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Thread: A Generation of Pussies

  1. #21
    Birthday presents is a formalized way to practice the good social etiquette we're supposed to be learning. Yes, it can be painful to be grateful receiving but it teaches us grace. It also teaches us to be more mindful when we ourselves give a gift. It can be painful when we give someone something they have no clue what to do with or feel inadequate giving something that's "all we can afford". But not doing so robs us of the opportunity to get it right. Sometimes a thoughtful cheap gift, or a gift handmade made with more friendship than skill is received better than an expensive well crafted gift. Not giving gifts or opening them at the party may save a child from disappointment, but it also robs people of the opportunity for joy.

    Everyone should make their own traditions for gift giving, parties and celebrations, but the article wasn't about that. It was about making birthday parties dull and joyless because the author is feeling sorry for their self.
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  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by MistWolf View Post
    the opportunity for joy...Everyone should make their own traditions for gift giving, parties and celebrations
    Since "shoulds" are in play for "everyone", then I would suggest that "joy" is the responsibility of the person (desiring to indulge in that and any other emotion) and does not source itself upon the response of others.

    The premise of a gift is quite subjective; is the desire to please oneself, or the receiver of the gift? If the latter, why then should the givers enjoyment be an element of the gift?

    The "should" of "Everyone should make their own traditions" could include traditions of less or none, both in receiving or giving, simply because of no desire to do so.

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Gray01 View Post
    Since "shoulds" are in play for "everyone", then I would suggest that "joy" is the responsibility of the person (desiring to indulge in that and any other emotion) and does not source itself upon the response of others.
    "Everyone should" means "It's your choice". You don't have to give or receive gifts because MistWolf says you do or don't. It's your life, make it up as you go along.

    The premise of a gift is quite subjective; is the desire to please oneself, or the receiver of the gift? If the latter, why then should the givers enjoyment be an element of the gift?
    Gift giving is about both. I'm happy when I can give someone a gift they can enjoy. I'm happy when the gift I get makes the giver feel good. I'm even happier when the gift I get makes me feel good. It's part of being human. If the gift giving doesn't work out as hoped, such is life. But it's better than never giving a gift because people might be disappointed.

    The "should" of "Everyone should make their own traditions" could include traditions of less or none, both in receiving or giving, simply because of no desire to do so.
    Exactly. If not giving or receiving gifts brings you and yours joy, go for it. That in itself is a gift.

    But not giving or receiving gifts just to avoid disappointment is a cheerless way to live.
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  4. #24
    Site Supporter OlongJohnson's Avatar
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    I got a dirt bike for my birthday when I turned 35. My mom couldn't say no anymore, and my best friend had told me a few weeks earlier that I'd have fun if I did. He was right. It wasn't literally on my birthday, but close enough.
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  5. #25
    While that article was obviously written by and for terrible people, I think opening presents “ceremonially” at a kid’s birthday party is pretty gauche. I feel it’s classiest to graciously accept the (wrapped) gift and then follow-up with a personalized hand-written note.

    There are a lot of other things much more disturbing that parents today do, such as outsourcing the raising in their kids to video games and Apple product.

  6. #26
    Site Supporter rob_s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jc000 View Post
    While that article was obviously written by and for terrible people, I think opening presents “ceremonially” at a kid’s birthday party is pretty gauche. I feel it’s classiest to graciously accept the (wrapped) gift and then follow-up with a personalized hand-written note.

    There are a lot of other things much more disturbing that parents today do, such as outsourcing the raising in their kids to video games and Apple product.
    Totally agree.

    People are all wrapped up in the “why” of what the article is stating, but we don’t open gifts at a kids party either, and I can’t remember the last time we attended one where everyone was made to sit around and watch some twerp open up their new Brats doll.

    Kids parties for us are generally a pretty big deal, with multi generations, bounce house, snow cones, swimming in the pool, etc. it is way more fun for everyone involved and we’ve had 50 people at our house for a kid’s birthday party. I’m not going to put the brakes on all that and make everyone watch her open a bunch of gifts. That’s why people, grownups included (especially?), actually look forward to coming to our kids birthday parties and don’t dread them like they (and we) do everyone else’s. Oh, yay, come sit at the bowling alley and try to holler over the music while talking about the latest banal shit from the school... no.

    And I frankly don’t care if you arrive with a gift or not.

  7. #27
    Site Supporter hufnagel's Avatar
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    we don't have the kid open presents during his party, mostly because he's too busy running around shooting cardboard creepers with the dozen or so nerf guns we brought out, or they're smashing the pinata, or they're chasing each other, or they're eating food/cake/ice cream, etc. he should be spending time with his friends/family.
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  8. #28
    Site Supporter jwperry's Avatar
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    My wife is the type who wants to have all the pictures when our kids open presents. She always invites all the elderly family members who seem to expect this type of event.

    I'm the one who always states "no gifts" to our friends. My kids get too much stuff from the family anyways and most of the gifts delivered never get opened; I'll wait until Toys-for-Tots at Christmas time and drop off all the gifts they never cared about/opened. I don't see a point in having people bring gifts so that I can store them until Christmas for re-distribution.

    I personally prefer my friends' parties who don't have the spectacle of opening gifts.

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