Step-son is considering joining the military

[KeeFus]

Little backstory...I was a US Army MP and my wife was a Marine MP...both enlisted. You can envision the infighting between the two branches.

My stepson is highly intelligent but high school bored him to tears. His mom wanted him to go to college and do ROTC and become an officer. When I heard those conversations I could see in body language he was only participating because he felt like he was letting his mom down. I had a talk with him and told him to do what he wanted...but he wasn’t going to sit his ass at the house while he made up his mind. Job, college, or military...his decision.

He started going to the recruiter and looked at various MOS’s. We talked about MP, K9 handler, grunt stuff, etc. His ASVAB was high so the recruiter threw 25 Sierra at him complete with a $25,000.00 bonus. Being a product of the late 80’s I called BS and went with him to the recruiter to settle this bonus thing. Sure enough, the Army was shelling out big money for that MOS. (Where the hell was that money in 1989?!)

He’s a gamer and is all into computers. It was a fit. The school itself, including BCT, was almost a year long. He was top in his class and was offered the 1Chuck school. He initially wanted it but they were going to sideline him for another 3 months before that school started. He decided against it and is now assigned to an infantry division. He loves it, he’s involved with it, and we see a difference in him. He’s happy.

As for me, I should have gone Infantry, Cav Scout, or something else very similar in combat arms. My time as an MP was uneventful. Guarding nukes is like watching paint dry...then flake off. I learned to play spades though, so I have that. My only experience with law enforcement duties was my last nine months in at White Sands, NM...which is what I thought I would be doing when I enlisted. Lesson learned.

[Nephrology]

We had the same concern but he is happy and hangs out with his friends and goes to work and is very social there and at school. He just isn't self motivated and doesn't do well in the classes that require self motivation.

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Glad you at least considered it - it often isn't even a 2nd thought.

[revchuck38]

My son was nowhere near ready for college when he graduated high school - shoot, he barely graduated high school. I'm an Army vet with 12 years active duty, then another 24 in the RC including being back on active duty from 2003-2008, retired at age 60. I made clear to him that he was going into the military after high school, and didn't care if it was a two-year enlistment in the USAF as a cook, as long as he went in. It wasn't a hard sell TBH. He enlisted in the Army as a Cav Scout and started OSUT in August 2001. Talk about timing...

He ETS'd in 2005 and started college soon after. He couldn't stand the kids in class right out of high school - they spent most of their time in class on FB or gaming. His fellow vets pretty much had the same opinion. His profs liked vets because they knew how to work and be on time and generally take their studies seriously.

If your son goes in with his head on straight he can get a lot out of military service. If he gets out after one enlistment, he'll have the GI Bill for college. If he wants to stay in the Reserve Component, he can often get his tuition paid that way and still get his full GI Bill.

I strongly recommend that he do it.

[FNFAN]

Son says they're down approx. 280 Apache pilots and more for each of the other airframes. He started in 120mm mortars and went through the Warrant Officer Aviator program. Has been a great career for him. Lotsa motivation needed to get through flight school though!

[ranger]

Son says they're down approx. 280 Apache pilots and more for each of the other airframes. He started in 120mm mortars and went through the Warrant Officer Aviator program. Has been a great career for him. Lotsa motivation needed to get through flight school though!

My Army Aviator friend is saying same thing about shortage of pilots.

[FNFAN]

My Army Aviator friend is saying same thing about shortage of pilots.

Yes, they've made some rather odd decisions on retention pay offers the last few years -between that and the lack of replacement equipment and parts, a lot of the guys in the W2 & W3 stream seem to be getting lured away by the airlines. I was surprised that they'd court rotor pilots but they are. Son will be going for a nurse-anesthesiology (sp) job post Army.

[Alembic]

" He is very intelligent and his Freshmen thru Juniour year performed well in school for the most part. He had a 3.9 GPA. His senior year his grade plummeted.. He now routinely gets D's, he is always late, he has no interest in driving, he lacks motivation, addicted to video games, etc in general he has seemed to have reverted to a 13 year old"

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He's not depressed, he's smoking weed. Lazy man's drug.

[jamautry]

Thanks everyone

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[Yung]

I didn't enlist until I was 22. I had some college credit, decided on one MOS I wanted with four alternates, bought and read my relevant branch's guide to boot camp by Michael Volkin, and fulfilled the requirements to start off as an E-3. There isn't much I would have done differently other than getting into enough shape to at least pass, if not max out, a PT test before depping in.

Frankly, in many ways I look at military enlistment the same way as college, but one way is that it probably isn't the best thing to do right out of high school, especially if his grades and motivation are reflecting that he's not really wanting or deserving either one as he is right now. I think most 18-year-olds should probably just work a full-time job for a year or so, however menial, while either moving out with roommates or staying at home and chipping in however much you see fit for bills and other expenses. If they can't hold that down, it's probably not a good idea to enlisting and risk all the tangible and intangible consequences that come by not making it past initial entry training.

Basic and tech school are mostly mental rather than physical ordeals, and while the cadre of drill/technical sergeants/instructors will simultaneously break down and reinforce a recruit's ability to self-discipline, as well as put up with being verbally abused and subjected to collective punishment without the ability to respond, refuse, or retaliate, I think it is a common misconception to believe that they can impart these elements where they did not exist before.

I would suggest your stepson consider thinking about, and putting in writing, how he visualizes his future (career/education/physical and mental health/intimate relationships/family/use of substances/etc): both his ideal outcome if he does everything right and the worst-case scenario if he continues doing things wrong. It is very difficult, even when done poorly, but it may make a world of difference that unspoken or even spoken thoughts don't seem to achieve.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoGdMpdZXzs

[willie]

I am a retired teacher and have worked with many kids with this boy's profile. I think that he is deflecting attention away from himself in the present by discussing what he might do in the future. If he is comfortable with his behavior, then he is unlikely to change. The video games and his bed have become his refuge.