Your Awkward Moments....

[Stephanie B]

When I lived in Missouri, a guy that I knew from college swung by to visit on his way south from Gawd, It's Freezing to Gawd, It's Humid. He had had something medical and had lost most of the fingers on one hand.

So, he arrived and I went out to help him bring in his bags. Of course, I said: "Hi, Al, can I give you a hand?" He just looked at me and said "sure". It wasn't until later that I realized what I'd said. I figured that he had to have known I wasn't being insulting.

But since he drank up all of my bourbon that night (about six shots' worth), he got even. On the other hand (there I go again), it was basically one shelf above Ten-High.

[willie]

By chance I encountered an old college friend in another city in another state after not having seen him in decades. Too have something to say, I asked whatever happened to that girl with the big tits he used to date. He replied that he married her.

[BobLoblaw]

When I lived in Missouri, a guy that I knew from college swung by to visit on his way south from Gawd, It's Freezing to Gawd, It's Humid. He had had something medical and had lost most of the fingers on one hand.

So, he arrived and I went out to help him bring in his bags. Of course, I said: "Hi, Al, can I give you a hand?" He just looked at me and said "sure". It wasn't until later that I realized what I'd said. I figured that he had to have known I wasn't being insulting.

But since he drank up all of my bourbon that night (about six shots' worth), he got even. On the other hand (there I go again), it was basically one shelf above Ten-High.

I had a similar occurrence in college with a new roommate with his volume maxed out playing xbox. After a few days, I'd had enough and I stormed in:
"Jesus Christ, turn that shit down! Are you deaf or something?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Oh, my bad."

Fortunately, it turns out he's also of the most inexcusably and miraculously stupid people I've ever met so my sympathy well dried up a few weeks later.

[Eric_L]

What’s with the trend of detail analyzing the fail?



Really I don’t need detailed instructions of how and why you messed
Something up.


Lanny Basham - with winning in mind - he shot a 99% perfect rifle match. Some dipshit asked what happened on that one

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t you rather hear about the shots I made and how to do that?”

Paraphrased but the point it clear.

Failing quickly doesn’t burn up mental energy like obsessions over unchangeable pasts

The more I read your writings, the more I wish I knew you. No sarcasm.

[Torsius]

Repost from the Roll Call stories thread:

...
I went to the trunk and got an emergency blanket. I cut a hole in the middle so it was like a big yellow poncho.

I guess not all policing is regional. How about when you have finally handcuffed the high female who was rampaging through the neighborhood and put her in the back of the car, and while you are getting witness statements, she strips down, defecates, uses the feces as a lubricant to aid in slipping her cuffs...

It wasn’t really awkward until she left a shit footprint on my sergeant’s chest.

[BehindBlueI's]

I guess not all policing is regional. How about when you have finally handcuffed the high female who was rampaging through the neighborhood and put her in the back of the car, and while you are getting witness statements, she strips down, defecates, uses the feces as a lubricant to aid in slipping her cuffs...

It wasn’t really awkward until she left a shit footprint on my sergeant’s chest.

Some stories are universal in LE. Only the names and a hand full of particulars change. Like a really fucked up "mad libs".

[wrmettler]

Two Recollections.

Giving a closing argument before a jury with my zipper down, and being told by the judge in open court after the jury left to deliberate and then reminded of the fact by several jurors after the case. Embarrassing.

Many years ago, practice Thursday morning at 1000 yard range at Ben Avery with my Palma rifle. I was shooting wide 8 left, wide 8 right, high 9, etc. Not doing well, and getting really upset with myself.
Looked up and there were about 4-5 old geezers (then not now) looking down at me. They were all dressed alike, white t-shirts, bib overalls, clodhoppers, and trucker hats. The leader of the posse looks down at me and says I have a crappy rifle, because it's shooting a big group. I say no it's me, because a good gunsmith built it and I'm shooting good ammo. Guy takes my rifle and ammo, and the group travels over to his shooting point whereupon he slings up, goes prone, and proceeds to shoot a group about 1MOA. At 1000 yds in a crosswind with a strange rifle. While still in prone, he looks up and says, "Yep, you are a crappy shot. This is a good rifle". They all got a good laugh. Totally embarrassing. The guy was Mid Tompkins, who was then a very big name in NRA long-range shooting. Even more embarrassing. At subsequent matches, I'd get reminded of my bad shooting rifle. So, it continued to be embarrassing.

[NEPAKevin]

Most of my awkward moments start with me leaning over to my wife to whisper "Is she pregnant or just..." and getting that you know your voice carries side eye.

[GearFondler]

Many years ago, practice Thursday morning at 1000 yard range at Ben Avery with my Palma rifle. I was shooting wide 8 left, wide 8 right, high 9, etc. Not doing well, and getting really upset with myself.
Looked up and there were about 4-5 old geezers (then not now) looking down at me. They were all dressed alike, white t-shirts, bib overalls, clodhoppers, and trucker hats. The leader of the posse looks down at me and says I have a crappy rifle, because it's shooting a big group. I say no it's me, because a good gunsmith built it and I'm shooting good ammo. Guy takes my rifle and ammo, and the group travels over to his shooting point whereupon he slings up, goes prone, and proceeds to shoot a group about 1MOA. At 1000 yds in a crosswind with a strange rifle. While still in prone, he looks up and says, "Yep, you are a crappy shot. This is a good rifle". They all got a good laugh. Totally embarrassing. The guy was Mid Tompkins, who was then a very big name in NRA long-range shooting. Even more embarrassing. At subsequent matches, I'd get reminded of my bad shooting rifle. So, it continued to be embarrassing.

Nope... That's just a great story. Embarrassing would have been you blaming the rifle and then being shown it was actually you to blame.

[Joe in PNG]

I spent a few nights in hospital after my ACL replacement during the mid 90's. The IV and constant supply of icewater meant I was pretty hydrated, so I had to pee a lot.
I was in the middle of doing so when my pastor & head deacon came by for a visit.

Playing an instrument provides a few awkward moments.

A few years back, I was playing bass at a satellite campus of my church. We practiced the set at 7am, then played the first service at 8. Just before the first song of the 9am service, the worship leader turned to me and asked what key my music was in. I told him G, and he said that it was supposed to be in A- then started up the intro.

A few years before that, also during a church service while during a prayer, me and a guitar player had a collision that knocked my bass out of tune. I had to unplug, go across the stage, grab the tuner, re-tune, and get back to my place- and missed the song all together. Monday I bought a pedal tuner.

Our band was asked to play a demo video for a friend of the worship pastor's. I was on percussion for that week's rotation, no worries. After practice, the bass player ask me to switch, as he wasn't too confident in his ability to play the songs. He pretty much always plays a 5 string, but I'm a 4 string guy who didn't have his trusty Steinberger with him at the moment. We begin recording, and the stupid A string on my friend's 5 kept popping out of the nut. Which meant I had to pop it back in while playing, and it was one of the worst for me. Seems my friend had just gotten his custom built bass that week, and the idiot who built it didn't cut the nut slot right...I should also mention that I'm the idiot who built it.