Are we (as a culture) over-reliant on old age?

[RevolverRob]

First for clarity - I'm not suggesting that with age doesn't come wisdom or that "old" people are some how not valuable. Quite the contrary -

As I've mentioned before, my father was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer in the middle of last year. He turned 73 last month and will be lucky to live to his 75th birthday. One of the realities of his cancer is that it is a genetic mutation. If I possess that mutation then I have a 2-in-3 chance of getting the same cancer and I have a 50-50 chance of having the mutation (it's a double recessive)*. I turned 32 a few months ago and I've begun to realize that at some point in the next 3-5 years, I could, very seriously, be middle aged. My father reached middle age before I was born (for those doing the math).

All of this has me considering the existentialism of life. And the nature of how we've structured our professional and personal lives. I'm 32-years old, I don't even have my (semi)permanent job yet in my life. I'm nearly two decades from my maximum earning potential and years away from financial and job security. I got a bit of a late start in life, not going to college until I was 20, but even still - what I've come to realize is - I walked into my potential career path and have structure my life over the past decade, under the presumption that I was going to live until I was 85-90 years old. That I wouldn't be middle aged for effectively another dozen years - when in reality, I might not live past 70.

And then I began to look at those around me, the number of people who have similar career/life structures and cycles. I'm all for waiting until you're a bit more mature to have a family/kids/etc, but are we, as a culture, becoming over-reliant on an increased life expectancy? How many of you have put off things or perhaps any other planned to do certain things when you're older, under the assumption that you'll be older? Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating a YOLO culture, but I'm beginning to question the legitimacy of planning certain things to occur after your say 50s. Given the degree of heart disease, obesity, and other deadly ailments, it seems like maybe we should bear this in mind.

Myself? I've begun to restructure certain plans and change certain priorities with this knowledge in mind.

*I have not yet been checked for the mutation and have chosen to remain ignorant until after I've completed my PhD dissertation. I don't really need a (good) excuse to quit, right now.

[ASH556]

First, my condolences on your Father's report from the doctors. I hope you are able to make the most of the time you have remaining with him.

I think Western (especially US) culture has made a habit, especially in the 2 most recent generations of delaying adulthood. I've dwelt more on the effects than the causality, but suffice to say I don't like it. I think by and large in tends to breed a cycle of laziness and dependence upon others and absolutely slaughters self-reliance. I'm not just talking about living in your parents' basement until you're 40, on their insurance, etc. Rather, the entire notion that we are dependent upon this false validation from others telling us we are capable of something; having never tried it ourselves. College and the entire educational/career system has become predicated upon: "Go to school, make good grades, advance to next level, repeat." And somehow, that's supposed to prepare a person for success. I've witnessed numerous cases (siblings-in-law as well as friends, extended family, etc) of kids who graduate college having made good grades and achieved "Magna Cum Whatever" status, only for them to utterly fail at finding a job, let alone other basic adult human tasks such as scheduling doctor appointments, buying a car, even renewing their drivers license or filing a change of address form with the Post Office. Not only are these people incapable of performing these basic life tasks (that do not require a college degree), but they tend to have toddler-esque psychological meltdowns while attempting to do so.

Society/Academia/Socialist Education System spun the tale and parents bought it hook, line, and sinker; conservative and liberal alike.

So what is the answer? Don't wait for someone to tell you you're qualified. Don't focus so much on earning meaningless pieces of paper. Figure out what you want to do with your life that will provide you with the financial means to survive and thrive at whatever level you want. Then, do that thing. How do you start? Start. Pick something, anything, and go get your hands dirty doing it for 6-12 months. At that time, determine if you like it enough to keep doing it. Wash, rinse, repeat. At the very worst, you've have gained a bunch of actual experience from which to base future opinions and/or help you earn position advancement.

Also, don't get caught up in stuff. You actually need very little to survive. Who says you have to live in XXXX house and drive XXXXX car.




Ok, that's enough of that rant. Truly, though, I'd MUCH rather see (and will advise) my children to become electricians, welders, carpenters, mechanics, etc than pay (or have them take on life-crippling student loans) to party for 4 years (or more) to get a piece of paper that tells them they mean something only to realize the "real world" DGAF about it. **Certain, very few, fields are exempted from this statement such as, Engineers, Medical Personnel, and others for whom higher level education actually teaches them things they'll need to do their job every day.

-signed, a 34 year old man, who first worked for pay at the age of 6 (cutting grass after my dad left the year before), earned his first W2 on a lumberyard at the age of 15, and who worked 40+ hours a week to earn next semester's tuition while attending the Georgia Institute of Technology. No I didn't graduate Magna Cum anything. Yes I failed a class and got a couple "D's" which earned me a semester of involuntary off-time (read: time to work 80 hrs/week and make more money so that when I was allowed to go back the following semester, I had the money for tuition).

