So you're a police officer...how has it changed you?

[Unobtanium]

Lets see...

Love the job, dislike the majority of the people I work with, especially the cowardly paper-pusher types. The ones studying for their next promotional test rather than answering the radio or doing the job. The backstabbing and office-politics type of bullshit is something I did not know of before going into LE, and having a good bit of experience with it now, I generally dislike dealing with most LEOs outside the job, unless they are the type of people I know won't do that type of crap.

LE changes everyone, anyone who says it hasn't changed them is lying or ignorant to that fact. The first time some drunk or crazy guy tries to kill you, the first time you see a dead kid, the first fatal collision you handle, the first crazy robbery/shooting/homicide/etc scene you have, the first domestic where one of the parties can't talk because their mouth is broken and face is swollen and the other parties tells you "I ain't goin to jail!" Things like that will totally change someone, they should, its natural. I've seen coworkers drink their issues away into an early grave and have unhealthy psychological issues stemming from their on-duty trauma which isn't talked about in any way, and is not expected to be talked about in any tangible way.

The long hours suck, missing family stuff really sucks. Taking care of your family is #1 priority, that also means taking care of yourself in the process. Take that day off every two or three weeks to spend with the family and recharge. That beach trip your wife has been talking about in the summer will only happen if you make it happen, better have the good memories of good days rather than empty holes where memories should have been, you being on duty and your family being home without you. The money will be there, OT will be there, that investigation and those victims will all be there tomorrow. No reason to give up your family for that. Hell, nearly every single person I work with is on their second or third marriage, the job is poison to relationships with a non-service spouse, and if the normal stuff doesn't get you, then the fact women (and men, we don't judge) fawn over you like your penis is made out of solid gold, so that kills marriages. I've seen it all with my coworkers, for such an "ethical" field, there sure are some shitty moral standards for sex. Maybe it's the education? Who knows, I don't care either way, free will and all that jazz.

I knew people were messed up and evil, in general, before I got on the job. I wanted to see it for myself. I remember seeing news articles of crimes of random people committing crazy acts of evil, grown man kidnapping and forcing to have sex with minors, killing people in their sleep, etc etc. They were just words to me, I wanted to see it for myself if this type of stuff actually happened and how far down the human experience rabbit hole I could go. Well I am still going, and it's been a hell of journey. I never really trust the random person walking around, now a days I most definitely don't trust anyway I don't know before hand in some way, even then it's still an iffy situation. Then again I don't go out of my way to meet new people, I have people I know, family, friends who I train with or know will do what needs to be done with a call in the middle of the night. I remove people from my life the moment they don't conform to those standards, especially if there is some level of drama involved (I do not care for any drama, at all, in any capacity, unless a person is on mission all the time, I have no time for them) - this is all stuff I developed through my work experience. There are people at work I do not trust to drive their vehicle in a straight line but the government gives them a badge and a gun. I won't accept them as backup as much as I won't put myself on a case with them because if I am asked on the stand if I trust them the answer would be no. They know this as I have absolutely zero issue with letting people know these things - you have to trust the people you work with after all, and if you can't you need to make sure they know not to get involved in things. I generally find myself having less time for weak or cowardly people. (That's not only in a physical way, but emotional, mental, spiritual, etc)

I would most definitely recommend anyone to take on this job, but as long as they do it for the right reasons. If you want to be some paper-pushing bureaucrat and can't hack in the DA's office or public office, then LE is not for you, most definitely not street work. Yet we have those with aspirations of high office and power. Lots of boots come out of the academy all wide-eyed and wet behind the ears ready to pay homage to Judge Dredd and then they get stuck with an old salty fucker who hates the job, hates the supervisors, is running his time down and won't get involved in shit, "don't you dare touch that radio kid, we aren't going to that hot call, let the heroes do it." Complain to your sergeant? Ha! Good fucking luck, hope you boots are good because you'll be walking a beat in the middle of winter, because fuck you and fuck any other boot who wants to do the job. Finding good FTO's is 90% of the problem with boots, because most of the FTO's can't stand the job and just punch the clock, don't give a damn about what happens, have nothing invested in it other than their time. "Just making sure I get to my pension, this city is going to pay me for a long time!" Those are the same guys who die 6 months after retirement because they realize they nothing without the job.

