The Why Cats Suck thread

[Clusterfrack]

If you don't like cats, here's a thread for you to contribute your stories about bad cats, or just general cat hate.

Here's one that just happened: my next door neighbor 'adopted' an adult male cat a few years ago. The cat attacked him, claw hugged his head and bit him in the eye. After 3 days in the hospital on IV antibiotics it looks like he will be ok.

[RJ]

My Jack Russell Terrorizer, Gromit, loved cats.

He said they tasted like chicken.


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[olstyn]

For any given cat, there is roughly a 50% chance of it being evil, and a 50% chance of it being scared of everything. This means that any given cat is only 1 in 4 to be neither. Also, my wife is allergic to cats, which is a pain in the ass when friends or relatives have them.

[Joe in PNG]

I've never noticed cats sucking thread- playing with it, yes, but never sucking it.

Now, I once had a cat who did alright by me- she didn't pee/poop in the house, and she killed lots of small critters. However, my neighbors hated her. She was the feline queen of the neighborhood, and all the other cats and dogs better understand that fact. She used to beat up one neighbor's kitten on their front porch.

The story that gets frequently told here is when some other neighbors got a duck. Not a duckling, but a duck in his young adult years. For about a week, it waddled around the neighborhood pooping on sidewalks and just pretending to own the joint. Sadly, it did not understand the danger presented by the large, furry grey cat at my house.
It happened that one morning the cat came in, jumped on my desk, sprawled out comfortably & contently on my computer case, and didn't move for about two days. Outside the door was a circle of duck feathers, a gut pile, and nothing else. Some neighbors (owner included) were astonished at the feat, others were glad to see the waddling poop fountain gone. Two, however, were and still are rather irate. They, and note they were not the duck's owner, had plans to have the ducky over for dinner, and the cat ruined everything.

[Clusterfrack]

For any given cat, there is roughly a 50% chance of it being evil, and a 50% chance of it being scared of everything. This means that any given cat is only 1 in 4 to be neither.

So true. I might argue with you about the likelihoods in your cat-state matrix... I'd go with at least 0.75 evil, based on experience. Also add a third axis: 0.50 crazy.

[1slow]

Nothing my house that walks through it's own crap and then walks on food prep and sleeping surfaces !
In the barn they are OK.

[Welder]

I highly recommend Skip Morrow's illustrated books, I Hate Cats and I Still Hate Cats. Maybe there are others, but I own both of these.

[Trigger]

Yes, cats are little libertarians. Which makes them both admirable and a pain in the ass.

We have a tomcat and a Labrador. It is very interesting to watch those two interact. Sometimes affectionate, sometimes fighting.

[Clusterfrack]

Toxoplasmosis May Be Linked To 'Crazy Cat Lady' Syndrome As It Alters Brain And Behavior
http://www.medicaldaily.com/crazy-ca...ehavior-390436

[Lon]

I hate cats because I'm allergic to them and they sense it. So anytime I go to a house with cats they feel the need to constantly rub up against me whenever they can. And they run loose around the neighborhoods scratching and pissing on stuff. And we can't cite the owners for letting them run at large. Absolutely scratched the hell out of a nice 300 one day and the car owners were pissed I couldn't cite the cat owner. A dog did that shit? Criminal citation.