My sister runs a small weekly paper that covers the east side of Pittsburgh. I don't live there, but I subscribe, because she's my sister.
One of the items I've come to love is the police reports. I'm going to summarize one:
Dec. 1th: At 11:30 AM, the Zone 5 cops respond to a hit-and-run at Lincoln and Meadow. A black Kia had hit the victim's car, causing the vic's car to be lodged under a SUV. The vic had injuries. Witnesses reported that the driver was a white dude. The Kia had shed its bumper cover at the scene.
At 2:30 PM, when the cops involved were at the cop shop, writing up their reports, a guy came in and asked for help because he had run out of gas on Washington Ave. The cops checked on the car; it was a black Kia which was missing its bumper cover. The driver first denied that he had been driving the car earlier, but they Mirandized him and, under questioning, he fessed up. On his person, he had pot, a hypodermic, some unknown white pills and Suboxone strips.
He was charged with a few counts of possession, possession of paraphernalia, and a bunch of charges related to the hit-skip.
I guess all of that pretty much translates to Driving While Stupid.