I want the guys/gals who want to help people, the ones who hear that priority tone key up and drop that sandwich, flush that toilet, stow that cup of coffee and start driving lights sirens in an unknown direction because they know there is something going to be happening and they want to be first on scene. I learned about the concept of "dying well" not from Kyle Defoor, but from an old as fuck Marine infantry cop who had nearly 40 years on the job when I got on. He told me really early in my career that when that hot call comes out, when that officer needs assistance call comes out, when that call for a not breathing kid comes out, any other type of call which the general public needs help and you are the only person who can provide that help, "tag, you it, ya feel me? Cuz, if you ain't going, then who the fuck is? huh? Who? Not that cowardly fuck as your shift partner in that other car, he's too chickenshit to fail, and to witness some crazy shit. Fuck him, he shouldn't be on your radar anyways. You have to look yourself in the mirror and go to sleep at night, kiss yo kids and wife, ya know? Now how in da hell you gana do that knowing you was a coward and never made it to help someone cuz you was scared? That's some cowardly weak shit, quit now if that's the tip you on." He grew in some serious segregated areas, wasn't the most educated in terms of book smarts, but did his fair share of gun fighting and taught me more than a few solid lessons on the job. Rest his soul.

Knowing what I know now, I probably would have gotten my 4 year degree before getting on the job and then going state. It's a better job, more discipline, more expectations of a particular type of person is going to backing you up and recourse if they are a cowardly POS. I'd definitely do it again, I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything, good or bad.

If my kids would want to go into LE, I'd make sure they get a 4 year degree in a SMET (science, math, engineering, technology) and/or clinical field (medicine, psychology/etc) or JD, before I'd sign off on them applying. Once you are on the job, going back to school is extremely difficult, especially if you plan on having a family or if you already have a family. Having a solid degree in something serious you could quit today and get a job in tomorrow is worth its weight in gold as most departments will likely put you in a position to use that degree to their benefit (and yours) after your street time. Then I'd make sure once they get on they get a good FTO who will keep them in the "know" and treat them the way they should be treated - like a damn boot. They are trained up and competent with the things they need to be in order to survive at the end of the day, and I would make sure they take and get promoted on every single promotional test that comes by. Help them study, help them with the oral boards, etc. You can be the best street cop in the world, but you are still just the bottom rung, getting pissed on by anyone with a fake gold emblem. Changing the way things are done starts at the top, but through serious street experience. In a busy place that doesn't take long, I'd make sure they are thrown to the wolves, in the shittiest areas possible, why? Because I want the journey to the top to be difficult and mean something for them. I do not want to remove hardships from their path, I want to put hardships in their path and watch them succeed, or fail, then get back up and succeed. If I do my part they will do theirs, but that's more of the way I raise my kids and not the way police work is.

One thing I will say, after a career in police work, the world is an open book. Most PD's will give you a pension of some kind and some sort of medical - that's unheard of in many fields now, especially the private sector, and I'd say that the guys/gals who go on to their second careers in the criminal justice field or doing what they know best (like teaching young minds about reality) that is definitely a person who is worth their weight in whatever salary they request. A retired police officer's life experience can easily trump most others in terms of real world applicable understanding and knowledge. There are colleges who want these retirees to teach CJ, psychology, or ethics. Some of the best lawyers and judges are retired cops. Just have to plan for it, I hope all those who are soon retiring are considering doing something which puts their knowledge to good use. Hell, worst case scenario go back to school, get a masters and teach at the local school or academy. Your experience and input are priceless, don't let them go to waste.

My most interesting class in college was the one I didn't even need to take. CJ107. We had some flake of a teacher, and then she got replaced by a Shreveport PD officer who ran Queens area (Shreveport), night shift. White guy. He simply looked "switched on". 24 years in the dept. White. Queens. I had to ask "Dude, what did you do..." "I ran my mouth", was basically the answer. That guy had a ton of knowledge and experience to impart, and I feel like he was "wasted" on a CJ107 class, but I enjoyed that class immensely because of him!

