"... lacking scatological cohesion"
"... lacking scatological cohesion"
Once upon a time a co-worker came up to help me with the job I was doing/had started. I asked how he thought we should proceed from there. His response was, “hey buddy, don’t ask me. You’re fucking this horse, I’m just holding the tail.” I’ve used that ever since to let folks know I’m not taking over the lead role in their projects.
I feel more like I do now, than I did a while ago.
No sh!t Sherlock
I wouldn't have that up my arse if I had room for 14 box cars.
Going to hell in a handbasket
If you get there first, make a mark. If I get there first, I will rub it out.
Last edited by Backpacker; 02-08-2020 at 08:41 AM.
"He's got more baggage than the QE2."
"Kid can't out-think a chipping hammer." (Favorite of a senior chief I served with, but you'd really need to add three F-bombs to it to be authentic.)
"He's got as much of a chance as a one-armed man in an axe fight."
"He's as stubborn as a mule and nowhere near as smart."
If we have to march off into the next world, let us walk there on the bodies of our enemies.
In actual practice, I was frequently warned as a child: "You're going fishing, and you're going to catch it."
Almost as often: "Take it easy, greasy, you've got a long way to slide."
Bowlderized from a family expression: "It's raining cats and dogs and green eyed (African) babies."
"Dead as a doornail" was the usual in my culture, ... hammer or ... hatchet were literary.
Code Name: JET STREAM
You could hang him with a new rope, and he'd still bitch.
People are a plague upon society.
Like a cow looking at a new gate.
Taking a break from social media.
"The defecation hit the oscillation."
"As sharp as a sock full of soup."
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
"I feel like I have been shot at and missed and shit at and hit"
"It's like jumping into a dog pen wearing milkbone underwear"
"You have your head so far up his ass I can't tell where he ends and you begin"
"Is that ass or back fat"
And kind of a bad one....
"If she'd feed that thing once in a while it would quit trying to eat her britches"
(Sorry...)
Someone stupid:
Sharp as a sack of wet mice
Sharp as a bowling ball
A clown short of a circus
A french fry short of a happy meal
If brains were dynamite they couldn't blow their nose
If they had half a brain they'd be dangerous
Someone confused:
You look like a chicken watching a card trick
You look like a monkey doing a math problem
Heat related:
Hotter than a $2 pistol
Hotter than a $2 whore on nickel night
Hotter than a jalapeno in an ulcer
Not my problem:
I don't have a solution but I certainly admire the problem
I'm not roping this goat
Get your poop in a group
When I'm asked where someone is:
The circus called, they wanted their clown back
@cornstalker reminded me of this one about feeling bad:
I feel like I've been eaten by a wolf and crapped over a cliff
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits - Mark Twain
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy / Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
I've replaced that one with one I stole from a buddy who's a retired narcotics cop. "...since Jesus walked a beat in the hay district"Originally Posted by JAD
"Tighter than Dick's hat band."
"The game's not worth the candle." I actually stopped an Academy class with this one. I forget the topic under discussion, but the phrase means "even if I win it's not worth the investment it would take to do so" and I used it as such. The instructor asked me to explain the phrase and where it came from. As I understand it, it originated in late night low stakes gambling in mining camps. It was used derisively to indicate the candle burning so the game could be played was of more value then the pot being played for, hence "the game isn't worth the candle."
"Useless as a whistle on a plow/tits on a bore."
"Like shit through a goose." (speedily)
"Shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds."
Sorta around sometimes for some of your shitty mod needs.
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