Live life the fullest at every step of the way. Plan ahead, but don't bank on it either.

P.S. for me, faith is also a large element of the equation. Contrary to popular opinion, though, trusting God for help/guidance does not mean sitting back and waiting for Him to do it for you. Noah built the ark with his own two hands, Moses went before Pharaoh and spoke up repeatedly, and Jesus carried the very cross they crucified him on.

[JRB]

Very few people have any kind of 'plan' to die when they end up dying. They die in the middle of their plans, in one form or another.

Sometimes they die because of complications following heart surgery in their late 80's, like my grandmother.

Sometimes they die because an RPG hit their Humvee when they were 19.

Sometimes they die because an old woman in a Cadillac didn't see his bright red motorcycle when he was 21.


Have fun today. Have plans for tomorrow. Don't sacrifice one for the other.

[BehindBlueI's]

I understand society is more complicated now, and that some careers take more time to learn. The simpler the society, the younger people are "adults" because there just isn't as much to learn and you can start to make a living much earlier. We'd shit the bed about 13 year olds getting married and starting households now, the bar mitzvah and quinceañera are just parties and tradition, nobody in western society really believes they are adults. Able to sign contracts, own homes, enter the workforce, have their own kids, etc. So, I try not to be too judgey as the line moves further back and people are children longer. But it's not for me.

So, personally, no I couldn't wait to be an adult. I joined the Army the week after I graduated high school and never looked back. I tried to get a GED and a waiver so I wouldn't have to wait to finish high school. I worked construction under the table when I turned 15, bought my own car before I had a license, and was pretty independent from then on. At 32 I'd been married, divorced, and remarried. I had a son with my second (and current) wife, had traveled fairly extensively, owned two houses and one piece of undeveloped land, and was pretty firmly looking to set my finances for eventual retirement.

Now I'm looking to retire in 10-12 years and who knows exactly what I'll do...but I'll be doing something and traveling and experiencing. Maybe I'll finally get around to learning to weld and build my own off-roader.

[Trukinjp13]

I am 33. I got out of high school. Went to trade school. By 21 I had a job with retirement/insurance and had a life insurance policy. My father taught me the value of getting retirement squared away asap. It also helped working for my Uncle hanging drywall through High School. He had never setup a retirement and is still trying to hang board.

Most of my friends have no real set future. Some make twice as much money as I do but have nothing in a retirement plan. I also setup a annuity a few years ago. I really wish I had done it awhile ago.

I am just happy to be breathing. I should have died twice by the time I was 22. So while I have setup my future as good as I could. I really never planned to live to 80.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[PNWTO]

And then I began to look at those around me, the number of people who have similar career/life structures and cycles. I'm all for waiting until you're a bit more mature to have a family/kids/etc, but are we, as a culture, becoming over-reliant on an increased life expectancy? How many of you have put off things or perhaps any other planned to do certain things when you're older, under the assumption that you'll be older? Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating a YOLO culture, but I'm beginning to question the legitimacy of planning certain things to occur after your say 50s. Given the degree of heart disease, obesity, and other deadly ailments, it seems like maybe we should bear this in mind.

I am only a few calendar flips away from the Three Oh myself and find myself not necessarily planning on a longer life, but planning to resist the rush of it all. I went from working as a mid-level monkey chieftain in a farcical corporate hellhole and living in the 'burbs surrounded by nutty evangelical Stepford families to moving back to the vacant rural home where I was raised by my grandparents and am currently planning with my wife to grow, raise, or hunt as much of our food as possible while totally changing my professional path. She is a very successful lawyer and conceded she was indeed looking for the same deceleration. Obviously, we have put off starting a family for a year or two until things stabilize but our other actions I feel are in line with yours.


Our goals are to chase the experiences we want, now. Travel, camp, and adventure and not let other social expectations slow us down. She has a family history of Alzheimers and my family has me in full E&E for heart issues. It is simply not worth it to wait. Kudos to @JRB, I have lost a lot of Marine brothers and to wait would not be in their honor.


The wife still won't let me go back to a flip phone, sadly.

[blues]

Sometimes you live longer than you expected, in spite of yourself. It pays to find the balance of preparing for the future while enjoying today. It can be done...the more easily if you start sooner rather than later, a little at a time.

Nobody knows what the future holds. Do your best to own it.

[BehindBlueI's]

... to grow, raise, or hunt all of our food while totally changing my professional path.

Best of luck. Subsistence farming sucks ass.

[PNWTO]

Best of luck. Subsistence farming sucks ass.

Already feeling that. I should have said "as much of our food as possible" to lessen what probably read like douchey hyperbole.

[OlongJohnson]

My best friend became ill at age 30. Eight years later, I helped carry his casket.

In the words of Gene Simmons, every day that you're above ground, you win.

Tempus fugit.