This is a long one....

I was not sure what sub forum to put this under as it spans mindset, handling, competition but at the core it is just a general discussion on my observations and a success story of changing hearts and minds. Mods please move to where is appropriate.

I have found myself lucky enough to find a woman who will tolerate me. As with anything sometimes you don't get 100% of what you think you want. In this case when we met she was very afraid of guns, didn't understand guns, and believed outside of hunting they had very little value in society. In fact a few months in I thought she was out the door when she got a look into the safe and figured I was prepping for WW3. (really it is a conservative collection for any competitive shooter / hunter.)

As time passed and because she is awesome and knows that competitive shooting is one of my favorite pass time activities, and she is very supportive. So she wanted to come watch. Of course she enjoyed watching, the people, being outside etc. A few matches as an observer she asked me to take her out and show her how to use a gun because she has never shot one, and she figured if they were going to be in the house, she needed to at least make sure they were safe and handled correctly. (her words)

We went out and took a Beretta 92 Brigadier Tactical and a Les Baer Custom Cary in .45 ACP. (I wanted to bring a .22, but did not have time to go to the store for ammo.). We started with the 92 and as a full metal, relatively heavy gun in 9mm it was a good introduction. Same with the .45. She did great. Had good instincts and did not complain about recoil, noise or any of the other things new shooters typically do. This was three - four months ago.

Shortly after we attended a local 3 gun match, her as an observer. One of the other female shooters she recognized from her gym, and they became fast friends. In her case her husband was the observer and she was shooting. The woman was also very excited to have another similar aged, new female shooter to play with and she took her shooting later that week without me to show her what she knew. In this case Jamie had to borrow my G17 because it is the only gun I have a right handed holster for. Upon completion of that trip Jamie came to me and said she wanted to try shooting in a match, and she was going to take her CHL course with the girl she found at the range.

I was actually very surprised by this, but her reasoning was sound. She is a veterinarian and her hospital is not in the best part of town. She said as she gets more comfortable she would not mind having something with her because all the addicts in the area know that they keep controlled substances on site and sometimes she has to go after hours to check on overnight pups and such.

She did take her CHL and in New Mexico you need to qualify with the largest caliber you will every carry. Meaning if you qualify with a 9mm you can not carry a .45. So she used a 1911 to qualify and pass 100%. The range portion of the class was the third or fourth time she has ever live fired a pistol.

After the class she was ready to purchase her first pistol. I suggested that she should shoot at least one match first to get an idea of what it is like to not shoot on a square range. Again because I only have one right handed set up she was relegated to shoot limited minor with a G17 at her first USPSA match. She did really good from going to nothing and in three months and only 5 - 7 range visits shooting a match with great fundamentals.

https://www.facebook.com/jay.koller/...11601196519279

She got the bug and wanted to go buy a gun that day. I did give a little guidance and suggested that she try as many as she could and not confine herself to what I shoot, or what is available in my safe. She took her own initiative and went to a local shop that has rentals where you can pay one fee and shoot as many in the same caliber as you like as long as you pay for the ammo. She shot 10ish different guns. She did this by herself and had no influence from other shooters other then the LGS guys. My only direction was to be comfortable and not to look at the price, just by what you want to shoot, what you can operate and what will keep you interested.

Little did I know she was actually looking for two guns. She wanted something to shoot in a match and something to carry. She did not find a carry gun. She was leaning to a M&P shield but really like the Walther PPS, but the specimen they had at the range kept double feeding and she was not experienced enough to decree if she was making a good carry decision. She did however walk away with a Walther Q5 Match. I am quite jealous of this as a first gun. I don't think you can really get better for an intro. Her reasons for this selection: Ergonomics, she could reach the mag release without changing her grip, and it shot really soft.

What is really nice about this is she is now a shooter, not because she wants to do something with me, but because she found a sport and it is her own thing.

All that story to state my observations and offer some advice for helping bring in new shooters.

On teaching and introducing to the pew pew life:

1. If you want your significant other to start shooting, don't let it be your idea. Especially if they are fear based to start. They need to come to their own. Expose to good people and if there is interest it is inevitable.

2. Be a good teacher. If you are able to be patient and understanding great. If not find a friend and be a good observer.

3. Don't be a gear snob. Jamie really can not operate the Glock proper without doing all type of grip voodoo. Had I forced it on her she may not be a shooter today. She chose her equipment and made a good choice because she had experiential guidelines, but not a person telling her "you should use XYZ"

4. Women are the most important social aspect to get other women shooting. I believe that great ambassadors like the woman Jamie met are essential to the expansion of and raising the level of performance for the shooting sports. Having someone who is adverse to the culture see a person that is respected, and can articulate a good thought process did more for Jamie becoming a shooter than I could have ever done on my own.

5. Teach safety first, how to operate a firearm second, then teach how to shoot. I asked Jamie what kept her interested. She stated that being taught how to operate the gun fully. Especially how to clear malfunctions, how to operate the mechanics and how the system actually worked took a lot of mystery out of it. Because she understood she was able to see her roll in the function of a the gun. In addition it kept her from getting frustrated. When she went to the LGS and got a double feeing PPS, she was able to clear and continue without getting frustrated and ask for help from the LGS. She also said once she realized how safety is a software issue, not a hardware issue, her fear of guns almost vanished.

6. Beware of DERP. I think the hardest thing for a new shooter is sifting through what is good advice, what is good tactics, and what is DERP. The worst part about this is they just don't know how to spot it. If you encounter DERP in a new shooter, be patient, ask why and give good clear instruction in a non condescending way on why XYZ statement or tactic is DERP.

Thanks for sitting through the long read. I will leave you with some quotes from Jamie that were unprompted and just me collecting throughs from a brand new shooter. Maybe she is smarter than most, but her logic is sound.

(at her first match) "Everyone here is really nice. I don't know why I was so afraid. Everyone here has a gun and I feel really safe. You listen to the news and there should have been four murders by now."

"I don't think all the guys a (LGS name removed) know what they are talking about."

"If .45 and 9mm are pretty effectively similar in doing the job, why would you carry a .45. I get more bullets with a 9mm and it is easier for me to shoot."

"I think a gun is a good equalizer, however I don't want to carry until I feel really comfortable. I can see how if I don't know how to use it properly it could be used on me."

"I had to do a background check. What are they talking about there being no background checks?"