Self-Defense for average people

[deputyG23]

For defensive driving, I took one of the accident avoidance classes at BSR last year. It is located pretty close to NoVA, you get hands on experience driving their cars hard so you don't have to worry about ruining your own brakes or tires, and it was a ton of fun overall.

I sent my then college age son to BSR in 2013. It has saved his bacon on at least one occasion. Worth every penny spent.

[cclaxton]

Cody,
A lot of good info has been put out already.
Two questions:
1) given the preparation you've already given your daughter, why do you say she is good to go with a gun in the house but not to carry?
2) can you clarify what you meant by "the opponent will come with the location" ?
IME the only difference between a "good" location and a "bad" location is the frequency of issues. The range of potential severity is actually the same.

1) There are so many more things to consider when carrying in public, especially for women who aren't wearing jeans and a holster. She has to figure out how to carry in her purse or leg holster, or whatever, and then draw and use it. Legal risk is much higher outside her home. I think a person has to be highly skilled and trained to carry on the street. I don't mean Ninja skilled, but there are a ton of other things to consider: what buildings they can't carry into, how to secure a weapon in the car, how to interact with police, understanding all the legal implications, knowing what to say if you have to use it, etc, etc, etc. Not to say some of these don't apply in the home, but to legally survive a concealed carry defense in public you have to be on solid ground. In her apartment, young woman with stranger feeling threatened, slam dunk. And that's not even including the tactics: If you start with pepper spray how do you escalate, what about knife defenses that aren't that effective with gun defense, etc. etc. The streets are a whole different ball game.
2) I don't like generalizations, and apologize for using them, but I just want to answer your point. When you drive into SE DC, the most common type of opponent will be a gangbanger who wants to steal your stuff, take your daughter, and make sure you can't remember much, or leave in a body bag. When you drive into Manassas, VA the most common type of opponent will be a common criminal who wants to steal your stuff and get away. When you are in Wyoming the most common opponent is a drunk cowboy who wants a kiss from your woman. Sure, it's always possible you will find a gangbanger in Wyoming, but very unlikely, and visa versa.

Yes, you are right about the range of potential severity, but the important point is the frequency/commonality.
Cody

[cclaxton]

Self-defense revolves around distance. For civilian self-defense, there are basically only two distances: (1) over there and (2) right here.

OVER THERE: Be able to draw from concealment and strike a 3X5 index card two times at 7 yards (on demand) in under 2.5 seconds. The first hit is important. Accurate first hits are very important. You don't have to do speed reloads, run to cover, or clutch your pearls. Two hits to the index card at one car length in 2.5 seconds. That's BASIC self-defense with a pistol.

RIGHT HERE: Commercial martial artists in the McDojos are fond of using terms they seem to be able to adequately define. Many of them (but not all) will use the term "complete martial art" and if you ask them what that is, they'll say "You're lookin' at it". Actually, there's a specific definition for the term, and it's found in the children's game Rock, Paper, Scissors. Remember how that was played? Paper covers rock. Scissors cuts paper. Rock breaks scissors. That's a complete martial art. Grappling defeats boxing. Joint locks defeat grappling. Boxing defeats joint locks. A fundamental unarmed self-defense would include a couple of power strikes, some defensive and some offensive grappling moves, and a few joint locks. Most MMA instructors could put together a very effective short course containing these necessary techniques. It would have to be very clear to them that you're absolutely not interested in the sport of MMA. You're only interest is in life / death street struggles. A rational person with a job and a mortgage would be shocked at what some MMA instructors could teach if they had a student with the right mindset.

I think there are other variables too:
There is another distance: In the middle (4-7 yards) where critical decision-making has to take place based on the totality of the circumstances.
- Does the attacker have a weapon?
- Does the attacker appear to be concealing a weapon?
- What is the attacker asking for, or what do they want?
- How fast can you run?
- Are you in an enclosed space?
- Are there other people in earshot?
- Etc.

