Unfortunately, I feel that the effectiveness of masks for preventing community spread was oversold. Much of the mask literature is based on studies in the clinical environment with near ideal compliance (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/32663246), studies with incomplete data (https://www.acpjournals.org/doi/10.7326/M20-6817), or studies based on mathematical models with questionable assumptions. Like you said, not all masks or brains under the mask are created equal, and my decision to wear a mask made from material that I obtained at Victoria’s Secret may not afford me the same protection as your N95.
My fear is that masks provide an excuse to engage in more risky physical distancing behaviors. Case in point - I split my time between MI and NC where the community perceptions of this pandemic are very different probably because the greater Detroit metroplex got hammered last Spring and NC never faced resource-limiting infection rates. In MI, the gyms are open but everyone keeps their masks on their entire face and go out of their way to maintain physical distancing as they go about their exercises. At the YMCA in Winston Salem 2 days ago, I watched as one guy spotted another doing bench presses and yelled encouragements - both with their masks under their chins.