@Joe in PNG’s quote describing a generally crazy person as “having more issues than National Geographic” - prompted me to think about some of my favorite colloquialisms and variations thereof.
“It was like watching a monkey trying to fuck a football.” - This one never fails to make my wife snort in laughter.
“They are a few neurons short of a full set.”
“I gotta race like a piss horse!” (One stolen from my dad)
“I don’t have a horse in this fight.” (Stops people cold)
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What are some of your favorites?