In 1983 I gave my new Mother in law my Ruger Bearcat .. she loved it ... She passed 17 yrs ago .. the Bearcat went to her niece ... and she loves it also ...
Just sharing a memory
Most 36 cal round ball BP bullets are .350 unless you find an oddball mould.
I had a similar conversation with a lady from my old job. She was unhappy when she fired a full house 357 from her new snubby 66 and the front sight left a scar on her forehead! I had given her a bunch of 148WC loaded to modest velocity in 357 cases to practice with, but her boyfriend talked her into trying it out with the standard load. I don't know why he isn't the ex-boyfriend...
I bet she'll do fine for what she probably wants it for.
A lady friend of ours got an Airweight J frame and I took her shooting her first time with it. She is from a hunting family but not much shooting herself. She took to the light J frame .38 very well easily managing DA center hits at a good pace at 7 yards. She wasn't seeking mastery for "outlier" events but something for close range personal self defense and she got something she'd carry.
“Remember, being healthy is basically just dying as slowly as possible,” Ricky Gervais
As mentioned, grip size is a big part of the j-frame equation. I think those cushy Hogues are on Amazon for $12.
Also if she has not shot it at all maybe you have an opportunity to let her shoot something that is easy, like a 22 auto? Seems like it helps to set an achievement baseline, so if their performance degrades they know what they are actually capable of.
And maybe she got what we wouldn't recomend, but maybe made a move and made a decision. Maybe she didn't ask cause she didn't want the analysis paralysis.
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It’s been decades, and she’s fine. We have a good relationship. A few months ago, she talked to me about getting her first pocketknife. It’s not like we don’t talk about things.
I appreciate everyone’s comments. The whole thing was a surprise to me, because she’s never talked about owning a pistol before, though she has shot some of mine over the years.
She will be getting a care package.
Personally, I’m just wondering what my FIL thinks about it!
I am not surprised that a gun store happily sold her the most expensive J frame they had. The salesman probably figured she will never shoot it, or only shoot it a few rounds. If she doesn’t like her snub the gun shop will love to take it back in trade for something else. I would ask her to dry fire it a lot before hitting the range. It will strengthen her grip/ trigger finger and hopefully smooth out the action. Just try 148 wadcutters. Maybe a S&W 43c .22LR might be an option.
I noticed in your initial post that you said that she bought a lock box and a cable for her bed post. Clarifying here, does she intend this to be a house gun or a carry gun, or both?
If this is to be strictly a house gun, then you can (as you already know) provide an experience for her, demonstrating how much easier it is to shoot with a 4" K frame (as one example) loaded with .38s.
Don't say anything negative about her purchase. Simply let her experience shooting both, and let her reach her own conclusions, pros and cons.
She is obviously a smart person, and will quickly figure out what works best for her. You can simply lay out the options and be there to answer questions when asked, along with occasionally asking her a question (Socratic teaching) that she may not have considered since this is a new area of learning for her.
A 2.5-3" K frame might not be bad to have on hand as well if you have one, as well and different grips that can be swapped out.
Cheers!