IMO, if an attacker presents a handgun at >10 yards, I am going to move and shoot. I know my shooting skill and am taking a risk the attacker is a worse shot.
If the attacker is at 7 yards and holding a handgun on me, I am going to comply until I can get closer to them, then use combatives.
If the attacker is within 3 yards I am first going to use combatives and disarms until it makes sense to draw and shoot.
With a knife or rifle presented, distances change.

There are so many variables. But the AVERAGE person can't train to the ninja level...they need basics. We all know this goes very deep, but think about what an average person is able to do without committing most of their spare time to self-defense.
Cody

[cclaxton]

Self defense for "average" people starts with situational awareness,not a gun or a knife.

Absolutely. Seems like role-playing trainings would be a good way to help teach that. Ideas?
Cody

[cclaxton]

I am thinking at this question as if my mother was asking.
My answer is going to assume local options only, and people who main interest in not firearms

Firearms:
NRA Basic class > NRA personal Protection outside the home class > NRA personal protection in the Home class. These cover the very basics and give some serviceable skills
Local Concealed carry seminar if available. Covers basic legal aspects
Local level IDPA matches. Possible only 2-4 a year just to shoot more varied environments. (also the fun and social options may increase overall interest)

Books:
Fighting Smarter by Tom Givens
Most current legal book by either Massad Ayoob or Andrew Branca
An Emergency Medical Responder study book

Medical:
A basic first aid class. often taught by local EMS providers, some will also cover TQ use

Combatives
Krav, BJJ or any other available option. I figure this is the least likely class to be attended due to the long term commitment and physical nature


Total cost for every thing should be less than $500, and around 30-40 hours invested. It should build a basic foundation which will serve most people well as is, or act as a gateway for more/better training.

THANKS!
And, thanks for answering the question.
Cody

[RJ]

1) There are so many more things to consider when carrying in public, especially for women who aren't wearing jeans and a holster. She has to figure out how to carry in her purse or leg holster, or whatever, and then draw and use it. Legal risk is much higher outside her home. I think a person has to be highly skilled and trained to carry on the street. I don't mean Ninja skilled, but there are a ton of other things to consider: what buildings they can't carry into, how to secure a weapon in the car, how to interact with police, understanding all the legal implications, knowing what to say if you have to use it, etc, etc, etc. Not to say some of these don't apply in the home, but to legally survive a concealed carry defense in public you have to be on solid ground. In her apartment, young woman with stranger feeling threatened, slam dunk. And that's not even including the tactics: If you start with pepper spray how do you escalate, what about knife defenses that aren't that effective with gun defense, etc. etc. The streets are a whole different ball game.
2) I don't like generalizations, and apologize for using them, but I just want to answer your point. When you drive into SE DC, the most common type of opponent will be a gangbanger who wants to steal your stuff, take your daughter, and make sure you can't remember much, or leave in a body bag. When you drive into Manassas, VA the most common type of opponent will be a common criminal who wants to steal your stuff and get away. When you are in Wyoming the most common opponent is a drunk cowboy who wants a kiss from your woman. Sure, it's always possible you will find a gangbanger in Wyoming, but very unlikely, and visa versa.

Yes, you are right about the range of potential severity, but the important point is the frequency/commonality.
Cody

I just wanted to echo this.

Sometimes, I use an iPhone App called 'Red Zone' as a means of checking out crime levels in a new area. Although not infallible, it is an indicator to help inform on what to expect.

It is geo-aware, and map based, as well as interfacing with crime reporting.

To Cody's point, here is a map of what the last thirty days of activity in Sowfeast DC looks like, as compared say with across the river towards Army Navy Country Club (I used to live in Springfield VA, so I'm familiar with local conditions in NoVa):



Blue dots are theft, orange are assault, and red is shootin's. This is in the last 30 days, mind.

[Drang]

Sometimes, I use an iPhone App called 'Red Zone' as a means of checking out crime levels in a new area. Although not infallible, it is an indicator to help inform on what to expect...

Also an Android App. In the Android Play Store, it is called "RedZone map."

[BaiHu]

I have a few minutes to dig into some more details.

