I'd say those whiney brats come from a long line of the same. You've got a chance to fix it. MTFU and do it.
I'd say those whiney brats come from a long line of the same. You've got a chance to fix it. MTFU and do it.
One of my grandfathers was buddies with Alvin York from the war. He was deaf as a post from running a Lewis gun and a BAR and kind of checked out at 70 years of age but basically a cool guy.
My other grandparents were, umm, less cool. I want to be like my machine-gunner grandfather.
Okie John
“The reliability of the 30-06 on most of the world’s non-dangerous game is so well established as to be beyond intelligent dispute.” Finn Aagaard
"Don't fuck with it" seems to prevent the vast majority of reported issues." BehindBlueI's
Originally Posted by okie john
Any Alvin York stories?
Also, God bless him in eternity for his sacrifice.
Bad Grandparents? I though you meant ones like mine- who encouraged me to shoot gators and snakes at his house, and let me stay up until 4am on Saturday mornings drinking Cokes and watching old Godzilla & Chuck Norris movies he used to tape.
I seriously miss him, and sometimes dream he's still with us.
"You win 100% of the fights you avoid. If you're not there when it happens, you don't lose." - William Aprill
"I've owned a guitar for 31 years and that sure hasn't made me a musician, let alone an expert. It's made me a guy who owns a guitar."- BBI
I observed that some parents did not discipline their children because doing so was too much trouble. They did not wish to hear complaints and moaning and groaning, and eventually children's flak turned into outrageous disrespect and sometimes overt aggression. These parents became role models for pricks who then raised their kids in the same fashion. Whipping children is not the answer either. Once I had a Dalmatian dog which would not permit any person to spank a child in his presence. Neither will I.
I think about these sort of things when I visit the 'Raised by Narcissists' and 'Just NO MiL' subreddits, and occasionally the 'child-free' subreddit.
Just as I believe adult children have the right to set boundaries and do their own thing as new parents, I believe grandparents are under no obligation to be free childcare and enjoy their twilight years.
Something that needs to be addressed anyway, however, is that even if you get along great with your adult children and they're okay with you not wanting to see your grandchildren much, you need to think about setting up your affairs in the possibility that you'll require some sort of living assistance, along with the eventuality of requiring interment and dealing with your assets. Your children might not take care of you. You might not want them to. Perhaps the opposite is true, but everything is likely to have strings attached ore even used as weapons. Familial roles and obligations are no different.
I've never really had to deal with any of the problems that a lot of the subscribers in the above communities complain about. I've been lucky to have someone like my mother, who divulged to me without any resentment or regret, just honesty, that she would have been just fine being alone and not being a wife and mother. I don't feel a whole lot different than that, for myself. I've believed for some time now that if I am going to leave any sort of legacy or impact behind, it will not be in the form of raising children.
I am a father of 4 year olds not a grandparent. Toddlers and little kids are assholes, their brains are not developed and maybe their parents aren’t ideal or perfect or managing well. I am a highly developed, highly educated, highly trained, and motivated man and this shit is really fucking hard.
My point is to find a door, find a window to those little ones in your life. Drop all those bullshit notions of inconvenience and perceived hardship having those whining ones around - be happy you’re not in some book from the Jocko Podcast. Stop and find some way to connect and interact and learn from those little ones. My dudes drive me nuts but blow my mind and give me the greatest things I have ever experienced, small and lots of time can be missed so easily.
I’m just some broken man on the internet typing away so man I got no right to give you advise but you spend some time and you connect, a hug and a sentence from one of those brats will make the room really dusty and get something in your eye.
My kids unfortunately have poor luck when it comes to most of their grandparents, but I shouldn’t be shocked as my wife and I didn’t have the best parents or step parents growing up.
My three kids are all adults in their 20's. Grandchildren are not that far away and I cannot wait. My two oldest children have picked mates that fit into our lives well, but the third child keeps picking the wrong guys. I hold out hope for her.
All of my kids want to live close to us so that we can be around their children. I am glad for this. It just shows that I did a good job raising my kids and they still want to be around me and the missus.
I can't wait to show them all the cool stuff I got to show their parents.
My Grandfather on my Mom's side is a very impressive man. He was hard, strict, and absolutely terrifying when he needed to be. But that grit saw him through graduating Engineering school at 21, only to end up as a company XO on D-Day, surviving that and the post-war. He became a DA civilian after the war, and he met my Austrian Grandmother during the Berlin Airlift. He went on to be a very successful man in engineering and patent law and fathered four very different but very successful kids, including my Mom.
His harshness and this-is-reality attitude gave stark, priceless contrast to his moments of kindness. After I joined the Army, we started talking a lot more and he told me stories from Normandy that frankly I would not have believed coming from anyone else. He told me stories that he'd never told anyone else before, and during one of those stories was one of the very few times I'd ever seen him cry.
But those tears were so much more meaningful because I knew him to be so strong and so profoundly capable.
Now he's 97 years old and while he's physically healthy, his mind is not. He no longer recognizes any of his kids or grandkids. Now it's our turn to cry.
If I'd only known him to be a grumpy old asshole, his life never would have had brought so much value, lessons learned, inspiration, or anything else for me to miss.
When my parents were tired of my teenage shit, his kick in the ass was the only one I really listened to. Now that things are what they are, I only wish that I'd called him every week when he was still himself.
So add value to the lives of all those little assholes - They'll turn into decent human beings someday so long as you keep trying.
Otherwise your values die with you, and nobody will miss you.
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