My son is due in 19 days! This is my first child and I am beyond excited. I also start class in a week or so, its gonna be a very busy semester for me. Are there any tips you guys can give me or advice on how to support my wife/what worked for you. I have read the books, gone to classes, and like to think I am prepared. Feel free to drop some knowledge on me.
Congrats!
First baby and new semester of studies about the same time? You want the truth? You poor bastard! LOL
My kids are 19 and 14. At the beginning, I was startled as to how tired, confused and stressed I was with our first newborn. I never got used to going without sleep, but I got used to just being dead-tired. Kiss goodbye feeling fresh, rested and alert, and get used to having precious little if any free time to browse web forums.
Congrats again, and we'll see you after a while.
Kids are neat. Especially when they stop crapping all over themselves and can communicate what they are thinking using words.
It's not nearly as hard as people would have you believe.
Say yes more than you say no.
My daughter is 10.5 and my best friend in the world.
Nobody is impressed by what you can't do. -THJ
Congratulations, man! I don't have any kids, something which I am both perfectly fine with and yet also feel a vague sense of immense sorrow about, if that makes any sense. My wife's medical condition means it will likely remain this way. I wish you the best on this new path, and am sure you'll get plenty of good advice here.
Be just and charitable in all things. Be really nice to your wife. Have no opinion unless you are told to.Originally Posted by breakingtime91
Remember that you'll sleep a long time when you're dead, and you'll be dead a lot faster if you screw your wife out of sleep.
My wife would pump during the day and I would get up for the 2:00 feeding. Your turn to change a diaper or get up for a midnight cry is every turn.
Read this again and memorize it. My didn't change a single diaper for the first six weeks. Rule was she puts it in, I get what comes out.
Just a Hairy Special Snowflake supply clerk with no field experience, shooting an Asymetric carbine as a Try Hard. Snarky and easily butt hurt. Favorite animal is the Cape Buffalo....likely indicative of a personality disorder.
"If I had a grandpa, he would look like Delbert Belton".
I'm a relatively new dad, but I second all the above comments about supporting your wife - it's tough on you both, but obviously infinitely more so for her.
It's an amazing, life-altering experience. There will be times, especially during the first few months, when you will question whether this is the right decision. Just know that it will pass and you've now got the greatest job in the world.
Regarding your specific situation, I just finished up year two of my MBA program and have another one and a half to go. My daughter was born in the middle of my summer semester at the end of year one, so since then, I've now gone through a little over a year of working full-time, taking 18 credits of classes and trying to figure out this whole parenting thing. It's doable, just not easy.
Regarding changing diapers: I still feel that this is one of the easiest tasks in all of parenthood. It's reasonably quick and almost always a finite experience, unlike feeding, burping, bathing, rocking to sleep, etc. All those are great experiences, but nothing beats the speed and simplicity of simply changing a diaper.
Gripe Water, Gripe Water and Gripe Water.
and you can also use Vanilla extract on their gums to help ease the pain.
Mine is 11 months old, and we almost burned up a vacuum.
- In the eyes of your wife and the women around her, you are utterly irrelevant at this point. ALL of the focus will be on her for the next several weeks at a minimum, and you may be the focus of a lot of jokes and unkind comments. Don't let that get you down--it's just what women do. Come here to vent if necessary, but don't let it get you down.
- No matter how busy you are, remember that your wife is the life-support system for another person who cannot articulate any of his needs. His needs become her needs, which are more important than your needs.
- Focus on getting through the first three months of your kid's life. Getting from here to there is tough, but in that time, you'll become an expert parent and very little will faze you. You'll be able to change a diaper on dirty inner-city pavement while carrying on a normal conversation on a cell phone.
- Sleep deprivation is real. It will be worse for your wife. Cut her some slack.
- Your wife's body has been a science project for the last nine months, and will be in the grip of one hormone-driven storm after another for several more months. She may seem irrational, but it's the hormones talking. Be kind.
- There's a reason there are so many paintings of The Adoration of the Magi. People, mostly women, will show up at your house at all hours to meet the baby. Your schedule and needs (per Item 1 above) will be subordinate to their need to go hands-on with your child. This is hormonally driven and will seem like a plague of locusts if you don't actively limit it before it starts. Establish and enforce visiting hours, much of which you can do by just not answering the phone. Your wife will thank you later.
- Start socking away money for college NOW. It sneaks up on you. One day you're dropping them off for kindergarten, the next they're getting on a plane.
- Enjoy it as much as you can. It passes far too quickly.
Okie John
“The reliability of the 30-06 on most of the world’s non-dangerous game is so well established as to be beyond intelligent dispute.” Finn Aagaard
"Don't fuck with it" seems to prevent the vast majority of reported issues." BehindBlueI's
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