1. I think the SA and mindset has been covered, but it's always at the top of my list. We're an oddity on PF and TPI that we even discuss this as civilians. Kudos to the SMEs who brought that to the forefront. If you can't see it, hear it or know of it, then you will have a difficult time preparing for it.

2. Books mentioned are great, but visuals can even be better. Go YouTube different assaults, thefts, etc. Expose yourself to 'how' things go down. It beats the alternative of experiencing it for real.

3. Vocalizing: You can go to all of @SouthNarc's offerings, but if you don't practice your mental/verbal boundaries on a day to day basis, then you will not magically pull out an authoritative voice when you most need it. Knowing MUC and practicing MUC are different. Just like reading your firearm's manual is way different than 'knowing' how to use a firearm. This doesn't mean yell at everyone in your office, it means learning to speak clearly, concisely and authoritatively about who you are, where your boundaries lie and how you need to be treated. Learning to do so politely is as important as learning to do it impolitely. I've never seen Craig start off being impolite in MUC. This is the MOST important aspect for women's self-defense. They are typically taught to be polite and 'lady-like'. Screaming like a crazy bitch or politely and firmly brushing off advances is a skill only the 'hot, bitchy girls' tend to get a chance to practice. Beautiful, mousy and quiet wallflowers need to be able to pull this off too.

4. Distancing, footwork and utilizing your surroundings: If you don't know how long it takes to cover certain defensive/offensive ground, then you need to know that for yourself. If you don't know how to stay sure footed, eyes closed while someone is pushing you around, then you do not have a 'root' from which to stand your ground. If you cannot get basic boxing, MT or TMA foot patterns down, then you can't dance and you can't change directions explosively. Footwork carries everything. It improves your position, it improves your striking power and it can improve your strength and cardio. Understand cover/concealment for physical altercations as well--it's not just for knife/gun work.

5. Escape/Evade: Understand basic confrontational vs yielding options for grabs, chokes, pushes, pulls and locks. Incorporate them into your footwork and striking. Know how to pick up on movement that signals to you that a gun/knife is coming into play.

6. Basic striking: Get some real striking work from a good boxing, MT or TMA place. Good striking and footwork should be pretty easy to see. Wide and stagger footed base. Knees bent. Weight forward over the balls of the feet. Good hip turning. Know how to pick up on movement that signals to you that a gun/knife is coming into play.

7. Ground work: At the very least, you should know how to fall and minimize injury during a take down. @Cecil Burch is great on default ground work in order to get you to a survivable position and back on your feet. Understanding basic sweeps, guards and can-openers so you can get on your feet and beat feet is a must. Know how to pick up on movement that signals to you that a gun/knife is coming into play.

8. Articulation of self-defense: Understand how to explain to a lawyer/police that your attacker had the ability, opportunity and that you were in jeopardy.

9. Get your family involved if you spend time with them (sounds dumb, right): The last thing you need to do is worry about where your family is or will be while you're scuffling with dirtbag A and your family is providing a more difficult environment for you to deal with. If it's out on the street, then at the very least, someone needs to be SA enough to make sure no one else is involved. Have someone on with 911 or beckoning bystanders for help, etc. If at home, then the same thing applies even more so. If you're the man of the house, then you're not going to have your wife stop the guy/s at the door while you go get your handgun locked in the upstairs safe if you aren't carrying on your person. She'll have to get the gun in case you're in a FUT. What are your kids doing? Calling 911? Getting safely to a neighbors for help/safety?

10. Integration into your daily life is most important: This is why everyone rails on mindset, it's not a cop out, it's a reality. If you don't change your perspective (mindset) about SD, then you'll never be practicing enough. Going to the gym, dojo, mat, range, etc could take up an easy 10 hours of your week, but if you're not making the 'thought process' a daily occurrence, then you'll just be attending ninja camp once and a while and never making it a subconscious response.

11. Your health and psychological well being: This includes your habits: good/bad and your triggers: good/bad. If you have a hair trigger about pet peeves or a hair trigger about how people look at your goofy haircut, etc then you need to know this and be honest with yourself about your own strengths/weaknesses. Knowing yourself is what this whole journey is about. Don't focus all of your energy on the 'evil guy' you're so desperately interested in defeating w/o defeating your own pitfalls and SNAFUs you've already created inside yourself. The odds are your imaginary 'bad guy' is an amalgamation of all your own internal fears. Know them well and understand how they can undermine your goals, as they might be the very thing that is putting you in the bad situation in the first place.

