Thanks for the suggestions of the SAKs.
I just received my new Swiss Army 1. It is great so far; seems to satisfy all my objectives in this search. At first, I was annoyed that the blade didn't center up, but then I realized that's on purpose, because there's usually something else slotted in beside it. I wish there was a version of it corresponding to the 84mm Bantam, where the other end of the single slot was populated with the screwdriver/can opener. With my big hands, I prefer the larger 93mm size of the Swiss Army 1, but realize that it would add nearly zero weight, etc. if the additional tool was included, and the parts other than the spring are all made to accommodate it. So it seems there's a hole in the lineup that could be filled just by putting together a new bill of materials. A 93mm version of the Bantam might just be the perfect EDC SAK. As is so often the case, they don’t seem to make that, whether in Alox or red plastic.
The fracture surface on the edges of the scales isn't cleaned up much, and there is the slightest hint of a burr on the inside edge, so fit and finish could be a little improved, but what do you want for $21? The hand polishing that makes the Buck and Case knives "perfectly" smooth here is also the source of their random variation and quality problems. The Victorinox process isn't as pretty, but it's a tooled, controlled process that will give the exact same result... Every. Single. Time. That's what quality means to me, with a little bit of experience managing manufacturing.
Getting it directly from the source was by far the best deal I could find online. https://www.swissarmy.com/us/en/Prod...-1/p/0.8000.26 The site kept badgering me to increase my order to $30 to get free shipping, but when I went to check out to see what the shipping would be, it was free anyway.
So for now, mission accomplished. And thanks to y'all.
Also, it will look good in a pocket dump with a 3953...