"Fuck Up & Move Up"

[blues]

Fellow member "Jeep", in another thread, brought a couple of incidents to mind, so I thought I'd share a few here.

I'm sure all of us in LE have stories of this sort so please feel free to add your own if you're of a mind to. They're good for a laugh if nothing else.


1. Early 80's. Working in NYC. An agent who would shortly thereafter become a Branch Chief (or higher) had his badge and gun stolen by a hooker who handcuffed him to the bed in his hotel room and then absconded. (Oh, yeah, she took his cash too.)

(He was all class. I caught him puking into his drink at an agency holiday party which pretty much put me off booze for the rest of that evening. )

2. Late 80's, early 90's. Former ATF agent who would later become a DSAC in my old office shoots himself in the groin area through the trunk of his G-ride when he tries to put his fully loaded Glock back in the old style tupperware case over the trigger guard post. Glock awarded him a healthy financial settlement, put warning stickers for learning challenged federal agents on the box, which was subsequently changed, and he was later promoted for his obvious brilliance.

3. An agent who started as a Marine Enforcement Officer eventually gets promoted to GS-15 in HQ but not before, while we were on SRT together, he does the following...

...As we're about to make entry into a home in Miami, I tell him that whatever he does, (due to the carpets, rug and staircase myself, (as secondary), and the primary are about to ascend after we breach the door), not to throw a flash bang.

So there we are going up the stairs and I hear the telltale sound and then hear and see the device land at the top of the stairs in front of us and then start rolling down the stairs toward us. I grab the primary, (the agent who later was shot by one of his ICE subordinates in SoCal a few years back), pick him up and carry / drag him down the stairs back toward the door we had just breached.

Flash bang goes off and promptly sets the carpet on fire filling the house with smoke and some flame. We get it out in concert with the FD which responds quickly. I nearly wrung the knucklehead's neck when he told me that he thought it would be safe to deploy the bang despite the warning I had specifically given him beforehand.

4. 1992...Married DEA supervisor leaves naked pictures of his squeeze in his G-ride which gets totaled during Hurricane Andrew. Orders one of the agents in the group to empty out his ride whereupon he finds the pictures which prominently display her adorned with only the supervisor's badge and gun on her most private parts.

We laughed our asses off for weeks especially after he had to find a way to quietly ask the agent if he had found anything in the vehicle he might have forgotten to return. I had encouraged him (jokingly) to blackmail the not well liked supe by dangling the pix, but he was too much of a weenie and returned them a week or so later on.

Perfect HQ material, wouldn't you say?


Fuck up and move up. It's a beautiful thing. (Not!)

[Coyotesfan97]

#4 is usually the material of how knuckleheads never get disciplined or fired

[LSP552]

At the senior level, it's usually about not rocking the boat, not making waves and placing your own interests above those you serve. And of course, never actually making a decision.....that could get you in trouble.

[voodoo_man]

At the senior level, it's usually about not rocking the boat, not making waves and placing your own interests above those you serve. And of course, never actually making a decision.....that could get you in trouble.

...and never, under any circumstances working the street.

[Hambo]

With civil service tested promotions, idiots couldn't be promoted because idiot. They could however be transferred, although that had to be a tough decision for the chiefs. Do we transfer Officer Idiot out of the way or do we punish Officer We Hate with a job that will drive him to suicide? Idiots could also be used as a tool of punishment for patrol or unit commanders who did not enjoy Most Favored Status. I'd have to say that chiefs were more driven by punishment-revenge, while unit commanders with some juice just wanted somebody else to have their idiot.

[blues]

At the senior level, it's usually about not rocking the boat, not making waves and placing your own interests above those you serve. And of course, never actually making a decision.....that could get you in trouble.

Yeah, I've had some genius managers. The one DEA supe I've mentioned before that somehow disassembled and attempted to clean his weapon while we're blue lighting to a warrant...and then didn't know how to to reassemble his gun...

When I first got assigned to that idiot's group he told me to man the phones for a day or two until I knew my way around. On the way to the office the first day, I get a call from an agent in the group who was a former partner and he asks me to come help him with a large seizure of cocaine secreted within 55 gallon drums of guava paste. We successfully handle the situation, it's a significant seizure and the supe dresses me down for not going to the office to answer phones. I told him that it wasn't in my job description and he should write me up.

Later the same week he asks me to pick up his dry cleaning and deliver it to the hotel he's staying at. I take the opportunity to do so, go to his room and tell him that if he ever thinks to ask me to do something like that again he'd better either transfer me to another group or meet me behind the dumpster in the parking lot. He actually surprised me during a group meeting when he told the other agents in the group what he had done, vis a vis the phones and his dry cleaning, and my threat. It let off some steam and the issue was never brought up again.