I hope that helps a bit more.

[HCM]

1) There are so many more things to consider when carrying in public, especially for women who aren't wearing jeans and a holster. She has to figure out how to carry in her purse or leg holster, or whatever, and then draw and use it. Legal risk is much higher outside her home. I think a person has to be highly skilled and trained to carry on the street. I don't mean Ninja skilled, but there are a ton of other things to consider: what buildings they can't carry into, how to secure a weapon in the car, how to interact with police, understanding all the legal implications, knowing what to say if you have to use it, etc, etc, etc. Not to say some of these don't apply in the home, but to legally survive a concealed carry defense in public you have to be on solid ground. In her apartment, young woman with stranger feeling threatened, slam dunk. And that's not even including the tactics: If you start with pepper spray how do you escalate, what about knife defenses that aren't that effective with gun defense, etc. etc. The streets are a whole different ball game.
2) I don't like generalizations, and apologize for using them, but I just want to answer your point. When you drive into SE DC, the most common type of opponent will be a gangbanger who wants to steal your stuff, take your daughter, and make sure you can't remember much, or leave in a body bag. When you drive into Manassas, VA the most common type of opponent will be a common criminal who wants to steal your stuff and get away. When you are in Wyoming the most common opponent is a drunk cowboy who wants a kiss from your woman. Sure, it's always possible you will find a gangbanger in Wyoming, but very unlikely, and visa versa.

Yes, you are right about the range of potential severity, but the important point is the frequency/commonality.
Cody

There are gangbangers and nasty crooks in Wyoming, they are just more likely to be white and use meth. They may have a different skin color and drug of choice than your DC gang banger but they will hurt or kill you just as quick. Same with the Central American gang bangers in Manassas. Conversely there are plenty of crack heads in DC who just want to steal your stuff and get away.

[cclaxton]

I have a few minutes to dig into some more details.

1. I think the SA and mindset has been covered, but it's always at the top of my list. We're an oddity on PF and TPI that we even discuss this as civilians. Kudos to the SMEs who brought that to the forefront. If you can't see it, hear it or know of it, then you will have a difficult time preparing for it.

2. Books mentioned are great, but visuals can even be better. Go YouTube different assaults, thefts, etc. Expose yourself to 'how' things go down. It beats the alternative of experiencing it for real.

3. Vocalizing: You can go to all of @SouthNarc's offerings, but if you don't practice your mental/verbal boundaries on a day to day basis, then you will not magically pull out an authoritative voice when you most need it. Knowing MUC and practicing MUC are different. Just like reading your firearm's manual is way different than 'knowing' how to use a firearm. This doesn't mean yell at everyone in your office, it means learning to speak clearly, concisely and authoritatively about who you are, where your boundaries lie and how you need to be treated. Learning to do so politely is as important as learning to do it impolitely. I've never seen Craig start off being impolite in MUC. This is the MOST important aspect for women's self-defense. They are typically taught to be polite and 'lady-like'. Screaming like a crazy bitch or politely and firmly brushing off advances is a skill only the 'hot, bitchy girls' tend to get a chance to practice. Beautiful, mousy and quiet wallflowers need to be able to pull this off too.

4. Distancing, footwork and utilizing your surroundings: If you don't know how long it takes to cover certain defensive/offensive ground, then you need to know that for yourself. If you don't know how to stay sure footed, eyes closed while someone is pushing you around, then you do not have a 'root' from which to stand your ground. If you cannot get basic boxing, MT or TMA foot patterns down, then you can't dance and you can't change directions explosively. Footwork carries everything. It improves your position, it improves your striking power and it can improve your strength and cardio. Understand cover/concealment for physical altercations as well--it's not just for knife/gun work.

