40 is nothing, 50 SUCKS!Originally Posted by Darth_Uno
40 is nothing, 50 SUCKS!
In dealing with aches and pains and stuff not working the way it should - absolutely. In almost every other way, it is sorta cool.
Five and ten year numbers are “more reflective” because we effectively count time in 10, 100, and 1000 year chunks. As a result we tend to milestone half-decade and decade marks. The only reason years 16, 18, and 21 are important in our society is due to driving, voting, and drinking laws. Otherwise think about the other “important” years - 25 - birthdays, anniversaries. etc., 40 is “middle age”, 65 is “retirement” age, etc.
Getting to some things late in life, I guess. 2019 was the first year that I ever shot a competitive match outside of a club match. It was also the first year that I completely disassembled a S&W revolver.
If we have to march off into the next world, let us walk there on the bodies of our enemies.
I don't indulge in reflecting on my past. I believe that, unless one needs to make amends or repairs for the effects of one's actions and behaviors on other people, reflections are counterproductive. The past can't be changed. One can't go back and go to a different school or choose a different initial career or marry a different person the first time around (or not buy a Taurus).
That's different from learning lessons. One can learn that it's not smart to tell one's spouse that "no, it's your fat that makes you look fat" or that when one's boss asks "give me your honest opinion," he's not looking for "that's the stupidest idea you've ever come up with, Boss, and you've had some lulus" or that Serpas are really sucky or that there are really times when staying in port or on the ground would have been a good idea.
If we have to march off into the next world, let us walk there on the bodies of our enemies.
BWAHAHAAA! Oh, what you have to look forward to.....
If we have to march off into the next world, let us walk there on the bodies of our enemies.
I don't think it's a decade thing for me but I have had kind of a draining couple of years and it's definitely put me in a pensive frame of mind.
I mean I've had some really good things happen as well but it's just been a lot to manage and I felt just exhausted by the time this fall hit. I finished moving into my new place though and took most of November off. By that I mean I still worked full time but outside of my job I made a point of doing a lot of stuff like watching a whole hockey game, or reading a book, and not frantically trying to rebuild a deck before the rain hit or something. I just tried to spare myself a lot of frustrating or stressful experiences, and unwind my mind a little.
Interestingly after spending a month or so really trying to consciously relax, I found myself taking an interest in physical fitness again, which I just couldn't seem to push myself back to for the last couple of years, even though I knew it would have been helpful. I didn't have the mental energy to push myself to do more than I was doing and that was that.
But now I am back to lifting, and swimming at the local pool. I put a squat cage out in my garage and a few hundred pounds of plates and I'm getting back to somewhere near where I used to be, I guess. I'll probably take a year to get very much out of it but it's coming back.
One thing that's happened that I have really mixed feelings about is that I have cut way back on drinking. I know I'm supposed to think that's a good thing but I don't, really. I needed to shave my caloric and financial budgets down so that was a good choice but the less I drink, the more isolated and uncommunicative I tend to become. I just lose interest in pursuing social interaction and I'm much more hesitant to communicate with anyone at all. In fact this thread is a good example: half cut, I'd have already posted three times because fuck it, why not?
Instead I've typed out three posts over the last couple of days and deleted two and I'm posting this partly because I am trying to break that cycle of being sober, knowing there's no real point to saying anything, and consequently saying nothing.
In fact the version of myself I miss the most is the one where I'm pretty buzzed a lot of the time, playing in a rock band, not really giving a fuck how things turn out, and completely unaware of, or indifferent to, my finances or mortality. I think basically all of my regrets in life relate to not pushing that phase harder, for longer. Even though really I delayed responsibility for longer than practically anyone I know. Still, I would trade 90 years of actuarial approval for 50 years of Motorhead even though I'd only have ten more years to go right now. But I ended up taking on a bunch of responsibilities and now I have them and that's that. I still have a good life and all and objectively speaking I'm doing pretty well for myself but I have to say that I hate feeling normal and watching my ETFs increase in value is a very poor replacement for the exhilaration of a chaotic, uncontrolled life.
On the other hand I did just spend half a year living in a cabin on an island without electricity or running water just because I thought it would be fun so maybe I haven't drifted quite as far into regular living as I fear. Anyway, I better post this now before I just delete it all again.
Eh, 50 wasn't so bad from what I remember.
I can dig it.In dealing with aches and pains and stuff not working the way it should - absolutely. In almost every other way, it is sorta cool.
”But in the end all of these ideas just manufacture new criminals when the problem isn't a lack of criminals.” -JRB
A number of folks in the thread would be much better positioned to comment than I, but that sounds kind of like a midlife crisis.
This sounds like a very Canadian approach to a midlife crisis.
At any rate, I don't think your posts are for nothing. PF would be a different place without your particular blend of insight and articulation.
"Sapiens dicit: 'Ignoscere divinum est, sed noli pretium plenum pro pizza sero allata solvere.'" - Michelangelo
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