Since I have been dealing with the public (my whole life, first in sales, now in medical), I have come to the same conclusions you have in many respects. Dealing direct with the public, on the worst days of their lives only, watching them watch their kids die when you can do nothing. Seeing babies drowned and unable to be resussitated, dealing with the violent criminal cuffed to your bed paralized from a GSW from the waist down still cursing and trying to fight with you while you start that PIV and get the suction and chest-tube setup ready and have the Ranger and all that shit...you gain perspectives that you simply cannot gain any other way, and skill-sets much the same, and quite frankly, it's made me very jaded and quite apathetic to the "I had a bad day at work, the copier jammed, and then they yelled at me..." types. Well did you watch a child die while their parents beat on their hands and chest screaming and wailing about "DON'T STOP!!!!! *INSERT NAME* WAKE UP, SON!!!!" Well then screw your boss and your copier, I'm going to bed.

Is my attitude correct? Is it positive? Well, I don't drink, I stay fit, I am on no anti-depressants nor do I feel "down" or have suicidal moments, nor do I try to harm people vindictively even when I have the chance (I am not the ER nurse who chooses a 14 gauge when an 18 will do). So maybe my attitude toward some things is pretty damn minor. I'll let my peers judge.


*Perspective of a 7 year critical care nurse, for comparison, and how I relate to the posts I am reading/a little about me.

What did healthcare teach me?

-People lie. A lot. All the time. It's what they do.
-People are extremely ignorant about even the most important things. Things that can and will kill them dead. Willfully ignorant. "How long have you taken these meds?" "5, 6 years." What meds are they, and the doses?" "Oh, my wife has all that, she here yet?"
-People will behave as badly as you let them. I'm not a huge guy, but at 190# and 12% and under 6', I am not totally small, either, and I have taken over for plenty of other nurses when violent patients (we can do nothing about that, just get hit, it's your job) typically will not mess with me. Maybe they sense that I'm "not the one".
-People are also wonderful. I have taken care of plenty of people who I wish I could have met on a good day, because even on the worst day of their lives, it almost makes you cry how gracefully they handle things. From the terminal cancer patient who you over-hear getting a phone-call and answering "Oh, not much, just up here at the hospital kicking the bucket." to the now widow of a 50+ year marriage who walks out of the room after spending only 2-3 minutes with her husband's body, and when you offer her the privacy to stay longer, she sweetly says "That's not my husband, that's just his body, and we had a wonderful life. I'm going home, thank-you so much for making him comfortable."

You see the best, you see the worst, and as another poster said...it's the greatest show on earth.

[nwhpfan]

I've been on for 20 years, almost half my life. I always wanted to be in LE, I always wanted to "help people." I spent 4 years in the Marines, got out, got a job in a small little "sleepy" town with a very happy name. Here's what I thought:

1: Most people liked the cops
2: I'd probably spend a lot of time doing stuff like getting fixing little kids bicycles and waving at people.
3: I had never heard of the term "crank" and never heard the term "tweaker."

Que the skidding sound now...

The town I went to work for turned out to be the "Meth Capital" of my state. My first shift I arrested some guy on a warrant who tried to swallow his "crank" so my FTO and I had "get it out." I had this tweaked out homeless pair get into a fight in the middle of the highway and while booking them in the girl dropped her pants and shit right on the floor. I remember driving down the road and seeing some kid pumping both arms with middle fingers yelling "Fuck You Pig" as I drove by. I learned there really wasn't a lot of people that wanted my help but catching bad guys was fun. I got in car chases, took guns off people, found big wads of meth arrested a couple different people for stabbing people (Attempted Murder), made some real good friends and had a whole lot of fun doing it.

So after a couple years I went to work for a much bigger agency in a community of a couple hundred thousand people and it was like bigger fish in a bigger pond. I did the same thing, same stuff except now I had more opportunities to find turds. And even better, unlike the first place, we had Detectives that took all that lame office works stuff, like child abuse cases, that got in the way of something exciting like finding a baggy of meth or getting somebody in a stolen car.

But after 8 years of working all night and going to court all day I decided I might want to get promoted and to do that (at that time) you had to have Detective experience. So I took the test and was fortunate enough a whole bunch of Detectives got promoted to Sgt. which made some vacancies for me. So I ended up working major crimes for a couple years. Rape, Murder, OIS. Worked 4/5/9 with every other Friday off. And for the first time I was actually helping people. I was getting cases and meeting people's family and friends. I was talking to them on a regular basis. I realized a lot of the things I did in the previous 10 years, except for all the DUII's really didn't matter. Property crimes like stolen vehicle and dope cases went "diversion" or "drug court" and/or probation and really didn't matter. In fact now in my state marijuana is legal and possession of cocaine, meth, heroin is a misdemeanor until a fairly significant amount. I really like this work, I was in my 30's and felt I was really making a difference for some really good people. I provided "justice." Women that were raped, a guy that got his eye gouged out, multiple women that were sexually abused. But something else was starting to happen...I was starting to see how messed up things were around me. I saw how this supervisor or that made poor decisions, or treated people poorly; citizens and/or other cops. I felt it was up to somebody like me to "get in there" and do my part to make the agency a better plce. So I put in and got promoted. I went went back to patrol, then back to detectives, then back to patrol.

