I was going to let this one die, but it seems to have struck a nerve so I will follow up after a bit of reflection, learning, and moving forward.
First of all I have the deepest respect for the professionals that do this everyday. As many of you have pointed out, this situation could have gone in many different directions. I was fortunate, but it still caused a flood of emotions, second guessing, and internalizing. I can’t imagine what it takes to do this on a daily basis.
In terms of the event itself, I am torn. I realize the value of staying in the vehicle, driving away, and reporting to police when safe. Hands down this is the best solution. However when I think about the other people in the parking lot, their faces, and what could have happened to them I am OK with my decision. Part of living in a society is working together to keep each other safe. Relying on the professionals is the best plan, but is not always an available plan. I saw older and vulnerable people being terrorized and trapped in a situation they could not escape. I made a decision, right or wrong to help, and I am prepared to deal with whatever outcomes may arise.
It also seems that the use of violence is somehow equated to being macho or making a display to impress others.I did not beat my chest, try to film the altercation or even exchange words with the other person. I tried to defuse the situation by the most efficient means at my disposal. When it was over I presented my ID to the authorities, answered their questions in a calm and respectful voice, and left when the interview was concluded. I did not stay around to high-five with other witnesses or get an Atta-boy. From my perspective, the level of violence used was in direct proportion to violence being displayed and no additional posturing or verbalizations were added to boost my ego.
Lastly I think my age has a lot to do with my emotions. As others have stated, if this incident happened in my twenties or thirties or maybe even my early 40’s I would have not given it a second thought. I would have gone home, told my friends, and we would have laughed about it over beers. Being in my 50’s, I guess I have more concern for my actions and their consequences. I think I am more apt to be embarrassed by my actions than I was as a younger man as my self-expectations for behavior are higher.
The lessons that I have learned are many. First and foremost is that I have become complacent in the neighborhood where I work. I need to remain vigilant and aware of my surroundings. Secondly, not only staying in the vehicle, but allowing for room to maneuver the vehicle is the best plan. If I need something on the way home, I will go to a safer location where things like this are less likely to happen. I have also begun to explore other available options for my safety and are both legal and have a smaller potential for harm to both myself and whoever else might be involved. And lastly Double/Doubles are bad for my waistline.
I am sure that I will continue to reflect upon, grow, and improve my mindset as time goes on. At this point it’s time to move on to more “Opti-Grabbing-It” comments and let this one go.