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Thread: Favorite Colloquialisms

  1. #11
    Gucci gear, Walmart skill Darth_Uno's Avatar
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    “He’s nuttier than a squirrel turd” - an eccentric person, who may or may not also be legitimately crazy.

    “Toad strangler” - a heavy downpour. Also, “raining like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock”.

    “Runs like it’s got a warrant” - an older vehicle or machine that’s still (mostly) functional, at least until you’ve paid me for it

    “Butter my ass and call me a biscuit” - used to acknowledge an unexpected turn of events. Can be good or bad.

  2. #12
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    "Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the directions written on the heel"
    "Couldn't find his/her own ass with both hands and a map"
    "Twelve inches shy of a footlong"
    "Should have been swallowed"
    "Couldn't fight his/her way out of a wet paper bag"
    "Confused as a toddler in a titty bar"
    "Fuck factory" - elevated level of "Shit show" to describe an organization or event.
    "10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag"
    "Sewage fishing"/"Fishing in shit" - someone wasting effort to achieve highly unrealistic/impossible results at great risk/detriment to themselves of the mission.

  3. #13
    Gucci gear, Walmart skill Darth_Uno's Avatar
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    And how could I forget, “Someone took a dump in his gene pool.”

  4. #14
    Site Supporter Totem Polar's Avatar
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    I hate to disturb the guy while he’s busy, but I’m going to ping @Giving Back, because I know he’s dropped some gems just posting here about regular P-F thread shit over the years.
    ”But in the end all of these ideas just manufacture new criminals when the problem isn't a lack of criminals.” -JRB

  5. #15
    Site Supporter Maple Syrup Actual's Avatar
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    Oh - these aren't exactly colloquialisms, but they are local jargon which I grew up with and love: when I was little, people would describe anything that was big, or strong, or well-constructed, as "skookum". If you had skookum roof racks you could carry an aluminum boat. If you were tying the boat down, the knots had to be pretty skookum. I knew a guy was from my area once when I was applying for a job and he said "you could probably handle it, you look pretty skookum."

    Similarly we used the expression "the chuck" for any big water, and "the salt chuck" for the ocean, obviously. You'd come in and someone would say "you look sunburned" and you'd say "yeah, I was out on the salt chuck all day." That meant you weren't in a little bay, you were in the big water. If you were in a bay you'd probably call it just the chuck. To the same question you might say "yeah, I was hauling traps on the chuck all day."

    These two (Chinook or Chinook jargon, I'm not sure which) words come together in the place name Skookumchuck, which is not too far from where I live now, and the site of spectacular tidal flows.

  6. #16
    Four String Fumbler Joe in PNG's Avatar
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    I have described a few folks as having a "rectal cranial inversion".
    "You win 100% of the fights you avoid. If you're not there when it happens, you don't lose." - William Aprill
    "I've owned a guitar for 31 years and that sure hasn't made me a musician, let alone an expert. It's made me a guy who owns a guitar."- BBI

  7. #17
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    Easier than a fat girl in a tube top.

    pat

  8. #18
    Hokey / Ancient JAD's Avatar
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    Kansas City
    I knew loknload would bring it. I married an okie and she is a fountain of these.

    Poor as Job’s turkey.

    Knew him since Jesus was a corporal.

    That new dress washes like a glove.

    David Crosby said of Neil Young that he was “strange as snake suspenders.”

    Letterkenny exposed me to a new favorite: for dealing with a challenging problem, “how’re we gonna fuck this pig?”
    Ignore Alien Orders

  9. #19
    Smoke Bomb / Ninja Vanish Chance's Avatar
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    Nov 2011
    "Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest."
    "Sapiens dicit: 'Ignoscere divinum est, sed noli pretium plenum pro pizza sero allata solvere.'" - Michelangelo

  10. #20
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    TX
    I love these things, and there's plenty of good ones in Texas, but I can never seem to remember them.

    "Fucked up like a football bat"
    "As messed up as a soup sandwich"

    "Well bless your heart" is of course the polite Southern way of saying "go fuck yourself".

    Maybe not a colloquialism, but when 2 (male) co-workers are arguing I'll usually give them a "Girls girls, you're both pretty" which I stole from somewhere. Doesn't ever help but it gives me a chuckle [emoji16]



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