Here's where I have changed.

I am much more a "of the community for the community" kind of person than ever before. This is "their" community, their neighborhood and I'm charged with keeping the peace, preventing crime, and holding offenders accountable. Ie, the person that actually stops the bad guys, or finds the ones that stole, assaulted, etc.

It is not who I am. It is what I do.

Courage and bravery are easy to come by, and that is good. Sadly, integrity is not.

Too many around me fail to recognize we police at the consent of the people.

But at the end of the day your first loyalty is to the people you serve, then to the profession, then the agency.

[rojocorsa]

What can I say? This is a timely thread for me... thank y'all for starting it and participating in it.

[andre3k]

I can't complain. This job has been pretty good to me despite all the bullshit it brings. I make more than most of my non- LE friends, I can take off 2+ months a year and have a decent pension, when I get burned out I can go to a new division and have an entirely different career path. My department paid for both of my degrees and I've been blessed to work enough good paying extra jobs to allow my wife to stay at home and not have us struggle.

I could bitch and complain about the fucked up things I've seen but I knew what I was getting into 6 months into this job. Nobody is forcing me to stay in this career and if my kids wanted to do it then there isn't much I would do to stop them other than to make sure they have a bachelors degree beforehand. I try to focus more on the positives to this job than the negatives.

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[Hideeho]

33 years, mostly NY. Some other places. Started in 78. Stopped in 12. A list of changes:

Don't watch cop shows or movies anymore. If Malloy and Reed showed me how F'd up I would feel working midnights I would never taken the job.

Don't eat out anymore. Been in too many restaurant kitchens.

Don't eat donuts. Been in too many donut shop kitchens.

Don't eat anything other than cereal after 9pm. Grease will kill you at 3am.

Learned to use White Castle as a laxative.

Don't ride in elevators. Been stuck in urine filled elevators waiting for FD to rescue me. Also took a 1 story drop. I stick to stairs.

Always back car into parking spaces. Old-time drinkers taught me that trick.

Expect an LE discount on any firearm I buy, otherwise won't buy. S&W taught me that in '78.

Learned not to burn the candle at both ends after working midnights. Ages you beyond years.

Learned not to drink after working midnights. I was 21, my first FTO asked me to breakfast after a midnight. Crawled home at 2 pm. Still lived at home. Mom questioned my career decision.

I look up often. Otherwise a garbage can or a brick might land on my head.

Learned you had to walk before you could run.

Pretty good at controling adrenaline.

I try control situations.

Learned command presence.

Became a listener and not a talker. I think about what people are saying. Not what I want to say next.

Became a big believer in "There But For the Grace of God Go I."

I don't take things personally. You can MF me and say anything mean to me. Your words mean nothing. The person speaking has to mean something to me before the words to have meaning.

There are no fair fights. There are no street rules.

Learned to believe nothing i heard and only half of what I saw.

[w provence]

33 years, mostly NY. Some other places. Started in 78. Stopped in 12. A list of changes:

Don't watch cop shows or movies anymore. If Malloy and Reed showed me how F'd up I would feel working midnights I would never taken the job.

Don't eat out anymore. Been in too many restaurant kitchens.

Don't eat donuts. Been in too many donut shop kitchens.

Don't eat anything other than cereal after 9pm. Grease will kill you at 3am.

Learned to use White Castle as a laxative.

Don't ride in elevators. Been stuck in urine filled elevators waiting for FD to rescue me. Also took a 1 story drop. I stick to stairs.

Always back car into parking spaces. Old-time drinkers taught me that trick.

Expect an LE discount on any firearm I buy, otherwise won't buy. S&W taught me that in '78.

Learned not to burn the candle at both ends after working midnights. Ages you beyond years.

Learned not to drink after working midnights. I was 21, my first FTO asked me to breakfast after a midnight. Crawled home at 2 pm. Still lived at home. Mom questioned my career decision.

