood” and folks who are still hard charging are on other media like Instagram or Facebook groups. As they say, it is what it is.

Also, I’ve been shooting guns of some sort since I was 8 and got my first pellet gun. In 30 years of shooting I’ve left the hobby and come back to it a few times due to waning interest or lack of budget to shoot etc. I’d be willing to bet that in 2046 when you’ve been doing it for the same amount of time you’ll tell people it’s ok to take a break too. Plus, who wants to shoot with a dude who isn’t having fun? Those guys always sucked to squad with.

[breakingtime91]

That is exactly my point, thank you!

We designed the hobby around me being able to be with her rather than spending a lot of time away from her. It could have been piano playing or musical theater or whatever. But instead of modeling after sitting on the couch as our together time, she understands that we can have fun and together time while I'm working on progress as well.

Could have been any number of other hobbies. That was my point. It's as fun as doing whatever random thing dads do... but with a result.

Instead of a kid sitting at home playing video games, he / she could be doing a physical sport that actually gains them skill at something that might transfer to real life.




Again, I'm agreeing with you. Nobody in life gives a fuck if I make GM or not. If you were on a weightlifting forum, they might give half a fuck about your weightlifting. Or they might not if it was a weightlifting forum filled with people who used to lift weights decades ago and gave current advice like "you could step away from weights for a few years and you wouldn't lose much skill."

Agreeing again with you very much. GM for me isn't a goal as much as a reflection of the process and the process is what's exciting to me.

@Trooper224 it's the process that I enjoy as a student of things. Figuring out stuff and having the proof of concept that I actually did figure it out.

My life improves because I find joy and happiness in growth. My daughter will learn that success in career and hobbies doesn't have to be painful or exclude family closeness.




Yes, you could define "student" like the kid who skips school and doesn't learn crap but is technically a "student" because he shows up. But he's not mentally present.

My definition would be different, you are correct. Others don't have to share it.

GM's just part of the process. It's really about the fun and confidence to be able to look at something and shoot it more accurately and quickly than I ever thought possible. And that's fun for me.

Going to matches are like going to bowling league. But if I was going to hang out in a bowling forum for students of bowling, I wouldn't expect the predominant sentiment to be about people who bowl 90s and throw two handed between their legs, no matter if in a former life they were a pro bowler.

For fucks sake, this is what ToddG posted the purpose of the TRAINING JOURNALS section was for:



They were supposed to be about shooting, not 10:1 ratio of biking and deadlifts to shooting posts as it currently is in the training section.

But maybe those guys used to train in shooting so their current shooting journals don't have to have anything about shooting, amirite?

Different strokes and in 2021 culture everything is okay if it makes you feel okay, right?

I can't remember the thread but it was years ago where we discussed how fitness is just as important as shooting a pistol. You can score a 95+ on a b8 at 25 timed? Cool. Doesn't really matter if you're out of shape, fat, and get your ass kicked before the shooting really matter. If you watch Active Self protection, there is a common denominator in those videos, from LE to private citizen. There is a lot of movement and it seems like a lot of time the quicker you are, whether its from the holster or on your feet you will win. Fitness plays into it. Being able to shoot is one part of winning a fight, probably the smallest. Mindset, physical fitness, mental acuity, and emotional fitness are much more important past a certain point of shooting ability.

Guess what build fortitude? Pushing yourself past your comfort zone physically and mentally. Shooting can do it also but only to a degree.

[JCN]

So if someone decides that they want to take a break from competing or shooting, are they no longer welcome on the forum?

No, I’d expect people to try and talk them out of it or at least first probe how they could make it more fun rather than the immediate and prevailing sentiment to be “yeah bail, it won’t matter to your skills.”

@JCN I appreciate your enthusiasm as a new shooter, it’s cool to see somebody so stoked to learn. I also understand your frustration in not having a large group of people here pushing each other to find that next .05 of a second improvement.

Part of the problem is that forums have been dying a slow death for quite a few years now and a whole bunch of people still involved have been participating in them since the early 2000’s. I think I first started using forums in 2003 or 4. I don’t remember. Most of the “young blood” and folks who are still hard charging are on other media like Instagram or Facebook groups. As they say, it is what it is.

Also, I’ve been shooting guns of some sort since I was 8 and got my first pellet gun. In 30 years of shooting I’ve left the hobby and come back to it a few times due to waning interest or lack of budget to shoot etc. I’d be willing to bet that in 2046 when you’ve been doing it for the same amount of time you’ll tell people it’s ok to take a break too. Plus, who wants to shoot with a dude who isn’t having fun? Those guys always sucked to squad with.

Ah. That makes sense. I had resisted Instagram and Facebook but maybe that’s where the active students are.

I just hate to see PF turning into IDPA.

Kids these days just don’t think Bill Wilson and Ken Hackathorne are all that.

