Do you have a bidet in your home?

[LittleLebowski]

When I saw an update to this thread, I assumed it was a post by RobS announcing he installed a bidet in his new Sprinter van.

This is just a shitposting thread now

#BidetMasterRace

[UNK]

Theres always an alternative I guess. The same people that were building houses, cutting trees and building roads before the Mexicans came along. I wasn't trying to make a debate about immigrants, just making a point that the Mexicans here like to shit in your bathtub before you move in.

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And there are the facts. These jobs were getting done before. But when you can hire a bunch of illegals for a lot less and get more bids all the other contractors will follow suit. And of course everybody wants the taj mahal on a mini house budget. So its a win win for the contractor until the illegals are established with kids and a house and all the other expenses associated with the American Dream. Then they start their own businesses with again illegal labor. Meanwhile the neighborhoods they swarmed into have seen house values plummet gangs prostitution drugs unsafe to be there. Ya illegals are a real win win.

[peterb]

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2...he-toilet-race

"...Japanese toilets are marvels of technological innovation. They have integrated bidets, which squirt water to clean your private parts. They have dryers and heated seats. They use water efficiently, clean themselves and deodorize the air, so bathrooms actually smell good. They have white noise machines, so you can fill your stall with the sound of rain for relaxation and privacy. Some even have built-in night lights and music players. It's all customizable and controlled by electronic buttons on a panel next to your seat...."

[Meezo]

Having never used one, doesn't it leave your ass all wet?

[LittleLebowski]

Having never used one, doesn't it leave your ass all wet?

Not really. It’s directed and you adjust the pressure. It only hits the area that needs to be washed and then you just pat dry. If you buy one, you’ll be happy.

[Wake27]

Some of the high end ones have an air drier built in. I got one for my wife when she was pregnant because I’d read that it was less likely to cause issues with healing.


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[RJ]

https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2...he-toilet-race

"...Japanese toilets are marvels of technological innovation. They have integrated bidets, which squirt water to clean your private parts. They have dryers and heated seats. They use water efficiently, clean themselves and deodorize the air, so bathrooms actually smell good. They have white noise machines, so you can fill your stall with the sound of rain for relaxation and privacy. Some even have built-in night lights and music players. It's all customizable and controlled by electronic buttons on a panel next to your seat...."

Spent two weeks at the tail end (get it? ) of last year at a fairly high-end hotel in Hachioji, outside of Tokyo, that featured an all singing, all dancing version of one of these. Heated seat. Heated and cooled water. Variable pressure. And several other controls that quite frankly I was too scared to mess with. If you press the wrong button, at the wrong time, the results could be a...how shall I put this...startling. I mean, the thing was plugged into an AC outlet (a clue: do not turn this off. It heats the seating surface.)

Pro tip: One of the best uses of Google Translator (the one where you hold up the camera to foreign language, and it translates the image in real time) is to figure out how these things work, by reading the Japanese Characters on the controls. I do not recall the exact words that came up, but they were on the order of:

- SO MUCH HOT!

- COLD WATER OF CIRCULAR INJECTION!

- ARCTIC BLAST OF AIR!

- DO NOT USE THIS CONTROL!

...and the like (kidding, but this was close. )

Now, as to it's efficacy...I would say it was very effective. One did have to assume a certain ah clenched-ness at first, but after you got used to it, it was not bad. Not bad at all. I am not sure I would install one in my home though.

[Earlymonk]

I just installed this and I think it’s more sanitary, cuts down on toilet paper use, and just better all around. Flame away, haters

I don't believe you got a bidet.

You just wanted to mess with everyone's Amazon suggestions. Give yourself a high 5.

Happy Zombie Bidet Resurrection Day, P-Fers!

I really do love this place...

[blues]

"I can never get enough toilet humor."

[Lex Luthier]

"I can never get enough toilet humor."

I look at that picture and I hear Danny DeVito.