5. Escape/Evade: Understand basic confrontational vs yielding options for grabs, chokes, pushes, pulls and locks. Incorporate them into your footwork and striking. Know how to pick up on movement that signals to you that a gun/knife is coming into play.

6. Basic striking: Get some real striking work from a good boxing, MT or TMA place. Good striking and footwork should be pretty easy to see. Wide and stagger footed base. Knees bent. Weight forward over the balls of the feet. Good hip turning. Know how to pick up on movement that signals to you that a gun/knife is coming into play.

7. Ground work: At the very least, you should know how to fall and minimize injury during a take down. @Cecil Burch is great on default ground work in order to get you to a survivable position and back on your feet. Understanding basic sweeps, guards and can-openers so you can get on your feet and beat feet is a must. Know how to pick up on movement that signals to you that a gun/knife is coming into play.

8. Articulation of self-defense: Understand how to explain to a lawyer/police that your attacker had the ability, opportunity and that you were in jeopardy.

9. Get your family involved if you spend time with them (sounds dumb, right): The last thing you need to do is worry about where your family is or will be while you're scuffling with dirtbag A and your family is providing a more difficult environment for you to deal with. If it's out on the street, then at the very least, someone needs to be SA enough to make sure no one else is involved. Have someone on with 911 or beckoning bystanders for help, etc. If at home, then the same thing applies even more so. If you're the man of the house, then you're not going to have your wife stop the guy/s at the door while you go get your handgun locked in the upstairs safe if you aren't carrying on your person. She'll have to get the gun in case you're in a FUT. What are your kids doing? Calling 911? Getting safely to a neighbors for help/safety?

10. Integration into your daily life is most important: This is why everyone rails on mindset, it's not a cop out, it's a reality. If you don't change your perspective (mindset) about SD, then you'll never be practicing enough. Going to the gym, dojo, mat, range, etc could take up an easy 10 hours of your week, but if you're not making the 'thought process' a daily occurrence, then you'll just be attending ninja camp once and a while and never making it a subconscious response.

11. Your health and psychological well being: This includes your habits: good/bad and your triggers: good/bad. If you have a hair trigger about pet peeves or a hair trigger about how people look at your goofy haircut, etc then you need to know this and be honest with yourself about your own strengths/weaknesses. Knowing yourself is what this whole journey is about. Don't focus all of your energy on the 'evil guy' you're so desperately interested in defeating w/o defeating your own pitfalls and SNAFUs you've already created inside yourself. The odds are your imaginary 'bad guy' is an amalgamation of all your own internal fears. Know them well and understand how they can undermine your goals, as they might be the very thing that is putting you in the bad situation in the first place.

I hope that helps a bit more.

This does help. But I think it exhibits the problem we have as a self-defense community of asking too much of the average person. We want the best for our family members and our friends, and even our fellow citizens. But we can only ask them to do so much before they will be overwhelmed and just take the risk of not knowing anything. You can eat a whale one serving at a time, but most people don't want to eat a whole whale.

What I am looking for is basic proficiency in self-defense. If the location they live or travel needs more, they can add more.
OUTSIDE HOME
- Situational Awareness: Seems like the best option for this is role-playing in buildings, hallways, stairwells, parking lots, etc. would be a good way to go. Options here?
- Pepper Spray: Options are available. The biggest issue I see is people not carrying them for quick access. That can be trained and practiced.
- Flashlight Deployment: Again, not carrying them for quick access, and not having a bright enough one to use even in daylight. That can be trained and practiced.
- Fitness: I think we have accept that not everyone is going to be fit. But they should know their limitations. They should be encouraged to exercise, but it's not going to happen for everyone.
- Basic Combatives: Groin Kick, Knees, Elbows, Hammer Fist, choke defense, hair pull defense,
- Managing Distance
- Knives
- Compliance versus fighting
- Mental toughness
- Legal concerns
- Defensive Driving
- CPR/AED/Trauma

IN HOME
- Pepper Spray
- Flashlight Deployment
- Monitoring, Alerting, Security and Lighting
- Firearm access
- Identifying Friend or Foe
- Justification
- Legal Concerns

What did I miss?
Cody