[Totem Polar]

Post

Life is the most enjoyable for me when I have a good balance of everything. When I focus too much on me, it starts to show. When I don't focus enough on me, it shows as well.

I love you, man. #inanutshell #laconicwisdom

My god yes.

My wife and I notice a LOT of these couples we see that are so ate up with kid shit you just know that the adults are going to get to the end of that 20+ year stretch and wonder who the fuck that person is laying in bed next to them… [snip]

Time is the ultimate and most precious resource.

Double fucking love on this, my man. Brilliant, and full of experience, all of it.

There is a lot to like in your list. I dunno… I suppose I’ll just say that I dig it, and I have some miles on me. Always good to review, reevaluate, and revise as you go. At the risk of being presumptuous, I’ll post this vid, because it is vaguely, tangentially related to the concepts that you articulated so well. Plus, video candy:

It's not something I do to get away from my family, it's something that my daughter has learned to enjoy. She also is learning that nothing is gained without work and commitment... but that doesn't have to feel like a chore.

Lessons I want her to take with her as an adult…

…I've heard that from many successful people that they role modeled after their parents and what kind of role model would I be if I just sat on the couch picking my ass?

Absolutely. I also love this.

This forum is for "Teachers and students of the pistol."

I wouldn't have expected all the "play hooky and drop out of school" comments.

Kind of disappointed with it (not that my opinion should hold any weight).

Others have noted that most of us are still teachers and students of the pistol. The thing about burnout is this: we burn out fastest on shit that doesn’t matter. This is part of accumulating wisdom, and spending the limited time we have, per Rob_S, above, wisely.

Driving the sub-5 second fast while connecting with your daughter is a great use of time. Standing around for hours just to shoot a leg…. Hell, if I wanted to wait 2 hours for less than 2 minutes up to bat, I’d just pop a viagra.

For sure. I just didn’t expect it to be the dominant sentiment here.

FWIW, the dominant sentiment here is not fucking around wasting time.

To pick on myself for a sec, I posted an “I’m burned missive,” upthread, in response to my buddy MSA’s comments about competition. I stand by what I said, but guess what? In December, I’m pretty sure that MSA will be holding a camera on me at some point as I get squashed flatter than 3-day old Guiness in a plastic solo cup by the likes of Tim Kennedy at a training event.

And, clusterfrack will most likely squash me flatter than 3-day old coors at a church summer camp, at a Cecil summer camp.

This morning, I went hiking with a buddy of mine—a member here, inactive—as well as an ECQC alum. We spent the day talking about the family shit we have going on that is dominating our lives. It wasn’t about shooting, or ECQC, or jits or combatives: it was about humans and connection. But when I got home, there was a signal from him: “we need to take our shorts out for an outing” (my DDPDW and his MK18 M4gery). My response was “hell yes!” because it’s about the moments in our lives, and relationships. I’m not burned on shooting with friends and family; no way: rather, I’m burned on any sort of solipsistic, Mittyish “have to.”

All of which is to say, we are all probably closer to the same page, and certainly in the same book, than it might seem when one of us (eg. me) opens up a bitch session about how fucking stupid spending large amounts of time and money running drills is for us when the moments of our lives are ticking, and the faucet filling our relationship buckets is dripping love water onto the concrete.

Shoot to live.

You dry firing with your 4-year old qualifies, as surely as me dragging my burnout ass across three states to train with people that I have come to respect, like, and enjoy.

I hope all that makes sense.

[JCN]

Latest tactical grip mod. The yellow dinosaur.

USPSA matches are only fun because of the people.

They’re people I’d hang out with even without the shooting part.

We are probably on the same page @Totem Polar

[YVK]

For sure. I just didn’t expect it to be the dominant sentiment here.

The denominator is Members9,392Active Members1,622. Your own poll on dry fire, there are 71 respondents and only 10 with df routine over 20 min/day. I am not surprised with the responses; hell, I was one of those who suggested to quit.

I would imagine that many others are dealing with own apathy or different priorities. Motivation is a nuanced subject. I have told @GJM many times that I really admired his enthusiasm for shooting. If I had an opportunity to shoot every day, or most days of the week, like he created for himself and his better half, I probably wouldn't have been able to.

I take "students of the pistol" in a considerably broader context. Learning what the engagement angles and surfaces on 1911 ignition parts should do to a trigger pull is a study, as are many other things that have nothing to do with the technical shooting bit.



Going to dry fire now.

[peterb]

I wouldn't have expected all the "play hooky and drop out of school" comments.

Kind of disappointed with it (not that my opinion should hold any weight).

If the OP had said “I really want to get better but I’ve hit a plateau and I’m frustrated”, the answers would have been very different. “I don’t know how” and “I don’t care any more” are not the same problem.

The quest for expertise in a single activity is not the only path to fulfillment.

[rob_s]

@JCN I appreciate your enthusiasm as a new shooter, it’s cute to see somebody so stoked to learn.

Fixed it for you.