Another supervisor from my first LE job up in NYC once sent me on an assignment which I told him I couldn't do because it was unlawful. He argued with me for what seemed like hours and finally said "You do it because I said so. I'm your supervisor." I told him I'd do the investigation but not what he asked and left.

Sometime afterward, I don't remember if it was hours, or a day or two, I get called into the Branch Chief's office where the supe is sitting with the chief who proceeds to accuse me, (based upon the supervisor's telling), of being the one to come up with the idea of conducting what would have been an illegal act.

I sit dumbfounded with, I'm sure, my jaw agape, look at the supervisor and go into a curse ridden tirade calling him incompetent and a liar and probably a few other unsavory things. I looked at the Branch Chief and told him that he knew my work and my character and if he really thought I had done that and it wasn't the idiot sitting alongside him, that he should fire me that day. I think he knew the truth in his heart anyway and nothing came of it.

When I left that job after being recruited by Customs in Miami, that supe had the balls to show up at my going away racket. I stood in the doorway of "McGovern's", a local LE bar in lower Manhattan, and asked him why he darkened the door. He actually had the gall to tell me that it wasn't him, that he always liked me and the brass put him up to it to knock me down a peg or two. I didn't believe it but told him that even if they ever did suggest to him to ride me, if he followed that kind of direction he was no friend of mine...and walked away. I can't remember how long he remained afterward.

While I can say that I came across several less than competent or inspiring supervisors over the course of a career, there were a few I'd have followed through the gates of hell.

[Jeep]

It isn't only law enforcement that has that problem. The Army is full of it (anyone remember General Wesley Clark, the conqueror of Kosovo?) and so are most government, and a lot of private, offices.

The Supreme Court isn't immune. Justice Sotomayor, the self-described "wise Latina" was terrible at each job she had. She was made a District Court judge in Manhattan and behaved badly to witnesses, lawyers and pretty much everyone else. The lawyers despised her. She treated them very badly, but that wasn't what drove them nuts. She rarely understood either side's arguments in a case of any complexity and gave no sign of wanting to learn. In NYC most of the lawyers are Dems, and a bunch of them persuaded the Clinton administration to promote her to the Second Circuit. They figured that on a court of appeals she would be only one of three judges on any case and couldn't do much harm.

The judges of the Second Circuit, though, found that she was as rude, arrogant and difficult with them as with anyone else. So they too wanted to get rid of her, and since she messed up some opinions the lawyers wanted her off that Court too.

So when the Obama administration was looking for a "Latino" judge, they collectively convinced him that a "Latina" would be so much better and she got promoted to the Supremes. There she talks more than most of the justices, and very often it is clear that neither they nor the lawyers appearing there can understand most of her questions. Her opinions (when not totally drafted by law clerks) can be embarrassingly amateurish.

But it is a life appointment and she can retire at any time at full pay--which amounts to a pension of something like $200,000 per year.

When you think of it she would have been a natural for promotion in a big-city police department as well.

[blues]

When you think of it she would have been a natural for promotion in a big-city police department as well.

She and Ray Kelly would have made an unbeatable team. I was actually embarrassed by the sorts of shit he was responsible for while he was commissioner of U.S. Customs. My partner and I had images of him up on the wall so we could say good morning to Popeye to start the day and remind us what was becoming of our agency. (Though he was actually a bit more like Capt. Queeg with some of his mandates.)

[LittleLebowski]

At a Trayvon Martin rally.



http://seattlemedium.com/detective-d...-bouildin-spd/

[Cory]

It isn't only law enforcement that has that problem. The Army is full of it (anyone remember General Wesley Clark, the conqueror of Kosovo?) and so are most government, and a lot of private, offices.

So true. My father has been referring to it as fuck up-move up for years. He saw it a lot working for NYSDOT doing road work. I've seen it plenty in the service (National Guard).

Lose you're NVGs and make everyone's stay at Ft. Dix longer -->1 year -->Promoted to SFC.
E5 who cant maintain record of SI numbers--> 1 month--> Promoted to SSG and made squad leader.
Fail your PT test -->Less than 1 hour --> Promoted to SGT.

It seems to me the more out of touch a person is with those they lead the more apt they are to be benefited by the fuck up-move up effect. While it can happen to those who aren't in leadership roles yet, it tends to happen more with those who are low level leaders helping them become mid level leaders. Where it stops is anyone's guess really.

-Cory