A Pulsating Handful of Suck (or the Guns of the USS Failboat)

[Totem Polar]

We’re only 10 posts in, and already my buddies have noted the Lorcin .380 and AMT backup. My work here is done.

[Evil_Ed]

A 1968 T-Series BHP.

Firstly, the trigger was so thin that it was like pulling on a guitar string. Then, throw in triggerslap on it, and it was like someone smacking the pad of your finger with a guitar string whip. It would raise welts. But that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was the hammer. It literally ripped a chunk off the web of my hand after finishing a magazine. Admittedly I do have big hands and I get hammerbit a little bit even with a bobbed hammer on a BHP, but that rowel hammer was just brutal.

It was too bad, because it was a beautiful gun, and it was the one that convinced me that not all double stack 9mms were bricks with triggers on them...but that particular gun in that particular configuration was just not pleasant to do anything with, other than look at.

[45dotACP]

Rock Island Arms 1911.

I bought it thinking "I'll get this gun running and show all those plastic fantastic fanboys that you can buy a 1911 for the price of a Glock and it will still be better!"

It wasn't. It wasn't at all.

I'd been able to assemble/hand fit two 1911s from parts prior to that gun. But the things that were wrong with it were legion and short of a fairly extensive machine shop (which I don't have) they were not going to be fixed by yours truly.

I thought about sending it to the factory, but decided that for 450 bucks, it just wasn't worth my time.

Sent from my moto g(6) using Tapatalk

[lwt16]

Sterling .25 automatic........circa 1983.

My father decided to purchase something for home protection during the early 80s. My father was a CPA so naturally, turning loose of money was a real issue for him.....still is to this day. But I digress.......

I was 13 and completely JAZZED about the family finally getting a handgun of some type and I had several in mind as we drove to the mall (yes, there was a gunshop in the mall....Greenville, SC).....pretty close to the arcade and Orange Julius. I was sitting in the passenger seat wondering what we were going to end up with. Images of 1911s, Smith and Colt wheelguns, snubbies........because I was down with the gun mags at that time......flew through my mind and I was giddy with anticipation.

I remember the glass cases that contained a few wheelies and autos of all shapes and sizes. Dad looked at a .38 special snubbie....probably a Chief's special......blued with wood stocks......aimed it and handed it back to the shop keeper. I remember what he said next as clear as a bell:

"Ya got anything........cheaper?"

Now, to put things in perspective, he was doing well. Company car, we had a two story house, his job was basically wining/dining clients for the corporation he worked for. Expense account.....secretary........plus mom was a school teacher.

They had plenty of cash.

Shop keeper looked at me and shrugged because he could see the look of shame in my eyes as he reached down further and pulled out the cheapest thing he had......a Sterling .25 auto. He handed it to my father and my father looked down the gutter sights (gun had no sights) and then at the price tag.

"Yep, this is the one I want."

I think we had to wait 2 days to get it and when we did, he took me to an indoor shooting range across town. It was ran by cops......not sure why.....but we rented a lane and he hung up this huge man target, stuffed six .25 auto pills in the magazine, and went to town.

"BANG, jam......BANG jam......" rinse and repeat.

I was mortified. I hated that pistol.......absolutely hated it. He's spent tons of bucks at gunsmiths over the years fixing broken firing pins, magazines, etc. A few months ago, he brought it to me and it lives in my safe this very minute.

I hope all the guns next to it bully it and haze it when I'm not looking. I've got it between a Glock 41 and a 1911 just to intimidate it as much as possible.

I have little doubt my son will place it in my casket when I croak........as a last laugh.......because he knows I loathe it's very existence.

Regards.

[Guerrero]

...I had several in mind as we drove to the mall (yes, there was a gunshop in the mall....Greenville, SC).....pretty close to the arcade and Orange Julius.

That sounds like the Best. Mall. Evah! for a youngster.

[ranger]

I bought an EAA CZ75 Clone - disassembled and cleaned before range trip - no rifling in barrel - smooth bore. Sent it back.

[okie john]

Just goes to show you, the veneration of "pre-MIM" "pre-lock" Smiths is a lot of nostalgia. Sure, I've seen plenty of shitty Smith revolvers from the Lock-era, but I've also seen an almost equal number of shitty pre-lock guns. About the same time Colt and Harley Davidson made shit products (i.e., the mid-70s) Smith and Wesson did too.

It's funny how people forget the Bangor Punta years. I think most of the shitty ones eventually rotated back to S&W and got fixed but there were a LOT of dogs floating around out there for a while.


Okie John

[The-Gears]

AMT Hardballer.

That thing disliked functioning.

[Ingramite]

Another vote for the AMT Backup. More like "Bent over and Backed Up."

I had a .38spl derringer that ended up getting pitched down the sewer right after it fell out of my jacket pocket during a foot pursuit.
It shot out a plate glass window of a department store when it hit the sidewalk.
I don't even remember the brand.

There have been a handful of "functionally challenged" pistols over the years that I've tangled with but I knew the short comings going in.
Kimber Solo comes to mind.
Eventually I got it to be reliable with and only with 147gr. FMJ flatnose ammo.
I wasn't crazy enough about it to put up with the finicky diet so it ended up as trading fodder.

I've been accused and convicted of Aggravated Attempted Silk Purse Production on a couple of Ruger trigger jobs too.
Both of them ended up with the feel of East German Dump Trucks.
Proof positive that there truly is no clean end of the turd.

[Caballoflaco]

Kel Tec P11. Bought it as an NPE gun in 1998 or so. It took then-plentiful preban S&W mags, and was serviceable in most regards -- certainly a lot easier to shoot than the G27 (I had one for two months; around 2000 rounds it broke its RSA rendering the gun inop. I later learned that's a common failure, which got me over the 'Glocks are always reliable' phase).

Round 49, S&B 115 FMJ, broke the trigger bar. Sent it back to the factory, unboxed it at the range, round 48 (total 97) broke the trigger bar. Sent it back, sold it upon return.

I lived almost that exact same story around 2003 except when I got it back the first time I put two mags through it and then sold it before it gave me a reason to send it back to the factory again.