In keeping with the threads on best/worst/meh guns, let's hear about one of the most uncomfortable moments you've ever had.
For me, it was definitely Dave Grossman forcefully sucking his coffee through the coffee-cup lid while his hands and clothes were absolutely covered in those crazy ink markers he uses, talking about the need for a healthy sexual life, and this song from my childhood popped into my head.
"Are you ready? Okay. Let's roll."- Last words of Todd Beamer
What’s with the trend of detail analyzing the fail?
Really I don’t need detailed instructions of how and why you messed
Something up.
Lanny Basham - with winning in mind - he shot a 99% perfect rifle match. Some dipshit asked what happened on that one
“I don’t know. Wouldn’t you rather hear about the shots I made and how to do that?”
Paraphrased but the point it clear.
Failing quickly doesn’t burn up mental energy like obsessions over unchangeable pasts
on the other hand...
Last edited by blues; 05-15-2020 at 11:57 AM.
There's nothing civil about this war.
But even Lanny will tell stories to help someone else come to grips with their failures.Originally Posted by Duke
Repost from the Roll Call stories thread:
...
Acid made a brief come back at a local high school and we had a burst of 16-17 year olds doing really stupid shit while being high. A bunch of us were eating lunch when a call of a naked man running up "E street" came out. Nobody really wanted to go to a naked man running up E street, but several more calls came in so we figured it was legit and we'd better go. More calls came in and now he was running around in a subdivision full of curving roads. By the time we caught up with him, he'd kicked in a basement window (apparently people on acid hate glass) and had gotten into an open garage. The home owner was restoring a muscle car, something like a Nova or Chevelle but I don't recall exactly what it was. Just that it was a 2 door muscle car. Fluffy had gotten a big bottle of hand sanitizer and was squishing it all over himself while sitting in the muscle car. The homeowner heard the noise, see what's going on, alerts his son, and the two of them hold the doors closed trapping Fluffy in the car. The first officers get to the right house, get Fluffy out of the car, and handcuff him. He is completely naked. Not even socks or shoes. He's extremely fat, he's shit himself while running and has brown racing stripes on the backs of his legs, and has smears of blood over his lower body from where he's smeared blood from his cuts from kicking in the window.
Then I arrive. I see them walking naked fat bloody Fluffy out of the garage, and now wishing to subject the entire neighborhood to the mud flap ass I just saw, I went to the trunk and got an emergency blanket. I cut a hole in the middle so it was like a big yellow poncho. I walked up and realized there was blood on his crotch and he had beans...but no frank. The original officers also noted the lack of the expected genitals, blood, and one hesitantly asked, "Dude...did you cut your dick off?" Fluffy responded he had not, but he had an inverted penis. Basically he was so fat, the fat had moved out beyond the length of his member and he now had an inny and not an outie. I put the poncho on him and he looked like a big sad banana standing there. He then piped up, "I've got a little dick... Did I just make it awkward for everyone?" Yes. Yes you did. I realized that they had plenty of help on the scene to deal with Fluffy, I got back in my car and left.
Turns out he'd ditched his clothes in the bathroom of a Panda Express, and just started running...because acid.
Sorta around sometimes for some of your shitty mod needs.
Had a minor medical problem. Had to visit the urologist.
Urologist I was referred to works in a university hospital.
You know where this is going, don't you?
I'm in the treatment room waiting on the Doc and in walks an absolutely gorgeous 20-something med student doing her Urology rotation.
"Dear Playboy....... " (not!)
"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." - Thomas Jefferson, Virginia Constitution, Draft 1, 1776
I'll play...
We attended the wedding of one of my wife's coworkers. It was a small ceremony in a private club. We're sitting with about a dozen of my wife's co-workers. Just as the ceremony starts, a very attractive well dressed lady in her 50's takes the empty chair to my left. The minister officiating the ceremony looks to be just a little older than baseball. The ceremony concludes but the bride and groom remain with the minister and begin to sign papers. The folks around us start to grumble about the delay in getting to the food and booze spread. So I wise crack something to the effect of they're probably doing it now in case the minister doesn't make it.
At which point the lady to my left says "He's my husband, he's been ill."
Ever try to disappear under a folding chair? Took my a while to get the shoe polish off of my teeth.
Gun Related Awkward Moment:
We seized a large quantity of cocaine secreted within hollowed out books and were going to effect a controlled delivery with the original bad guy cooperating.
A couple of agents were in upstairs rooms, while I was in a small broom closet under the stairwell leading to the 2nd floor of the home.
I was armed with an 870, (and handgun), and would exit the closet when we were ready to make the arrest.
I hear bad guy #2 come into the home and converse with bad guy #1 in Spanish, which I was able to follow for the most part. Everything "seemed" ok.
Don't know if the guy just got hinky or bad guy #1 tipped him, but a few moments later I hear footsteps approaching my area, and a second or two later the guy swings open the door to the closet.
When he saw the shotgun pointed at him he didn't know whether to shit or go blind (thankfully). A lot could have gone wrong in that moment, and in retrospect I'd have set up my location somewhat differently, as I had no place to fall back to in a gunfight. But I was young and dumb and felt like the badge was an impenetrable barricade. Lesson learned.
There's nothing civil about this war.
Non Gun Related:
I may or may not admit to personal knowledge of these events...
There was a guy dating a gal while in college. Her dad was a blue collar sort who played at one time in the Dodger minor league system. He didn't care for the guy's long hair.
When the guy cut his long hair really short following graduation pix being taken, he became a big fan of said guy, to the point of liking to knock a few back with him when he came to their home to visit.
At a New Year's Eve party in the early to mid 1970's at the girlfriend's home, dad proceeded to get the boyfriend pretty loaded. (The boyfriend, who thought he could keep up with the old man, was clearly mistaken.)
Sometime during the wee hours of the morning, following having possibly unceremoniously unloaded some pierogies from dinner the night before, the boyfriend got in the shower adjoining the parents bedroom to clean off the prior night's detritus.
While in the shower, it is alleged that our hero slipped and fell on his ass in the tub...awakening the family and having the bathroom door opened unceremoniously by girlfriend's mother, sister and father while he was buck naked.
Allegedly, the father laughed his ass off and a merry time was had by all. It is said that the boyfriend is still embarrassed by the event some 45+ years later.
__________________
It is also alleged that this same ne'er-do-well was caught in flagrante delicto with a different young woman when her mother decided to fling open the daughter's bedroom door. It is reported that the gentleman in question asked the mother to leave so that he couldfinishget some clothes on.
(Interestingly enough, when the father had a "chat" with said offender, he was not in the least angry with him but had to speak to him or suffer the wrath of the mother for whom the young man was not of their "caste".)
Thankfully, the offending party never amounted to anything and was never heard from again. And that's all I have to say about that...
There's nothing civil about this war.
I'd just like to point out the word "awkward" in and of itself is... awkward.
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