NJ Man Sought Sex With Cows, Punished Farmers Who Said No: Report

[Glenn E. Meyer]

A British officer, stationed in Afghanistan in the good old days for a long time, said:

1. For reproduction, a woman
2. For pleasure, a boy
3. For ecstasy - a goat

It was not clear if he was Conservative, Labor or Liberal.

In England, a man was having sex with a goat in his front yard. Unfortunately for him, a passenger train on a nearby track had to stop. Hundreds of people called the law on their phones. He was arrested and the goat was taken to psychological counseling to see if it was traumatized.

A guy was found to be screwing a deer carcass that he had shot. He was reported (BTW, I've read in some countries this was a typical practice back to bow and arrow times). The judge let him go as it was his property and not alive. It was no different that if he had bought a pot roast at the market and screwed that.

Kinsey found that about 15 to 20% of farm boys reported sex with critters. It was one of the things that made his report so scandalous in 40's. Were most farmers Republicans in those days?

[RevolverRob]

[Joe in PNG]

"Lieutenant, you're supposed to ride the camel to the brothel!"

[Baldanders]

I'm not a 100% on this, since where I grew up we didn't fuck goats...but I'm told:

The first rule of a goat fuck is - you don't talk about the goat fuck.

The second rule of a goat fuck is you have to invite an elected Democrat, an elected Republican, and a high ranking officer from each branch of the military to the goat fuck.

The third rule of a goat fuck is - you have to invite the CIA.

Only after all of those folks are involved can the goat fuck commence.

I'm told that seniority plays a role on who has to fuck the goat last. The CIA always goes first, and generally the mid-to-lowest ranking officers go last. This way when the media shows up to the goat fuck, only certain people get caught fucking the goat. The trouble is when a horny senator tries to get the goat to blow him and gets caught up in there. And since senators are greedy bastards, it's bound to happen.

____

Lots of detail from a guy who don't know nothin' about lovin' no goats.

[Totem Polar]

"But do they call me ‘Costas, the shipbuilder?’ Noooo...."

[Glenn E. Meyer]

Cows are friendly and lick each other (udder?).

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...orever/598417/

Indeed, it turns out that cows are especially interested in—and affectionate toward—particular other cows.

[JWinTN]

Back in my book editing days, I worked on a book on the history of Bristol, Tennessee, which was once known as "Hell on the Border." In one part of the book, the author had gone back to some old court records from the turn of the 20th century and included some of the more colorful cases in the book—sex on the street corner in full view, some girls enjoying the company of multiple men at once by the railroad tracks, etc.

This one is relevant to this thread:

That William Crockett, on the 19th day of August in the year of our Lord, 1887, did feloniously commit the detestable and abominable crime against nature by then and there, that is to stay in a stable of a barn belonging to Esther Looper, to wit on the day and year aforesaid, did feloniously have carnal intercourse with a beast, that is the milk cow belonging to the said Esther Cooper, she then being away attending church; and the crime is against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth of Virginia.

The kicker is that the three witnesses against him—his friends—were charged with lewdness, 'cause they held the cow!

[JRV]

Thus you and those like you are guests at the Thanksgiving table. You are not family. You did not bring the turkey. You did not bring the sweet potatoes. You did not bring the cranberries. You consume the harvest without having planted the crop. In exchange, courtesy would require you to keep your opinions to yourself, as they are offensive to the family.

Not entirely sure this is even remotely reflective of reality or necessarily fair to pro-gun Democrats like @jetfire.

Republicans have been happy enough in my lifetime to end the import of "assault weapons," lobby for gun control in their own states (ahem, Kasich), and ban popular firearm accessories by executive fiat.

In my parents' lifetime, they banned open carry in California because of the Black Panthers' protests.

Notwithstanding the fact that Republicans are, in my lifetime, (1) responsible for running up massive public debt on no-bid military contracts, (2) engineering the auto industry bailout from public funds, (3) pushing for and passing the PATRIOT Act, and (4) seemingly happy-go-lucky about government intrusion into private bedrooms.

If Thanksgiving Dinner attendance is premised on the preservation of individual freedoms and responsible governance, then none of us are invited so long as we take a "no true Scotsman" approach to our party affiliations.

Pro-gun Democrats can use their position within their party to tell their reps, senators, and other officials that they disagree with certain parts of their party platform. They do more to help the cause than the millions of Republicans that "support the Second Amendment but... no one needs to hunt with an AR-15."

Treating every Democrat as if they are responsible for the extreme viewpoints of their party's current crop of talking heads is like telling me that, as a Republican, I am responsible for every bad position adopted or statement made by Trump, like redefining "machine gun" arbitrarily, nominating gun-grabbers to executive administration positions, or taking an approach to military policy that fails to acknowledge the necessity of strategic allies.

[jtcarm]

you have to invite an elected Democrat, an elected Republican, and a high ranking officer from each branch of the military
you have to invite the CIA.


____

That bunch can only screw pooches.

[jtcarm]

I'm sure it's different regionally, but in Texas we always had to explain to Okies that "Moo" means "NO!".

Then I guess you know three biggest lies told by Texans:

“This truck is paid for.”
“I won this belt buckle”
“I’m just helping this sheep across the fence.”