Yep, and just for LL, the one liker of my clamp joke....joke's on you, I'll talk about 'em just because of your like.
I'll tell you up front that I use different types of clamps than some people, and I can't talk much about woodworking clamps, because I don't work with any wood except firewood.
First off, I don't use C clamps...you know, the kind where you crank and crank on the little threaded rod to agonizingly slowly move the clamp shut on something that's trying to get away or get out of square or do any of the other things that mean you need a clamp to stop it from doing something? C clamps are the worst, they laugh at your misfortunes and mock you while their threads seemingly get finer and finer the closer you get to actually getting them to close. Anyway, you can see that it's personal between me and C clamps.
The type of clamp I have the most of is F clamps, also called sliding beam clamps or bar clamps. On those, the lower jaw slides freely for coarse adjustment and then they have the threaded screw part to apply pressure. I have them from openings of maybe 3" to 14". Many of these are rated by lbs of pressure they can apply. Pretty light-duty ones are good for just over 1000 lbs, and my heavy Besseys are good for 8500 lbs. The ratings generally top out at around 5000 lbs clamping pressure for heavy-duty bar clamps. You have to be careful with the light-duty clamps because you can permanently deform them with just hand pressure by overtightening. The medium/regular duties at mid 2000's lbs of pressure can still be deformed if you work at it, and I've never met the man who can permanently deform a 5k let alone the 8500 lb ones.
I'm not good at linking to websites, but Bessey is the gold standard manufacturer of bar clamps. A Bessey medium-duty clamp will do what it says it will do. I also have some cheap Tractor Supply Chinese bar clamps (needed the 12" opening capacity on a weekend) and they hold up as long as I'm careful. They have the cheap non-replaceable ball-pivoting pad design that most woodworking and C clamps have. I have some Strong Hand medium-duties that have done fine, and I have some Radnors (Airgas house brand) that are also OK but you have to be more careful with them.
One difference among bar clamp manufacturers is retention of the sliding arm on the beam. Bessey just deforms the end of the beam with a big punch of some sort which keeps the sliding arm from ever coming off. It's simple and foolproof. As long as you don't need the arm to ever come off. If you do, a grinder will quickly solve the issue. Strong Hand's regular duty clamps have a springloaded pivoting catch at the end of the beam, and if you push in on it, the arm will slide off so that you can reverse it or whatever specialty stunt you're trying to pull. I think the most problematic design is Strong Hand's heavy duty and nearly all of Radnor's...they actually drill and tap the arm with a small allen-head screw, the head of which is the stop for the sliding arm. Problem is, they don't factory tighten or loctite the screw, and so most people promptly lose them, resulting in the arm falling off at the worst possible time, usually onto your foot or hand or ....
Metalworking clamps of any quality will have replaceable pads. Over time, your pads and the threaded spindles get dinged up / ruined, and it's nice to be able to replace them. Also you can add different attachments to the pads for different types of fixturing.
OK, so that's bar clamps. I have somewhere between 30 and 40 of them. I use a lot at a time when I'm building certain things.
The other kind of clamps I use a lot are called finger-grips in my industry, but generally known as locking C-clamps. I keep 10 on each truck. They're basically a vise-grip lower end with opposing "C" jaws which will let you reach over top of protrusions and clamp something beyond them. I buy the Irwin / Vise-Grip brand, which comes in various sizes and designs but I always buy the 11SP which has a Swivel Pad on the end of the jaws as opposed to the 11R which has a fixed / regular pad. The SP is a poor choice if you're beating clamped things with a hammer and have bad aim. But the SP is good for irregularly-shaped stuff. One thing I like about Irwin is that they'll send you free springs if you wear out / break / melt your existing spring in two. There's few things more annoying than Vise-Grips that don't spring open and shut like they're supposed to. Nobody wants to use 2 hands on a Vise-Grip.
I do also use those little squeeze-tighten plastic sliding bar clamps for things like holding arc curtains up, tarps up, etc....but I find them weak and useless for any sort of real work, not to mention that they melt when exposed to any amount of heat...not good in my occupation. They'd be among the most handy types of clamps for around the house or woodworking though, I'd imagine.
There, that's all I can think of about clamps on a Friday night.