Favorite Colloquialisms

[Cory]

That dog will hunt. - A good idea.
Since Christ was a corporal. - A long time.
Wouldn't say shit if they had a mouthful. - Someone who acts like they're too good for everyone.
Screwed the pooch. - Messed it up.
Pissing in the potted palms. - Acting crude when you shouldn't.
More fucked than a football bat. - Something is inherently wrong.
Useless as a screen door on a submarine. - This doesn't help.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. - Someone earned their outcome.
Piss up a rope. - Go fuck yourself.
Pissing in the wind. - Futile attempt at something.
Don't know if they should shit or go blind. - Someone is confused.
Couldn't find their ass with both hands and a map if you pointed out their balls. - Someone is dumb.
Sweatin like ___ trying to read. - Someone is stressed. Fill in the blank with any coworker's name.


I'm sure I use more, and funnier. But that's all that comes to mind at the moment.

-Cory

[okie john]

“Like a hog looking at a wristwatch” for confusion
“Uglier than homemade soap”
“Blacker than 10 feet up a bull’s ass” for darkness
“Busier than a stump full of ants”
“He’d nitpick a blowjob”


Okie John

[BehindBlueI's]

“Uglier than homemade soap”

I've always heard that one as "homemade sin."

[cornstalker]

"He was alive when the Dead Sea was still just sick"

"I'd rather dig my eye out with a rusty spoon"

"I'd rather be strapped naked to an ant hill"

[Stephanie B]

Foghorn Leghorn had a lot of good sayings.

[awp_101]

Useless as portholes on a '54 Buick

They've got more (whatever) than Carter has pills

Cancel my subscription, I've had enough of your issues

[Caballoflaco]

Old man river- used to refer to folks of unusually advanced age of the appearance there of, especially if they’ll talk your ear off or give unwanted advice

[okie john]

I've always heard that one as "homemade sin."

She was from Kentucky.


Okie John

[BehindBlueI's]

She was from Kentucky.


Okie John

Well, I grew up at the KY border (some years on one side, some years on the other) and pretty much everyone in the two generations before me were born in KY or WV in either side of the family.

[Jhp147]

From the grandfather/grandmother file:
"Hold her Newt, she's a rair'in!'" (as in rearing up) was said as a remark to an adult dealing with a child crying or having a tantrum. Usually loudly with a smile and maybe in a way directed at the child to antagonize it, too. I guess it came from directing someone to calm a horse, he handled horses all his life off and on.
"Take off across the pea patch." Hurriedly leave where you are to get to somewhere else-as in if behind schedule or there was a real need to hurry. As in, "Yall better take off across the pea patch if you want to beat that snow."
"Not stop for wood, water, or coal." As in if you DO take off across the pea patch-not slow or stop for anything. Get somewhere without delay.
"Rougher than a stucco bathtub." Looking bad, or being violence prone. As in, physical appearance or feeling after bad illness or hangover OR describing the guy that you do NOT want to argue or fight with. For a woman, might be one with one prone to curse, fight, drink, or generally be "mean." ALSO see "Rougher than a cob."
"Blacker than old Coalie's goat." I don't know but he always said it about stuff that was VERY dark/black. No idea if "Coalie" is even spelled right, just know the guy must have had a very black goat.
"Whup you with a wet rope." A threat, serious or not, depending. Not real, he only used dry ropes, but wanted to get the point across.
"Three sheets in the wind." Pretty common one, usually referred to the house painter that drank Electric Shave because we were in a dry county.
,