I look up often. Otherwise a garbage can or a brick might land on my head.

Learned you had to walk before you could run.

Pretty good at controling adrenaline.

I try control situations.

Learned command presence.

Became a listener and not a talker. I think about what people are saying. Not what I want to say next.

Became a big believer in "There But For the Grace of God Go I."

I don't take things personally. You can MF me and say anything mean to me. Your words mean nothing. The person speaking has to mean something to me before the words to have meaning.

There are no fair fights. There are no street rules.

Learned to believe nothing i heard and only half of what I saw.

Amen


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[Magsz]

Ive been on since 4/20/2016 (Yep, that's actually my hire date) and the biggest thing that I've noticed is that I exercise super human levels of patience at work but the second I get off I'm short with people when it comes to having to deal with their bullshit. I have absolutely zero patience for deceit and the normal rigamarole of life. I guess one could say I come across as an asshole but I always try and soften the "blow" after the exchange is done. My latest car buying experience probably gave the salesman and manager PTSD.

One thing I learned almost immediately was to avoid the toxic old timers. I really don't care how much you think this job sucks, the industry sucks, how useless we are and how the department has fucked you over. Law enforcement has changed, EVERY industry changes for good and for bad but you either roll with it and adapt or you get the fuck out and stop whining.

[Jesting Devil]

Thank you all for what you do and sharing your insights.

[KevH]

I became a police cadet in high school, a non-sworn employee at eighteen to pay my way through college, and got hired on as a sworn peace officer at 21. I look back on it and am completely shocked just how young I was and the types of horrific things my younger self was exposed to.

I work in the San Francisco Bay Area in a fairly active area. I feel very fortunate I was able to work in this profession around the 9/11 timeframe before police were reviled. January 1, 2009 with the Grant/Mehserle incident everything changed and dawned a new era for police. I feel bad for the folks that didn't get to experience what it was like before that.

Has this job changed me? I know it has, but because I didn't have much of an adult life without it I don't think I feel/see the changes the way some folks do. I hate crowds and am very guarded. I generally don't feel very comfortable with non-LE folks, especially those without a similar level of experience to me. I've been fortunate to be a patrol officer, a K9 handler, a major crimes detective, and to work on a street team. I've seen the absolute worst that human beings can do to one another and have had more experience in my career than most.

What I can absolutely say is that I do not hate people and I continue to love my job. I love interacting with the public and being able to help people. As much as I complain about it sometimes, I also love the department and city that I work for which seems to be rare these days.

The way I can break down this career is that if you're psyche can handle it you tend to perform like this:

- <1 year: You're lost and trying to figure out what the hell is going on
- Year 1-4: You're learning the trade
- Year 5-9: You've figured it out and are the most productive you will likely be
- Year 10-15: You've experienced a lot and are now trying to figure out what you are going to do with the rest of your career and where your place is in the organization
- Year 16-20: You're either jaded and hate the place, you're trying to climb a ladder, or you're just happy to be where you're at and aren't gonna go out there and light the world on fire
- Year 21+: You're coasting to retirement and hopefully willing to pass on all that you've learned to others

Even with the current tone created by the media, I still love this job and can't see myself wanting to do anything else. It has come at a great cost to my personal life and sometimes my own mental health, but the fact of the matter is it is still the greatest show on earth. If I'm ever lucky enough to have kids would I want them to do it? Probably not, but if they wanted to and I thought they were wired the right way I would support them.

[Unobtanium]

Ive been on since 4/20/2016 (Yep, that's actually my hire date) and the biggest thing that I've noticed is that I exercise super human levels of patience at work but the second I get off I'm short with people when it comes to having to deal with their bullshit. I have absolutely zero patience for deceit and the normal rigamarole of life. I guess one could say I come across as an asshole but I always try and soften the "blow" after the exchange is done. My latest car buying experience probably gave the salesman and manager PTSD.

One thing I learned almost immediately was to avoid the toxic old timers. I really don't care how much you think this job sucks, the industry sucks, how useless we are and how the department has fucked you over. Law enforcement has changed, EVERY industry changes for good and for bad but you either roll with it and adapt or you get the fuck out and stop whining.

Yes. This is also me sometimes. I burn all of my patience and longsuffering at work. When I'm off, I hold people on their jobs to the same standards I perform at on mine. When or if they fail, I am not the person I should be sometimes.