Got in a fight on the way home from work; too old for this; perhaps pepper spray?

[ECVMatt]

I was going to let this one die, but it seems to have struck a nerve so I will follow up after a bit of reflection, learning, and moving forward.

First of all I have the deepest respect for the professionals that do this everyday. As many of you have pointed out, this situation could have gone in many different directions. I was fortunate, but it still caused a flood of emotions, second guessing, and internalizing. I can’t imagine what it takes to do this on a daily basis.

In terms of the event itself, I am torn. I realize the value of staying in the vehicle, driving away, and reporting to police when safe. Hands down this is the best solution. However when I think about the other people in the parking lot, their faces, and what could have happened to them I am OK with my decision. Part of living in a society is working together to keep each other safe. Relying on the professionals is the best plan, but is not always an available plan. I saw older and vulnerable people being terrorized and trapped in a situation they could not escape. I made a decision, right or wrong to help, and I am prepared to deal with whatever outcomes may arise.

It also seems that the use of violence is somehow equated to being macho or making a display to impress others.I did not beat my chest, try to film the altercation or even exchange words with the other person. I tried to defuse the situation by the most efficient means at my disposal. When it was over I presented my ID to the authorities, answered their questions in a calm and respectful voice, and left when the interview was concluded. I did not stay around to high-five with other witnesses or get an Atta-boy. From my perspective, the level of violence used was in direct proportion to violence being displayed and no additional posturing or verbalizations were added to boost my ego.

Lastly I think my age has a lot to do with my emotions. As others have stated, if this incident happened in my twenties or thirties or maybe even my early 40’s I would have not given it a second thought. I would have gone home, told my friends, and we would have laughed about it over beers. Being in my 50’s, I guess I have more concern for my actions and their consequences. I think I am more apt to be embarrassed by my actions than I was as a younger man as my self-expectations for behavior are higher.

The lessons that I have learned are many. First and foremost is that I have become complacent in the neighborhood where I work. I need to remain vigilant and aware of my surroundings. Secondly, not only staying in the vehicle, but allowing for room to maneuver the vehicle is the best plan. If I need something on the way home, I will go to a safer location where things like this are less likely to happen. I have also begun to explore other available options for my safety and are both legal and have a smaller potential for harm to both myself and whoever else might be involved. And lastly Double/Doubles are bad for my waistline.

I am sure that I will continue to reflect upon, grow, and improve my mindset as time goes on. At this point it’s time to move on to more “Opti-Grabbing-It” comments and let this one go.

[RoyGBiv]

I am sure that I will continue to reflect upon, grow, and improve my mindset as time goes on. At this point it’s time to move on to more “Opti-Grabbing-It” comments and let this one go.

Thanks for sharing. It's always good to be reminded and reflect on these possibilities.

[Lost River]

Matt,


I would not sweat it. In fact you may have done a community service as Mr. Scrapper (who are usually tweaker/thieves) may think twice before he starts to act like a fool next time.

Somewhere in his little reptile brain this thought may occur "You are free to do what you want, but you are not free from the consequences of those actions".

Then he may recall that the last time he acted like a twit, someone pounded him into the asphalt.


CHEERS!

[camsdaddy]

https://www.amazon.com/Sabre-Pepper-.../dp/B00AEKFOVG

Way better than accidentally spraying yourself or your loved ones.

Well that takes all of the fun out of things. Thank you. I bought some of the inert cans a few years ago. Don’t think I used them and don’t remember where I put them

[RoyGBiv]

Well that takes all of the fun out of things. Thank you. I bought some of the inert cans a few years ago. Don’t think I used them and don’t remember where I put them

If I accidentally sprayed my son, he'd have a good story to tell. If I accidentally sprayed my daughter, same thing, but with more noise.

Either one... SWMBO would be extremely unhappy. Many days in the dog house.

[FNFAN]

If I accidentally sprayed my son, he'd have a good story to tell. If I accidentally sprayed my daughter, same thing, but with more noise.

That would be a much more funny story than the one where the 6 year old whips out a pocket pepper spray from Mom's purse and gives a little air-burst in the middle of Lamaze Class.

[Totem Polar]

In terms of the event itself, I am torn. I realize the value of staying in the vehicle, driving away, and reporting to police when safe. Hands down this is the best solution. However when I think about the other people in the parking lot, their faces, and what could have happened to them I am OK with my decision. Part of living in a society is working together to keep each other safe. Relying on the professionals is the best plan, but is not always an available plan. I saw older and vulnerable people being terrorized and trapped in a situation they could not escape. I made a decision, right or wrong to help, and I am prepared to deal with whatever outcomes may arise.

Yeah... at this point, since others have done the chastising, I just want to buy you that beer. If you ever get up to the inland NW, feel free to collect it.

[ECVMatt]

Yeah... at this point, since others have done the chastising, I just want to buy you that beer. If you ever get up to the inland NW, feel free to collect it.

I will take you up on that!

[Kirk]

I really appreciate you sharing your experience here, it gave me a lot to think about. I'm also really glad you are safe and made it out of a dangerous situation.

Quick question - where you armed? There are obviously other factors, but carrying AIWB is a main reason why I want to avoid going hands on whenever possible. Whenever I have rolled/trained with a blue gun, there is always an opportunity to end up fighting over your own gun. If anything, this thread has made me think about the need of pepper spray, especially in a vehicle.

[ECVMatt]

I really appreciate you sharing your experience here, it gave me a lot to think about. I'm also really glad you are safe and made it out of a dangerous situation.

Quick question - where you armed? There are obviously other factors, but carrying AIWB is a main reason why I want to avoid going hands on whenever possible. Whenever I have rolled/trained with a blue gun, there is always an opportunity to end up fighting over your own gun. If anything, this thread has made me think about the need of pepper spray, especially in a vehicle.

Absolutely no gun. I agree with you 100%.