The Why Cats Suck thread

[AMC]

I've had, and currently have, both cats and dogs. The two cats we currently have, brothers, are the most mellow cats I've ever seen. They are also like a Colombian Death Squad to unwanted rodents around here. Neighborhood started experiencing a rat problem a few years back. Six months after we got the boys, our neighbors were thanking us. My Husky/Carolina Dog mix took a while to realize as a puppy that the cats weren't toys, or large squirrels that got into the house. They're all pretty cool with each other now. Helped that the cats were so damn tolerant of her. She'd grab a foot or tail in her mouth, and the cat would just look at her with a "Do you mind?!?" Face. Now, she is the neighborhood squirrel patrol. She knows if she isn't out there every day, the damn squirrels will set up camp on the sidewalks, begging for nuts..... Probably leave tiny cigarette butts all over.

[AMC]

Two truths: My dog thinks he's human, but my cat knows he's God.

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

[Paul D]

I hate cats because I too am allergic to them. Funny story: When I started dating my wife, she had two cats that she adopted off the streets. They tore up shit and I couldn't go near her apartment. Her parents are awesome. When it became clear that we were going to get engaged, they came one day and removed the cats. I asked them what happened to those animals? They said said in their cute Hawaiian/Japanese accent: "Oh, we took care of them. Don't worry". I never brought it up again.

[mtnbkr]

I've never understood the cat hate. I'm not a cat "lover", but I do like animals and find cats amusing and even endearing at times. My wife, on the other hand, hates cats, so it came as a surprise to me when she started talking about getting one after the kids began lobbying for a cat (in addition to our dog, an adorable little Havanese). A cute calico adopted my folks this summer. Unfortunately, they couldn't keep her, couldn't find a home for her, and didn't want to take her to the local shelters because they were all kill shelters. The kids were in love at first sight. I conferred with wifey FIRST, got her approval, then talked with my folks and my kids. Cute kitten came home with us and wifey has done nothing but bitch ever since. What crimes does this evil cat commit? Does she piss everywhere? Does she scratch everywhere? Nope. She's litter trained, doesn't spray, and doesn't even shed. She does like to play at night, so she's a bit noisy while we're sleeping and she's a bit standoffish from the family. In the cat's defense, Thing 1 is VERY grabby and doesn't understand that when the cat is signalling to put her down, you put her down. Thing 2 gets this and the cat actually seeks her out. The dog? They get along fine and play with each other. I get a kick from watching them egg each other on in the hijinks. When I take the dog out, the cat waits by the door and meows until he comes back in.

Though, the dog is probably part of the reason for the cat's standoffishness as the 15lb dog chases the cat away whenever she does get in someone's lap.

Wifey also forgets how destructive the dog was at this age. While the cat makes a bit of noise at night and steals Thing 2's small toys (doesn't hide them, just brings them downstairs), the dog was destroying any toys he could find and frequently had accidents inside. All this was conveniently forgotten when the dog got older and became her little companion.

But, cats suck, amirite?

Chris

[Mitchell, Esq.]

I love my cats.

I've only been put in the hospital twice by my cat Mayhem, but admittedly:

1 - I shouldn't have been holding her at the vet for a vaccine shot.
2 - I should have been more careful when picking up the shards of glass from the brandy snifter that got knocked over.

[modrecoil]

Cats suck. Hard. Each of my three cats agrees.

[RJ]

https://youtu.be/Frh-y118akA

I could watch this all day.

[RJ]

One cat does not suck.

This is my sons cat. She's a cross between a basketball and a lab. Comes when you call her.

She's uh, a little big.

[Clusterfrack]

Havanese? Kind of catlike in my experience [emoji3]. Some friends have a Havanese that is racist and anti Semitic. It barks at black people and chased and bit a rabbi.

I've never understood the cat hate. I'm not a cat "lover", but I do like animals and find cats amusing and even endearing at times. My wife, on the other hand, hates cats, so it came as a surprise to me when she started talking about getting one after the kids began lobbying for a cat (in addition to our dog, an adorable little Havanese). A cute calico adopted my folks this summer. Unfortunately, they couldn't keep her, couldn't find a home for her, and didn't want to take her to the local shelters because they were all kill shelters. The kids were in love at first sight. I conferred with wifey FIRST, got her approval, then talked with my folks and my kids. Cute kitten came home with us and wifey has done nothing but bitch ever since. What crimes does this evil cat commit? Does she piss everywhere? Does she scratch everywhere? Nope. She's litter trained, doesn't spray, and doesn't even shed. She does like to play at night, so she's a bit noisy while we're sleeping and she's a bit standoffish from the family. In the cat's defense, Thing 1 is VERY grabby and doesn't understand that when the cat is signalling to put her down, you put her down. Thing 2 gets this and the cat actually seeks her out. The dog? They get along fine and play with each other. I get a kick from watching them egg each other on in the hijinks. When I take the dog out, the cat waits by the door and meows until he comes back in.

Though, the dog is probably part of the reason for the cat's standoffishness as the 15lb dog chases the cat away whenever she does get in someone's lap.

Wifey also forgets how destructive the dog was at this age. While the cat makes a bit of noise at night and steals Thing 2's small toys (doesn't hide them, just brings them downstairs), the dog was destroying any toys he could find and frequently had accidents inside. All this was conveniently forgotten when the dog got older and became her little companion.

But, cats suck, amirite?

Chris

[RJ]

...aaand this right here is all you need to know about cats.

Even cats hate cats.

https://youtu.be/zLpzVbMF9wg