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Thread: Man heroically saves campers from marauding Sasquatch

  1. #1

    Man heroically saves campers from marauding Sasquatch

    Ungrateful couple calls the cops on him
    MAMMOTH CAVE, Ky. (WBKO)-- A weekend camping trip in Back Country at Mammoth Cave National Park quickly took a dramatic turn for one couple.

    They were woken up in the middle of the night to strange noises and were met with an individual saying that something had destroyed their campsite. Brad Ginn, one of the campers, said the individual also said "it was Bigfoot country which seemed a little weird that he would say that." The individual then informed them that he was searching for whatever had destroyed his campsite and warned them to be careful.

    Madelyn Durand, a camper, said "He said I hope you have weapons and then he flashed his gun at us and was like 'I have this so if anything happens to you then just yell and I'll come.'" The couple then decided to head back to their tent but moments later they heard gun shots. They dialed 9-1-1 and hiked 5 miles back to their car in the parking lot to meet up with the Park Rangers.

    Mammoth Cave's Public Information Officer Molly Schroer stated "Mammoth Cave National Park Law Enforcement Rangers responded to a reporting of an individual with a firearm in one of our back country camp sites in the early morning hours of Sunday, July 28. The rangers made contact with all the parties involved. It is an on going investigation at this time."

    Mammoth Cave would like the public to know there are not any ongoing threats to the park and it is safe to visit.
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  2. #2
    Meta-Hipster RevolverRob's Avatar
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    Kentucky is a beautiful state.

    But it’s not a state where you traipse around the back country unarmed.

    Raylen Givens can tell you that.
    "P-f: I lurked for wonderful combat pistolcraft advice, but I ponied up cash for my daily dose of Dada." - Baldanders

  3. #3
    Fornicates with shovels Hambo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coal Train View Post
    Ungrateful couple calls the cops on him


    Link

    Bigfoot...right. More like too much meth.
    If he hears his name, he will literally come over here and rip our faces off.

  4. #4

    Wink

    Would of been much cooler if the meth head was torn apart by something...

  5. #5
    Meta-Hipster RevolverRob's Avatar
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    You guys and your conspiracy theories.

    This was almost undoubtedly a ‘Squatch involved incident. It happened at night, and sasquatches are probably, maybe nocturnal, of course if they aren’t they are diurnal. “Something” tore through this couples camp, but did not disturb the couple. ‘Squatches do this regularly, often targeting camp coolers, looking for beef jerky and beer. Finally, the man who saved the couple was clearly shooting at something. Sasquatches are big and mean though and unless he was shooting a magnum revolver with a hard cast bullet, in a caliber beginning with .6 then he probably didn’t do anything to the ‘Squatch.

    Sasquatches are majestic and amazing creatures - and my real beef with this situation is - one needs a Sasquatch hunting permit to engage. I hope the Kentucky Cryptozoological Wildlife Service confirmed he had a valid permit.
    "P-f: I lurked for wonderful combat pistolcraft advice, but I ponied up cash for my daily dose of Dada." - Baldanders

  6. #6
    Stupid samsquantches I tell ya. Nothing surprises me around yonder in the woods anymore. I've had so many different crazy encounters with wildlife the last few years it's ridiculous. Now apparently this year is the year of dead bodies being found all over, like a dumping ground. What's up with that??? Not liking that one bit.

  7. #7
    Member
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    I used to work in a gun shop and we had a semi-regular tire kicker that "hunted Sasquatch". He was deaf, or nearly so, and if asked he would loudly tell you and the entire shop all about Sasquatch hunting. Here's some fun facts that I learned from him:

    - The females of the species are larger than the males.
    - "Most people don't know it, but Sasquatches are vegetarians." He baited them with, "those bags of oranges you buy from Mexicans on the side of the road".
    - They live in herds of hundreds, sometimes even thousands of Sasquatches.
    - He spooked a herd in a valley once. The Sasquatches are so strong that they punched their fists and kicked their feet into the solid granite cliff behind them to climb away and escape.
    - When asked if he had ever shot a Sasquatch: "Tried to. Twice. But the thing is, they're working with the extraterrestrials. So before my bullets got to 'em, they were transported from the first dimension... which is ours... to the third dimension... which is the extraterrestrial's dimension."

