I'm very aware of all that (my wife is a supervisor with the state agency tasked with investigating elderly abuse) and I am very close to both my parents and know what to look for.
My Grandmother was extremely mentally sharp up until she passed away last year at 90 something, so we have that going for us genetically.
"For a moment he felt good about this. A moment or two later he felt bad about feeling good about it. Then he felt good about feeling bad about feeling good about it and, satisfied, drove on into the night."
-- Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy --
There's nothing civil about this war.