First, weight doesn't determine expansion, design and velocity to fit inside a given design envelope do.
Second, while 9mm & .45ACP (et al) are just about the same in the quantitative elements we can objectively measure, there is nothing to say we have the entire picture at this point in time. Yes, crush cavity and penetration are the only things we can say are consistent from target to target and which can be counted upon incident after incident, but no one has, or probably ever will be able to, quantify the affect bullets have on the nervous system, blood pressure, psyche, and God only knows what else. Before someone cries fowl, remember that the effects on the CNS are one of the primary incapacitating elements of bladed weapons (citation: some Ayoob article from 10-15 years ago). Face it, knives and arrows don't follow our blunt wounding theories. And, for the first person who responds that "a coroner can't tell a difference" between service cartridges, I would posit that it's not the coroner who is being shot nor who we are worried about. How bullets affect and are perceived by living, breathing human beings is the issue at hand.
Man is not a game animal, but cross references aren't entirely moot, either. Hunters poke a lot of holes in a lot of meat every year, a whole lot more than lab rats and self-defense minded individuals do. Following our "all cartridges are the same" model, why not use .357mag on dangerous game instead of the heavy .44's and .45's? OK, it's been done, but what are the majority choices? The mid-bore is easier to pack, has less recoil, can chamber more rounds in a given envelope, all the same arguments apply, but I know if I were facing off with an upset boar or cornered cougar on a dark Texas night, I'd rather be packing a .44 magnum than any of my beloved .357 magnums. The big, heavier bullets just typically work better. Not always, but typically.
Now, don't get me wrong. I respect the 9mm. All of my current defensive needs are met by 9mm or .38spc because they are adequate. I don't mean that as a backhanded compliment. They work. They work, cost less to feed, are typically chambered in very reliable platforms with many different options to tailor them to just about anyone's particular needs, and carry more rounds even in a single stack. I keep cases of 9mm on hand. I like it so much that when it came time to get back into the 1911 world, I commissioned Nighthawk to build a pistol to my specifications - in 9mm. (For the record, they knocked it out of the ballpark.)
The move to 9mm makes sense and is well-reasoned. But, it's not, or shouldn't be, "because they all work the same."
Higher velocity mid-bores or wide and heavy large bores just do more work - in general, given. How else are we to look at it? Not every time, but often enough as to be noticed over decades of use by men harder than we, and even into the "modern design" era. There is no free lunch. Lower recoil comes with less damage. It just does. There's no reason to make excuses for choosing 9mm by running down the competition.
It's good we have people analyzing things scientifically, but science is not an end unto itself. It's meant to be an exploratory process with ever increasing boundaries. Just because we have things good now with defensive ammo choices in no way means we know all there is to know, and it doesn't mean we have to leave reason by the door as if it's a red headed step child.
Remember, history is not over. We don't know everything there is to know. Use some common sense. Bullets going into human flesh don't operate differently than bullets going into animal flesh (sigh, yes, in general). Be secure in your choice. If you have to make excuses, me thinks thou dost protest too much.