    Despite my best efforts, I could never talk the guy into purchasing a gun (or anything else). I was real curious about whether or not he could pass a background check.

  8. #8
    Inconsiderate Pendejo Greg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seven_Sicks_Two View Post
    I used to work in a gun shop and we had a semi-regular tire kicker that "hunted Sasquatch". He was deaf, or nearly so, and if asked he would loudly tell you and the entire shop all about Sasquatch hunting. Here's some fun facts that I learned from him:

    - The females of the species are larger than the males.
    - "Most people don't know it, but Sasquatches are vegetarians." He baited them with, "those bags of oranges you buy from Mexicans on the side of the road".
    - They live in herds of hundreds, sometimes even thousands of Sasquatches.
    - He spooked a herd in a valley once. The Sasquatches are so strong that they punched their fists and kicked their feet into the solid granite cliff behind them to climb away and escape.
    - When asked if he had ever shot a Sasquatch: "Tried to. Twice. But the thing is, they're working with the extraterrestrials. So before my bullets got to 'em, they were transported from the first dimension... which is ours... to the third dimension... which is the extraterrestrial's dimension."

    Despite my best efforts, I could never talk the guy into purchasing a gun (or anything else). I was real curious about whether or not he could pass a background check.
    I used to think every believer in Bigfoot was about that looney.
    Hey careful man, there's a beverage here!

  9. #9
    Site Supporter Drang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 10mmfanboy View Post
    Stupid samsquantches I tell ya. Nothing surprises me around yonder in the woods anymore. I've had so many different crazy encounters with wildlife the last few years it's ridiculous. Now apparently this year is the year of dead bodies being found all over, like a dumping ground.
    Lots of folks have dirt on Hilary these days.

    Quote Originally Posted by Seven_Sicks_Two View Post
    I used to work in a gun shop and we had a semi-regular tire kicker that "hunted Sasquatch". He was deaf, or nearly so, and if asked he would loudly tell you and the entire shop all about Sasquatch hunting. Here's some fun facts that I learned from him:

    - The females of the species are larger than the males.
    - "Most people don't know it, but Sasquatches are vegetarians." He baited them with, "those bags of oranges you buy from Mexicans on the side of the road".
    - They live in herds of hundreds, sometimes even thousands of Sasquatches.
    - He spooked a herd in a valley once. The Sasquatches are so strong that they punched their fists and kicked their feet into the solid granite cliff behind them to climb away and escape.
    - When asked if he had ever shot a Sasquatch: "Tried to. Twice. But the thing is, they're working with the extraterrestrials. So before my bullets got to 'em, they were transported from the first dimension... which is ours... to the third dimension... which is the extraterrestrial's dimension."

    Despite my best efforts, I could never talk the guy into purchasing a gun (or anything else). I was real curious about whether or not he could pass a background check.
    One of the local gun stores/ranges (which has since gone under) had a rifle in (IIRC) .470 Sasquatch. I forget what the base caliber/cartridge it was based on, but I remember that it was supposedly easy to blow it out. It came with 50 cases appropriately headstamped, in case you wanted to take it to one of the African nations that had rules about bringing in wildcat cartridges and/or reloaded ammo.
    (I know nothing about the later, I'm just reporting what they told me.)
    Recovering Gun Store Commando. My Blog: The Clue Meter
    “It doesn’t matter what the problem is, the solution is always for us to give the government more money and power, while we eat less meat.”
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  10. #10
    Member KellyinAvon's Avatar
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    Indiana
    It might've been Randy Quaid.

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